dragonlady7

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msilverstar replied to your post “thatgirlonstage: captainlordauditor: captainlordauditor: tired:…”

well, PiV is “het sex” for many people

they’re WRONG tho!!!

there’s PiV in that story but they’re both using male pronouns!!! Neither of them is human!! One of them was a snake like three minutes ago!! Each of them have dicks at various points in the story!! I don’t think I could make it any clearer that this is a really queer story and this is not a heterosexual couple.

It starts to feel personal because I’m a bi woman who’s been accused, by many people up to and including women I was even dating at the time, of being “a straight girl”, so I guess it stings more than I thought. (I have never! been accepted by the lesbians I was fucking!! ever!! it didn’t leave scars at all!!! it was literally the 90s and i’m not over it yet!!!)

it’s a hill I’m pretty willing to die on, really; there is no sex act that is “het sex” when it’s not hets doing it. Like, I’m not particularly going to die on the hill for myself, because my partner pretty much considers himself het and I’m not going to get mad at him for that, and like, whatever, I’m not going to flip out, it’s fine, I’m not going on this tirade because I feel personally hurt, but it’s wrong! and I will fight about it, for everyone else, and for the rest of us, and–

for this case when neither of them is either a man or a woman!! it’s not het!!!

People do get really uncomfortable about vaginas, though, I’ve noticed this over the years of bouncing between m/f and m/m ships. (Somehow, i think I only have one f/f story up on AO3 after all these years. more on my hard drive, but nothing else finished, nothing posted.) You wind up with… particular readers… and you’d think the m/f ones would at least be into vaginas but in many cases they Are Not. And an astonishing number of slash shippers are super into slash because they do not like vaginas, and I get that there are excellent, myriad, even common individual reasons for that sort of thing but the fact remains, a body part I possess and sometimes have conflicted feelings about is something i have to tag as a trigger warning for people, and that says terrible things about our society and the awful, awful things it has done to people and also our culture at large and sometimes I feel a kind of way about that. (But! Note! I did tag it on the fic, so nobody can say it was a surprise. It also isn’t het, though!)

(Sidenote, this is one of the ways I definitely realize that I’m not wrong to still call myself bi even though I’ve been with the same dude for so many years, because I Really Do Not Understand How Straight People Think. Like, at all!)

There’s an essay on being bi that I just saw and saved to my drafts and am gonna have to reblog, but. Anyway.

It’s only het sex if hets are having it!!!!!!!