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dragonlady7So I got my shit together and got my car inspected, but Dude has not. He's been taking my car, because I parked him in, because we took my car to the farm. And that's fine, I don't need it. But he doesn't like driving my car, and his car is newer and nicer than mine.
Oh relatedly, I just got an email from the bank-- my car is about to be paid off, which is fantastic.
I should probably keep auto-paying the loan amount into a savings account, though, figuring I'll need a new car at some point. My ideal is to drive this one until it's got 200,000 miles on it and falls apart, but in my experience that never works out. The last one died at 135,000. So... I'm in the 55,000 mile range now. Maybe I've got another five years but maybe not. Something invariably happens. And auto loans are such a scam, but. *shrug*
Anyway. Dude needs to get his car serviced; I offered to take it to the garage down the street where I did mine, but he wants to go to the dealership. As I have Beef with them, I won't be doing that for him.
Also the cat needs a vet appointment. Dude has more scheduling constraints than I do. I told him I can arrange on short notice to be available whenever he is, so it's up to him to call. (It takes both of us to wrestle her in the door.)
And... taxes. I can't do math at all, and the last time I tried to do my own taxes I completely misunderstood the concept of the withholding and wound up in tears near a full breakdown. He does them every year.
This is more than I can nag him to do. I don't like to ask him for anything, as it never goes over well. But I don't know what else to do. Why is this my problem??
Ugh. Anyway, I just had to vent. He's clearly feeling bowled over by life from being sick all last week and I understand, really I do, but all these things are waiting on him and I can't do them for him.
(And if I do, I will be expected to do them forever and ever amen, unto the end of time, I reflected yesterday as I swept the kitchen, which is a chore he has literally never performed and when I stopped doing it the kitchen just didn't get swept for literally three full calendar years. Can you imagine?? Don't.)
(Young women, don't ever fall into the trap with a new relationship where like, he's got a good paying job and you're un or underemployed so you just take care of the housework for now since you're free anyway? that WILL NOT reverse itself when he loses his job and you're working full time. You will for the rest of your relationship be in charge of all housework and your only defense is going to be to try to carve out areas that he's in charge of and then pretend your arms don't work whenever those things come up. I loathe that this is the relationship dynamic but I don't know anyone this hasn't happened to. Lawnmower? Never mind that I mowed the lawn for my whole childhood, I don't know how one of those works, it's the darnedest thing. Etc. This might be part of the reason I literally move out every summer. He washes dishes once every two weeks, right before I come home, and you know what, I don't have to see it, so what fucking ever.)
He also has changed the sheets without me one time in our whole relationship, which means I know he can do it, but somehow that hasn't like, continued.
In other whiny news my jaw hurts again today. I just took ibuprofen. It was fine until lunch, when I had to bite something. (Breakfast was apparently soft enough.) At the moment smiling hurts, which has literally never happened before in my life, so this is definitely something brand-new and unrelated to any minor weird problems I've had before. What the fuck, though, for real.
Oh relatedly, I just got an email from the bank-- my car is about to be paid off, which is fantastic.
I should probably keep auto-paying the loan amount into a savings account, though, figuring I'll need a new car at some point. My ideal is to drive this one until it's got 200,000 miles on it and falls apart, but in my experience that never works out. The last one died at 135,000. So... I'm in the 55,000 mile range now. Maybe I've got another five years but maybe not. Something invariably happens. And auto loans are such a scam, but. *shrug*
Anyway. Dude needs to get his car serviced; I offered to take it to the garage down the street where I did mine, but he wants to go to the dealership. As I have Beef with them, I won't be doing that for him.
Also the cat needs a vet appointment. Dude has more scheduling constraints than I do. I told him I can arrange on short notice to be available whenever he is, so it's up to him to call. (It takes both of us to wrestle her in the door.)
And... taxes. I can't do math at all, and the last time I tried to do my own taxes I completely misunderstood the concept of the withholding and wound up in tears near a full breakdown. He does them every year.
This is more than I can nag him to do. I don't like to ask him for anything, as it never goes over well. But I don't know what else to do. Why is this my problem??
Ugh. Anyway, I just had to vent. He's clearly feeling bowled over by life from being sick all last week and I understand, really I do, but all these things are waiting on him and I can't do them for him.
(And if I do, I will be expected to do them forever and ever amen, unto the end of time, I reflected yesterday as I swept the kitchen, which is a chore he has literally never performed and when I stopped doing it the kitchen just didn't get swept for literally three full calendar years. Can you imagine?? Don't.)
(Young women, don't ever fall into the trap with a new relationship where like, he's got a good paying job and you're un or underemployed so you just take care of the housework for now since you're free anyway? that WILL NOT reverse itself when he loses his job and you're working full time. You will for the rest of your relationship be in charge of all housework and your only defense is going to be to try to carve out areas that he's in charge of and then pretend your arms don't work whenever those things come up. I loathe that this is the relationship dynamic but I don't know anyone this hasn't happened to. Lawnmower? Never mind that I mowed the lawn for my whole childhood, I don't know how one of those works, it's the darnedest thing. Etc. This might be part of the reason I literally move out every summer. He washes dishes once every two weeks, right before I come home, and you know what, I don't have to see it, so what fucking ever.)
He also has changed the sheets without me one time in our whole relationship, which means I know he can do it, but somehow that hasn't like, continued.
In other whiny news my jaw hurts again today. I just took ibuprofen. It was fine until lunch, when I had to bite something. (Breakfast was apparently soft enough.) At the moment smiling hurts, which has literally never happened before in my life, so this is definitely something brand-new and unrelated to any minor weird problems I've had before. What the fuck, though, for real.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-20 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-20 02:25 pm (UTC)I'd expect this to be on both sides, if it were something like that-- my left side is totally unaffected. Even now, today, having eaten nothing yet and not aggravated it, but not having taken ibuprofen either, my left jaw hinge is normal and my right jaw hinge is slightly taut-feeling and warm to the touch. I feel like maybe there's an injury in there or something. It's weird.