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kyraneko:
penny-anna:
linguisticparadox:
penny-anna:
penny-anna:
Other arguments I imagine the Fellowship having:
1) Pippin professes atheism, argues so persuasively he somehow manages to get GANDALF to second guess himself for a split second
2) “what if we put the Ring in a catapult & launched it into Mount Doom from a distance”: dismissed as a serious plan very quickly due to high margin for error but the argument simmers for several days as Gandalf refuses to concede that it would work in theory. (Pippin also started this one.)
3) Who Started It: Legolas or Gimli edition
4) Who Started It: Merry or Pippin edition
5) Who ate the last *insert food item here* I know it was one of your four FESS UP (one time it was actually Gandalf, he never fessed up)
6) Legolas is mad at Gimli but whenever anyone asks why he just says ‘the dwarf knows what he did’ (Gimli hasn’t a clue)
7) who made Sam cry??
8) Relative attractiveness of beards
i dont want ‘who made sam cry to be a common argument’ but to be fair he cries a lot so the others might not even have done anything deliberately
Somebody made Sam cry one (1) time early on & after that every time he cries the entire company starts slinging accusations like there’s no tomorrow
Further thoughts:
1) although Pippin started the catapult argument the ppl who keep it going are Frodo and Boromir (both of whom were momentarily 100% down with it until they realised what a horrible idea it would be in practice, ie miss & the Ring is just lying about in Mordor for any orc to grab)
2) the beard argument:
pro-beards: gandalf, aragorn, boromir, gimli, pippin
anti-beards: legolas, merry, frodo, sam
it’s all fun and games till one of the hobbits calls beards ‘unsightly’ and Gimi shoots back ‘that’s a bit rich coming from someone with that much fOOT HAIR’ and after that it is fucking ON and once the dust settles certain people don’t speak to certain other people for like 3 days
Sam: *bursts into tears because idk he just does that sometimes*
Frodo: For fuck’s sake Sam just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
Sam, bawling: They don’t have any arms Mr. Frodo!
Pippin: isn’t a dragon a snake with arms
Sam: *thinks about that for a moment*
Sam: *bursts into tears all over again*
Frodo: sam please
If you think about it the Fellowship is basically just a road trip without the car.
… Having said that, I need a LOTR Road Trip AU where it’s the nine of them packed into a 1971 Ford Bronco, trying to get to Washington DC with the One Ring which is proof that President Sauron is guilty of High Crimes and Misdemeanors, while being chased by this biker gang in Sauron’s employ, hunted by corrupt Sheriff Saruman (Gandalf’s old high school classmate), and at some point in time losing the Ring to the monkey in a diaper that they found wandering around a shopping mall in Cleveland, Ohio and Frodo insisted on adopting.
Listen the first fanfic I ever read on the Internet was LotR fanfic based in part on this premise. Oh my god I don’t know if I could find it again. There was an ongoing series about how they were nightmare roommates in a modern setting, and then there was definitely a Road Trip segment, and
oh my god
oh my god it’s on AO3 of course it is.
I read them in 2004, while there were still being updates. Oh my god some things that should not have been forgotten were lost, and history became legend, and legend passed into myth, and for fuckin real of course it’s on AO3.
(Now we find out if I remembered wrong and there isn’t really a road trip section.)
(Your picture was not posted)
kyraneko:
penny-anna:
linguisticparadox:
penny-anna:
penny-anna:
Other arguments I imagine the Fellowship having:
1) Pippin professes atheism, argues so persuasively he somehow manages to get GANDALF to second guess himself for a split second
2) “what if we put the Ring in a catapult & launched it into Mount Doom from a distance”: dismissed as a serious plan very quickly due to high margin for error but the argument simmers for several days as Gandalf refuses to concede that it would work in theory. (Pippin also started this one.)
3) Who Started It: Legolas or Gimli edition
4) Who Started It: Merry or Pippin edition
5) Who ate the last *insert food item here* I know it was one of your four FESS UP (one time it was actually Gandalf, he never fessed up)
6) Legolas is mad at Gimli but whenever anyone asks why he just says ‘the dwarf knows what he did’ (Gimli hasn’t a clue)
7) who made Sam cry??
8) Relative attractiveness of beards
i dont want ‘who made sam cry to be a common argument’ but to be fair he cries a lot so the others might not even have done anything deliberately
Somebody made Sam cry one (1) time early on & after that every time he cries the entire company starts slinging accusations like there’s no tomorrow
Further thoughts:
1) although Pippin started the catapult argument the ppl who keep it going are Frodo and Boromir (both of whom were momentarily 100% down with it until they realised what a horrible idea it would be in practice, ie miss & the Ring is just lying about in Mordor for any orc to grab)
2) the beard argument:
pro-beards: gandalf, aragorn, boromir, gimli, pippin
anti-beards: legolas, merry, frodo, sam
it’s all fun and games till one of the hobbits calls beards ‘unsightly’ and Gimi shoots back ‘that’s a bit rich coming from someone with that much fOOT HAIR’ and after that it is fucking ON and once the dust settles certain people don’t speak to certain other people for like 3 days
Sam: *bursts into tears because idk he just does that sometimes*
Frodo: For fuck’s sake Sam just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
Sam, bawling: They don’t have any arms Mr. Frodo!
Pippin: isn’t a dragon a snake with arms
Sam: *thinks about that for a moment*
Sam: *bursts into tears all over again*
Frodo: sam please
If you think about it the Fellowship is basically just a road trip without the car.
… Having said that, I need a LOTR Road Trip AU where it’s the nine of them packed into a 1971 Ford Bronco, trying to get to Washington DC with the One Ring which is proof that President Sauron is guilty of High Crimes and Misdemeanors, while being chased by this biker gang in Sauron’s employ, hunted by corrupt Sheriff Saruman (Gandalf’s old high school classmate), and at some point in time losing the Ring to the monkey in a diaper that they found wandering around a shopping mall in Cleveland, Ohio and Frodo insisted on adopting.
Listen the first fanfic I ever read on the Internet was LotR fanfic based in part on this premise. Oh my god I don’t know if I could find it again. There was an ongoing series about how they were nightmare roommates in a modern setting, and then there was definitely a Road Trip segment, and
oh my god
oh my god it’s on AO3 of course it is.
I read them in 2004, while there were still being updates. Oh my god some things that should not have been forgotten were lost, and history became legend, and legend passed into myth, and for fuckin real of course it’s on AO3.
(Now we find out if I remembered wrong and there isn’t really a road trip section.)
(Your picture was not posted)
