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[personal profile] dragonlady7
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walburgablack replied to your post “went to my mom and dad’s last night for dinner. dad’s birthday. we had…”

*hugs* good for you, hon.

torrilin replied to your post “went to my mom and dad’s last night for dinner. dad’s birthday. we had…”

*hugs*

mific replied to your post “went to my mom and dad’s last night for dinner. dad’s birthday. we had…”

Brave of you to be honest with him. It’s really hard with family.

oh man, I don’t mean to be like, I should get Wokeness Points for this! I just thought I should put it out there, that like, these fights are a thing and I had to have one.

The downside isn’t that my relationship with him is in any danger– my family don’t tend to hold grudges or keep arguments going or anything. It’s just frustrating, because I don’t know that it did any good. He likes to argue, and sometimes he deliberately makes controversial points to try to draw someone out into an argument, and it was fascinating when I was like, 15, and honestly it was probably really good for me as a young person to experience that because by the time I got to college, Libertarian Bros would try it with me and I’d be like “listen you’re not even making your own point right, this is the argument you’re trying to use and I’ve heard it before and here’s how I’ve refuted it in the past but I’ve thought of like six more ways since, sit down I’m not done” and so I never made the mistake of dating an Edgy Libertarian Bro and actually probably semi-accidentally cockblocked a lot of them at parties I went to because I have always been loud and oblivious– and the awful side effect was that a lot of them became infatuated with me and I had no idea why, but.

How did I digress into my college days. I don’t know. They were a thing, and at the time I had a good time but I really did have this weird little ragtag band, mixed up of just-discovering-themselves lesbians, and wannabe-edgy-libertarian bros, who were sort of unhealthily fascinated with me, and i really hope they figured out what the fuck they actually wanted because it sure wasn’t me and I had no idea how to help them. ANyway. Anyway, men, go ahead and raise your daughters this way because it seems to work out.

Anyway– the downside is that it really doesn’t matter how well you argue with dad, he still does what he does. I still remember about 20 years ago I absolutely went for it and argued him to a standstill over gay marriage, I conclusively won that argument and he had nothing else to say, I had countered every single one of his points and i hadn’t even gotten mad about it, I absolutely won, and the next month I heard him say the same stupid fucking line about next they’ll be marrying dogs and I was like what even is the fucking point.

BIL is way better at this than me, by the way, and let it be a consolation to all of you– he’s out there fighting the good fight, being really friendly to Trump supporters and then sweetly, kindly, logically, mercilessly asking them just why it is that they believe the thing they do, he’s got his sources ready and he’s like but that argument is based on a fictional news story, in reality this very different thing happened, isn’t it counterproductive to form policy decisions based on fiction, why can’t we formulate our laws on real things that really happened instead?

Neither of us is making any difference, I feel like, but– we’re trying. It’s got to matter. I should try harder. I argued with BIL about it– being nice to these people isn’t working, we should just shun them– and he pointed out that, well, he’s the only person under 60 on the Farm Bureau, and a large number of his customers and people he needs to have professional relationships with are lifelong Republicans, so he really has no choice but to be nice, and anyway, he’s a white man, they’re going to listen to him. 

All you can do is try, I guess. 
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dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
dragonlady7

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