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dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/2MjejNr
vignette:
driving home. heavy traffic. sitting there at a light. bored. notice the car in front of me is a silver PT Cruiser just like the one my mom used to drive during her midlife crisis. It’s got a giant USMC sticker on the top of the rear windshield. Like, OK, I’m figuring “elderly veteran”, whatever, and then I roll up closer and realize there’s another sticker, and it’s the Calvin peeing on a thing sticker, and I’m like, “oh this’ll be good, what is it.”
And it’s so perfect. It’s Calvin peeing on the words “YOUR FEELINGS”. I’m like, this guy– this guy will 1000% lose his entire shit if anyone questions him in any way.
So I take a picture, because I figure that’s going to be a good caption for it. But the light changes, so I put my phone down and go back to, you know, driving my car, figuring I’ll write the caption on later.
I change lanes because traffic tends to back up in the right lane because there’s an exit coming up, and so I’m sitting there at the next light and everyone’s lights are down and someone’s talking. But like, really clearly, so like– I look around a little, trying to figure out who’s talking.
IT’S THE GUY, HE’S NEXT TO ME. Fortunately I figure that out before I turn my head or acknowledge him. “Did you take a picture?” he asks. “Were you taking a picture? Were you taking a picture of my stickers?”
I’m like what the fuck, bro. My music is kind of loud so I just ignore him like I couldn’t hear him. He starts snickering to himself but like, loud, though he doesn’t raise his voice any louder than the first thing he said. “I bet your feelings were hurt, huh! Your feelings were hurt!”
Bro. You are so upset right now that I took a picture of the *~provocative~* sticker on your car, and you want so hard for me to validate you by being offended at your whining. So I sang along to my song for a minute until it ended. (I was listening to Gossip, as it happens.)
The song ends. He says, into the quiet, “Which of my stickers was it that you were offended by, huh?”
That gets me to turn my head. “Oh, hi,” I said. “No, I thought your Calvin sticker was cute. Have a great day!” And the light changed, so I drove off.
And I posted the photo with the caption I’d originally intended, and also the validation of my experience.
This is a 100% SCIENCE FACT: Anyone with any kind of paraphernalia bearing a slogan about “your feelings” is suuuuuper sensitive about literally everything holy shit.
(Your picture was not posted)
vignette:
driving home. heavy traffic. sitting there at a light. bored. notice the car in front of me is a silver PT Cruiser just like the one my mom used to drive during her midlife crisis. It’s got a giant USMC sticker on the top of the rear windshield. Like, OK, I’m figuring “elderly veteran”, whatever, and then I roll up closer and realize there’s another sticker, and it’s the Calvin peeing on a thing sticker, and I’m like, “oh this’ll be good, what is it.”
And it’s so perfect. It’s Calvin peeing on the words “YOUR FEELINGS”. I’m like, this guy– this guy will 1000% lose his entire shit if anyone questions him in any way.
So I take a picture, because I figure that’s going to be a good caption for it. But the light changes, so I put my phone down and go back to, you know, driving my car, figuring I’ll write the caption on later.
I change lanes because traffic tends to back up in the right lane because there’s an exit coming up, and so I’m sitting there at the next light and everyone’s lights are down and someone’s talking. But like, really clearly, so like– I look around a little, trying to figure out who’s talking.
IT’S THE GUY, HE’S NEXT TO ME. Fortunately I figure that out before I turn my head or acknowledge him. “Did you take a picture?” he asks. “Were you taking a picture? Were you taking a picture of my stickers?”
I’m like what the fuck, bro. My music is kind of loud so I just ignore him like I couldn’t hear him. He starts snickering to himself but like, loud, though he doesn’t raise his voice any louder than the first thing he said. “I bet your feelings were hurt, huh! Your feelings were hurt!”
Bro. You are so upset right now that I took a picture of the *~provocative~* sticker on your car, and you want so hard for me to validate you by being offended at your whining. So I sang along to my song for a minute until it ended. (I was listening to Gossip, as it happens.)
The song ends. He says, into the quiet, “Which of my stickers was it that you were offended by, huh?”
That gets me to turn my head. “Oh, hi,” I said. “No, I thought your Calvin sticker was cute. Have a great day!” And the light changed, so I drove off.
And I posted the photo with the caption I’d originally intended, and also the validation of my experience.
This is a 100% SCIENCE FACT: Anyone with any kind of paraphernalia bearing a slogan about “your feelings” is suuuuuper sensitive about literally everything holy shit.
(Your picture was not posted)
