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dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/2synMYd
oh also we went to Target to buy a wedding card to give to the happy couple at this wedding we’re going to in not-Chicago tomorrow (it’s dude’s cousin’s son’s wedding, i’ve met the kid one time) and like.
ok first i needed a white cardigan or shrug or shawl or wrap, because i don’t have one, all my shit is black and wouldn’t go.
i found a cardigan, approximately tried it on, and grumpily looked around for a better one but that was it, whatever, fine. It’s cream, not white, and I don’t like the buttons, but it’ll do, I can wear it. It’ll be fine. So I was walking away. Dude kept poking around, though. And after a moment he came over to where I was standing contemplating the clutches, and was like “what about this one” and sure enough, had a short-sleeved cocoon-style white open cardigan that was much more to my taste and also not cream instead of white. Genius! Also it was five dollars cheaper than the initial, inferior cardigan. So score one for dude having eyeballs and persistence.
Then the cards. The cards! The cards were all like “Marriage, the most important thing two people can ever do in their human lives!”, or like, “advice on how to stay married!” or like, “you guys are so perfect for each other!” or like “I just know you’ll be happy forever and ever!” and like. I have never been married, OK? It never happened. It wasn’t important, we never did it. I have no advice for you. I’ve never met the bride. I don’t know how you are. What the fuck am I going to do with this card. No.
So I finally found one with some glitter but also a very understated “congratulations on your wedding I hope it all works out good” kind of message, so I was like, “THIS ONE WINS” and bought it. (Actually I verbatim said “hey this one doesn’t offend me!” and Dude concurred.)
Then we went to JoAnn’s and I got the rubber plants and such but I forgot, Dude also spotted a fantastic little end-cap display of iron-ons intended to be made into shirts for babies. “I’ve got my SASSY PANTS on,” said the one he picked up. We looked around the end of the end-cap, and there were ones intended to be matching iron-ons for mama and baby. One set said “Pint” and “half pint”, which I’ve seen. Very cute. Another said “Blessed Mama” and “Little Blessing.” (*hurk*) But the best one, I think, said “Me” and “Mini Me” because you know Mini Me is going to outgrow that shirt in four point three seconds, so the adult is going to be left with this mysterious shirt that just says “ME” on it, and I NEED to incorporate that into some kind of story, a grown-ass man doing yardwork or something in a grubby t-shirt that says “ME” on it and the POV character being like “what the fuck is your shirt” and maybe I’m never going to explain it, but you all will know, that’s where I got it.
(Your picture was not posted)
oh also we went to Target to buy a wedding card to give to the happy couple at this wedding we’re going to in not-Chicago tomorrow (it’s dude’s cousin’s son’s wedding, i’ve met the kid one time) and like.
ok first i needed a white cardigan or shrug or shawl or wrap, because i don’t have one, all my shit is black and wouldn’t go.
i found a cardigan, approximately tried it on, and grumpily looked around for a better one but that was it, whatever, fine. It’s cream, not white, and I don’t like the buttons, but it’ll do, I can wear it. It’ll be fine. So I was walking away. Dude kept poking around, though. And after a moment he came over to where I was standing contemplating the clutches, and was like “what about this one” and sure enough, had a short-sleeved cocoon-style white open cardigan that was much more to my taste and also not cream instead of white. Genius! Also it was five dollars cheaper than the initial, inferior cardigan. So score one for dude having eyeballs and persistence.
Then the cards. The cards! The cards were all like “Marriage, the most important thing two people can ever do in their human lives!”, or like, “advice on how to stay married!” or like, “you guys are so perfect for each other!” or like “I just know you’ll be happy forever and ever!” and like. I have never been married, OK? It never happened. It wasn’t important, we never did it. I have no advice for you. I’ve never met the bride. I don’t know how you are. What the fuck am I going to do with this card. No.
So I finally found one with some glitter but also a very understated “congratulations on your wedding I hope it all works out good” kind of message, so I was like, “THIS ONE WINS” and bought it. (Actually I verbatim said “hey this one doesn’t offend me!” and Dude concurred.)
Then we went to JoAnn’s and I got the rubber plants and such but I forgot, Dude also spotted a fantastic little end-cap display of iron-ons intended to be made into shirts for babies. “I’ve got my SASSY PANTS on,” said the one he picked up. We looked around the end of the end-cap, and there were ones intended to be matching iron-ons for mama and baby. One set said “Pint” and “half pint”, which I’ve seen. Very cute. Another said “Blessed Mama” and “Little Blessing.” (*hurk*) But the best one, I think, said “Me” and “Mini Me” because you know Mini Me is going to outgrow that shirt in four point three seconds, so the adult is going to be left with this mysterious shirt that just says “ME” on it, and I NEED to incorporate that into some kind of story, a grown-ass man doing yardwork or something in a grubby t-shirt that says “ME” on it and the POV character being like “what the fuck is your shirt” and maybe I’m never going to explain it, but you all will know, that’s where I got it.
(Your picture was not posted)
