fashion yikes
May. 4th, 2018 01:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/2Kzk1d7
So I’m going to a wedding in Chicago (ish… it turns out it’s really in Indiana?? ok whatever) in June and I decided that I Deserve a New Dress for this occasion since the last wedding I went to, I wore an old one and safety-pinned it to my bra and thought I was fine but in the photos holy shit my tits looked insane and nobody told me and I’m sort of lowkey horrified. Anyway!
I was figuring I’d find something from Torrid but nothing looked good, I hit a few of the other sites I’ve bought stuff from lately and was unimpressed, so I finally went to eShakti, which I’ve known about for literally a decade but never bought anything from. (And yes, I considered making something, but you know what, no, I have enough shit going on. No.)
So… I have a dress on order.
x
I don’t own anything green currently so it’ll be a nice change. It’s fancy, which means I’ll have to find occasions to wear it. I never wear shit that length but why the hell not give it a shot. In my teens I never wore short skirts, in my twenties I never wore long skirts, so I guess I’ll split the difference now.
I got a $35 credit for giving them my email address so it was like $40. I won’t complain too much about that. eShakti famously does all this customizable shit but it turns out their size chart is pretty close to my real measurements so we’ll see if that works out as-is.
I have pearl jewelry I can wear with it, and some opals too, so that’s sorted. But I don’t have any shoes that will suit. Everything’s either gross and worn-out, or black, or teal.
I ought to just buy something white and strappy anywhere shoes are sold but of course I really want to splash out on fancy shoes. I won’t, but aren’t these gorgeous?
Not gonna, those are Fluevogs, but… you know… if I were that kind of bitch… you know I could walk like eight miles in those and never stumble. Sigh. (I’ve been pining for the black and white paisley colorway of that shoe forever. Hush I’m a girl with needs.)
For real though, I should get white shoes with this dress, right? For June?
I mean, rules are for chumps, it literally doesn’t matter and whatever I do, someone will tell me I look cute, someone will gossip about me in the ladies’ room like who the fuck was that bitch, and it won’t matter either way. Nobody told me at the last wedding that my tits looked weird as fuck, nobody’ll say shit to me at this wedding. (I don’t know anyone at this wedding, it’s Dude’s cousin’s son, who I’ve met twice exactly. I know his grandma well, Aunt Ruta has us over all the time, and formally taught me to sew, and judges me hardcore all the time but she’s allowed to do that I’m cool with it.)
But like. I could wear nude heels? What the fuck are nude heels for? Does anyone really know?? Is there a rough guide to this shit? I have no idea.
Probably these, huh?
Except why the fuck don’t they come in 9.5, literally everyone wears a 9.5. God damn it, I don’t want to gamble on a 9…
I should just go to DSW shoe and try to find like… anything. I could wear metallic silver with that dress, or gold glitter, probably. I have some platform stiletto silver glitter sandals from my bestie’s wedding but I don’t think I feel like digging those out. They’d be fun, but, also, they were hell, she got married in a place with a cobblestone courtyard and they made us take pictures on the lawn and stilettos, bih, I almost died. Platform stilettos. I was lucky that there were an odd number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, so I got to go down the aisle on the arm of a girl I knew from high school, very sturdy and supportive and extremely entertained by my spending the entire rehearsal in flats pretending to stagger around to “practice” for my stiletto platforms. (I did not trip during the wedding, because that was not about me, but the rehearsal was basically The Me Show because I knew my audience: my audience was the bride, stone-cold sober and nervous. She thinks I’m hilarious, which is why we’ve been friends since 1995.)
ANYHOW i just know there’s a subset of y’all that like fashion, so I figured I’d share my rumination on this topic.
Also this is a great excuse to make myself a big fuckoff white silk-ribbon hair flower, right? I’ve got a book on making silk flowers, a 50-pack of alligator clips stashed somewhere, and just enough spare time maybe if I focus, and I’ve been meaning to make a hair flower of some kind since I bought those alligator clips in like 2010.
Ooh maybe I should braid a green ribbon through my hair and do a braid-crown updo with a big hair flower, that would be keen. Even better would be a huge sun hat but I have no idea if this wedding is outdoors and also I gotta get there on a plane and I don’t think I have time to learn how to make a fascinator, so.
(Your picture was not posted)
So I’m going to a wedding in Chicago (ish… it turns out it’s really in Indiana?? ok whatever) in June and I decided that I Deserve a New Dress for this occasion since the last wedding I went to, I wore an old one and safety-pinned it to my bra and thought I was fine but in the photos holy shit my tits looked insane and nobody told me and I’m sort of lowkey horrified. Anyway!
I was figuring I’d find something from Torrid but nothing looked good, I hit a few of the other sites I’ve bought stuff from lately and was unimpressed, so I finally went to eShakti, which I’ve known about for literally a decade but never bought anything from. (And yes, I considered making something, but you know what, no, I have enough shit going on. No.)
So… I have a dress on order.
x
I don’t own anything green currently so it’ll be a nice change. It’s fancy, which means I’ll have to find occasions to wear it. I never wear shit that length but why the hell not give it a shot. In my teens I never wore short skirts, in my twenties I never wore long skirts, so I guess I’ll split the difference now.
I got a $35 credit for giving them my email address so it was like $40. I won’t complain too much about that. eShakti famously does all this customizable shit but it turns out their size chart is pretty close to my real measurements so we’ll see if that works out as-is.
I have pearl jewelry I can wear with it, and some opals too, so that’s sorted. But I don’t have any shoes that will suit. Everything’s either gross and worn-out, or black, or teal.
I ought to just buy something white and strappy anywhere shoes are sold but of course I really want to splash out on fancy shoes. I won’t, but aren’t these gorgeous?
Not gonna, those are Fluevogs, but… you know… if I were that kind of bitch… you know I could walk like eight miles in those and never stumble. Sigh. (I’ve been pining for the black and white paisley colorway of that shoe forever. Hush I’m a girl with needs.)
For real though, I should get white shoes with this dress, right? For June?
I mean, rules are for chumps, it literally doesn’t matter and whatever I do, someone will tell me I look cute, someone will gossip about me in the ladies’ room like who the fuck was that bitch, and it won’t matter either way. Nobody told me at the last wedding that my tits looked weird as fuck, nobody’ll say shit to me at this wedding. (I don’t know anyone at this wedding, it’s Dude’s cousin’s son, who I’ve met twice exactly. I know his grandma well, Aunt Ruta has us over all the time, and formally taught me to sew, and judges me hardcore all the time but she’s allowed to do that I’m cool with it.)
But like. I could wear nude heels? What the fuck are nude heels for? Does anyone really know?? Is there a rough guide to this shit? I have no idea.
Probably these, huh?
Except why the fuck don’t they come in 9.5, literally everyone wears a 9.5. God damn it, I don’t want to gamble on a 9…
I should just go to DSW shoe and try to find like… anything. I could wear metallic silver with that dress, or gold glitter, probably. I have some platform stiletto silver glitter sandals from my bestie’s wedding but I don’t think I feel like digging those out. They’d be fun, but, also, they were hell, she got married in a place with a cobblestone courtyard and they made us take pictures on the lawn and stilettos, bih, I almost died. Platform stilettos. I was lucky that there were an odd number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, so I got to go down the aisle on the arm of a girl I knew from high school, very sturdy and supportive and extremely entertained by my spending the entire rehearsal in flats pretending to stagger around to “practice” for my stiletto platforms. (I did not trip during the wedding, because that was not about me, but the rehearsal was basically The Me Show because I knew my audience: my audience was the bride, stone-cold sober and nervous. She thinks I’m hilarious, which is why we’ve been friends since 1995.)
ANYHOW i just know there’s a subset of y’all that like fashion, so I figured I’d share my rumination on this topic.
Also this is a great excuse to make myself a big fuckoff white silk-ribbon hair flower, right? I’ve got a book on making silk flowers, a 50-pack of alligator clips stashed somewhere, and just enough spare time maybe if I focus, and I’ve been meaning to make a hair flower of some kind since I bought those alligator clips in like 2010.
Ooh maybe I should braid a green ribbon through my hair and do a braid-crown updo with a big hair flower, that would be keen. Even better would be a huge sun hat but I have no idea if this wedding is outdoors and also I gotta get there on a plane and I don’t think I have time to learn how to make a fascinator, so.
(Your picture was not posted)
