![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2H397di
The Mystery Beep has been going on all night and it has to be a smoke detector or something, it’s got to be, I’d sussed that pretty immediately, but. Well. We don’t. Know where it is. We own several, and none of them are installed in the correct place because every few months I try to put one there, a different one, this one won’t go off every time we boil water, it promises, but then, sure enough, we turn the stove on for literally any purpose, and it goes off and can’t be silenced, and we have to pull the batteries out and throw it into a drawer somewhere and try again, and at this point I’ve bought so many I just… stopped doing it.
Side note: smoke detectors must exist that do not just go off constantly all of the time. I have shopped around and compared reviews, and Amazon was like this one does not go off constantly all of the time!, hundreds of people on Amazon agreed, and I got suckered in and then it went off constantly all of the time. Somewhere in this world there surely exists a smoke detector that works for the intended purpose with few malfunctions, but I’m fucked if I can find it. (One went off at the farm during the baby’s nap, back in the day, because it was too humid, and let me tell you, I have never been so infuriated in my entire goddamn life.)
The smoke detector installation point is in our hallway just outside of our bedroom. The kitchen is around a corner in another room, with a ceiling equally as high, and a doorway between (but no door). There’s no reason for this, but I have literally just put a pot of water on the stove and when it came to a boil, the fucking smoke detector went off.
So. We’re idiot stupid people with no functioning smoke detector installed in the correct place, because our house is the size of a shoebox and we like to cook food in it instead of outside, and apparently that means we are supposed to just have a fire alarm going off at all times, and we’re just oversensitive wilting flowers who can’t handle that kind of aural assault. (Also: feature request, make a smoke detector with a button you can press that means not only ‘stop this noise’ but also ‘don’t start making this noise again right away because i want to go finish cooking dinner so could you take like an hour off’, because guess what, when you bring a pot of water to a boil to make pasta you have to keep boiling it for nine to eleven minutes, and having to shut the smoke detector off fifteen more times in that span goes beyond annoying into actually maddening.)
So it has to be one of the rejected smoke detectors, whose battery I guess I didn’t remove. For a while there was one on the coffee table, but it got tidied someplace.
I was sure I’d left it in the guest-bedroom, on the principle that if the guest-bedroom caught fire we’d be warned, but the beep isn’t coming from there, so the one in there must either really not have a battery or have died long ago. I lose track; I’ve bought so many smoke detectors over the years.
So, I guess, PSA, kids, don’t be like me, have a correctly installed smoke detector, and man the fuck up and deal with it going off fucking constantly because that’s just how it’s supposed to work. I am a terrible person who deserves to burn to death in her sleep because I don’t like being screamed at all the time.
… Maybe it’s in the basement? Maybe I put it down there to detect CO2, I’m scared as hell of that shit, as I should be.
(Your picture was not posted)
The Mystery Beep has been going on all night and it has to be a smoke detector or something, it’s got to be, I’d sussed that pretty immediately, but. Well. We don’t. Know where it is. We own several, and none of them are installed in the correct place because every few months I try to put one there, a different one, this one won’t go off every time we boil water, it promises, but then, sure enough, we turn the stove on for literally any purpose, and it goes off and can’t be silenced, and we have to pull the batteries out and throw it into a drawer somewhere and try again, and at this point I’ve bought so many I just… stopped doing it.
Side note: smoke detectors must exist that do not just go off constantly all of the time. I have shopped around and compared reviews, and Amazon was like this one does not go off constantly all of the time!, hundreds of people on Amazon agreed, and I got suckered in and then it went off constantly all of the time. Somewhere in this world there surely exists a smoke detector that works for the intended purpose with few malfunctions, but I’m fucked if I can find it. (One went off at the farm during the baby’s nap, back in the day, because it was too humid, and let me tell you, I have never been so infuriated in my entire goddamn life.)
The smoke detector installation point is in our hallway just outside of our bedroom. The kitchen is around a corner in another room, with a ceiling equally as high, and a doorway between (but no door). There’s no reason for this, but I have literally just put a pot of water on the stove and when it came to a boil, the fucking smoke detector went off.
So. We’re idiot stupid people with no functioning smoke detector installed in the correct place, because our house is the size of a shoebox and we like to cook food in it instead of outside, and apparently that means we are supposed to just have a fire alarm going off at all times, and we’re just oversensitive wilting flowers who can’t handle that kind of aural assault. (Also: feature request, make a smoke detector with a button you can press that means not only ‘stop this noise’ but also ‘don’t start making this noise again right away because i want to go finish cooking dinner so could you take like an hour off’, because guess what, when you bring a pot of water to a boil to make pasta you have to keep boiling it for nine to eleven minutes, and having to shut the smoke detector off fifteen more times in that span goes beyond annoying into actually maddening.)
So it has to be one of the rejected smoke detectors, whose battery I guess I didn’t remove. For a while there was one on the coffee table, but it got tidied someplace.
I was sure I’d left it in the guest-bedroom, on the principle that if the guest-bedroom caught fire we’d be warned, but the beep isn’t coming from there, so the one in there must either really not have a battery or have died long ago. I lose track; I’ve bought so many smoke detectors over the years.
So, I guess, PSA, kids, don’t be like me, have a correctly installed smoke detector, and man the fuck up and deal with it going off fucking constantly because that’s just how it’s supposed to work. I am a terrible person who deserves to burn to death in her sleep because I don’t like being screamed at all the time.
… Maybe it’s in the basement? Maybe I put it down there to detect CO2, I’m scared as hell of that shit, as I should be.
(Your picture was not posted)
