![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2n5g0FV:
pinknosprinkles:
caffeinatedspanishteaching:
prokopetz:
It’s probably not surprising that folks with executive dysfunction often have little difficulty getting stuff done when there’s someone around to tell us what to do and supervise us doing it. What’s perhaps more surprising is that it’s not necessarily due to fear of punishment: having a supervisor is effective even if the supervisor in question has no ability to actually compel obedience. Basically, “following direct orders” seems to be a totally separate executive pathway from “self-motivating”, and having trouble with the one doesn’t necessarily mean having trouble with the other.
Which, of course, is why you can end up with situations where your own self-care is garbage, but caring for your pet is totally fine: the benefit of having a supervisor ordering you around can be realised even if the party giving the orders is a cat.
Whoa…this, this is me
This is me. The other night I sat in my freezing car and couldn’t make myself go inside my apartment. I sat there going through emails, looking at my back door between answers. The entire time getting colder by the minute while my brain yelled, “GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!”
I finally mentioned what was happening on Facebook and my friend immediately replied telling me to get up and go inside. Suddenly? It was easy to do that. Suddenly it made sense to answer emails where it was warm.
I have a related thing where if someone is doing the work along with me, that’s perfectly good motivation. I can follow someone to a place and do as they’re doing. And if I have a problem making a decision, I can say, “do you think this or that” and if they say “that” and I really wanted them to say “this”, I often can still make myself do “this”, but I wouldn’t have known I wanted “this” if they hadn’t said “that”. [When I’m not feeling well, I will constantly worry that they were right for the rest of the time that “this” exists, but. Let’s not go there.]
I can get so much done on the farm if it’s either work alongside other people or work that’s been divvied up. “By 4pm we need X, Y, Z, A, B, and C. I’m happy to do X, A, B, C, which leaves Y and Z for you.” “I can do Y and Z no problem, and hey I could probably cram B in there too if I did it between them.” “Oh that’d be great! Let’s do that, then.” And sometimes if it’s too many things I have to text my sister (let’s be real it’s always just me and her) and say “what was I doing between X and Z again” and she might say “no no, Y and Z, you’re doing B too, I have a thing to add to B and it’ll be even better I’ll bring it by in like 20” and I’m like “oh whoops well I already did X” “phew i didn’t really want to do X anyway” and it’s like– totally different ballgame from when I’m alone, where I won’t even be able to make that initial list. I’d be lucky to get Z or A done, let alone all the rest. I’d forget about Y up until too late, I’d never think of B in the first place…
I just can’t be alone, I need too much feedback from other people. I feel like this wouldn’t be a problem in a society where people lived in larger family groupings, but in the 20th century on up we’re expected to be standalone entities.
I am a hard worker, but I can’t prioritize my own tasks, I can’t come up with abstract things, I can’t keep up my own motivation like that. These aren’t shortcomings, that’s just how I’m wired. In the right situation, it’s not even a problem.
I don’t need a boss. But I can’t be alone either.
(Your picture was not posted)
pinknosprinkles:
caffeinatedspanishteaching:
prokopetz:
It’s probably not surprising that folks with executive dysfunction often have little difficulty getting stuff done when there’s someone around to tell us what to do and supervise us doing it. What’s perhaps more surprising is that it’s not necessarily due to fear of punishment: having a supervisor is effective even if the supervisor in question has no ability to actually compel obedience. Basically, “following direct orders” seems to be a totally separate executive pathway from “self-motivating”, and having trouble with the one doesn’t necessarily mean having trouble with the other.
Which, of course, is why you can end up with situations where your own self-care is garbage, but caring for your pet is totally fine: the benefit of having a supervisor ordering you around can be realised even if the party giving the orders is a cat.
Whoa…this, this is me
This is me. The other night I sat in my freezing car and couldn’t make myself go inside my apartment. I sat there going through emails, looking at my back door between answers. The entire time getting colder by the minute while my brain yelled, “GET UP! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!”
I finally mentioned what was happening on Facebook and my friend immediately replied telling me to get up and go inside. Suddenly? It was easy to do that. Suddenly it made sense to answer emails where it was warm.
I have a related thing where if someone is doing the work along with me, that’s perfectly good motivation. I can follow someone to a place and do as they’re doing. And if I have a problem making a decision, I can say, “do you think this or that” and if they say “that” and I really wanted them to say “this”, I often can still make myself do “this”, but I wouldn’t have known I wanted “this” if they hadn’t said “that”. [When I’m not feeling well, I will constantly worry that they were right for the rest of the time that “this” exists, but. Let’s not go there.]
I can get so much done on the farm if it’s either work alongside other people or work that’s been divvied up. “By 4pm we need X, Y, Z, A, B, and C. I’m happy to do X, A, B, C, which leaves Y and Z for you.” “I can do Y and Z no problem, and hey I could probably cram B in there too if I did it between them.” “Oh that’d be great! Let’s do that, then.” And sometimes if it’s too many things I have to text my sister (let’s be real it’s always just me and her) and say “what was I doing between X and Z again” and she might say “no no, Y and Z, you’re doing B too, I have a thing to add to B and it’ll be even better I’ll bring it by in like 20” and I’m like “oh whoops well I already did X” “phew i didn’t really want to do X anyway” and it’s like– totally different ballgame from when I’m alone, where I won’t even be able to make that initial list. I’d be lucky to get Z or A done, let alone all the rest. I’d forget about Y up until too late, I’d never think of B in the first place…
I just can’t be alone, I need too much feedback from other people. I feel like this wouldn’t be a problem in a society where people lived in larger family groupings, but in the 20th century on up we’re expected to be standalone entities.
I am a hard worker, but I can’t prioritize my own tasks, I can’t come up with abstract things, I can’t keep up my own motivation like that. These aren’t shortcomings, that’s just how I’m wired. In the right situation, it’s not even a problem.
I don’t need a boss. But I can’t be alone either.
(Your picture was not posted)
