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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2pz1fXZ:
jemmaprophet said: This is a wretched situation – but I have to sideye The Dude a little bit if he isn’t at least considering the issue. If he loves you, and hopefully he does, he should want you to stay healthy. And that means insurance and doing what it takes to get you onto it. Though with what you’re earning, I’m shocked you don’t qualify for Medicaid?
I *do* qualify, if I can jump thru the hoops. If I marry him, though, I don’t, and won’t have any option. His job does not provide valid insurance, they’re outside NYS and so their plan doesn’t have any providers within 300 miles of us.
So I can’t marry him and still have access to health insurance; I’d have to purchase it unsubsidized on the exchange. Which, presumably, he could afford, but. Our finances are inextricably entwined, and have been for a long time, and for many years I supported *him*, so I refuse to be guilty about it now, but I am always low-grade aware that I contribute less than a quarter of the income to this household, and spend more than he does (all that driving…), and so by now surely he’s paid back all the cash I fronted him early in our relationship and much more than that, but I’m still uncomfortable about it a ltitle bit.
About a decade ago is when we last discussed getting married, and he said no, and at another point I asked him to consider it just for insurance, but it wouldn’t have helped. So, I seem not to have explained that properly before, but there’s a long history here. He does want what’s best for me now; his past apparent belief that I’d freeloader was a solid dozen years ago.
He also refused to list me as a beneficiary on his life insurance back then, but apparently changed his mind at some point and seemed insulted when I was surprised.
I don’t always know what his deal is. But I do know we have joint retirement and savings accounts, and I put money in those early on but lately, all the contributions are him.
He’s not coming across well in these stories, I guess. I don’t think i’m expressing myself at all well overall, ugh.
BUT, I did get the letter I needed from my supervisor (I couldn’t ask out loud, but I emailed him and he’s used enough to me that he didn’t seem to think it was that weird), so I can hopefully complete my application to the state for subsidized insurance, and hopefully, hopefully, at least get that taken care of.
jemmaprophet said: This is a wretched situation – but I have to sideye The Dude a little bit if he isn’t at least considering the issue. If he loves you, and hopefully he does, he should want you to stay healthy. And that means insurance and doing what it takes to get you onto it. Though with what you’re earning, I’m shocked you don’t qualify for Medicaid?
I *do* qualify, if I can jump thru the hoops. If I marry him, though, I don’t, and won’t have any option. His job does not provide valid insurance, they’re outside NYS and so their plan doesn’t have any providers within 300 miles of us.
So I can’t marry him and still have access to health insurance; I’d have to purchase it unsubsidized on the exchange. Which, presumably, he could afford, but. Our finances are inextricably entwined, and have been for a long time, and for many years I supported *him*, so I refuse to be guilty about it now, but I am always low-grade aware that I contribute less than a quarter of the income to this household, and spend more than he does (all that driving…), and so by now surely he’s paid back all the cash I fronted him early in our relationship and much more than that, but I’m still uncomfortable about it a ltitle bit.
About a decade ago is when we last discussed getting married, and he said no, and at another point I asked him to consider it just for insurance, but it wouldn’t have helped. So, I seem not to have explained that properly before, but there’s a long history here. He does want what’s best for me now; his past apparent belief that I’d freeloader was a solid dozen years ago.
He also refused to list me as a beneficiary on his life insurance back then, but apparently changed his mind at some point and seemed insulted when I was surprised.
I don’t always know what his deal is. But I do know we have joint retirement and savings accounts, and I put money in those early on but lately, all the contributions are him.
He’s not coming across well in these stories, I guess. I don’t think i’m expressing myself at all well overall, ugh.
BUT, I did get the letter I needed from my supervisor (I couldn’t ask out loud, but I emailed him and he’s used enough to me that he didn’t seem to think it was that weird), so I can hopefully complete my application to the state for subsidized insurance, and hopefully, hopefully, at least get that taken care of.
