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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2mcW4vD:
bell-park:
autisticgayrey:
How many posts about relationship advice on this site is written by ppl whose only experience with relationships is reading fanfiction
I keep complimenting girls on their cerulean orbs but it’s not working, what am I doing wrong
I get the joke and it’s cute and all but real talk, when I was in high school I used to give fucking bomb-ass love advice, I was so good at it I almost started an advice column by popular demand. Shit, I broke up with my older sister’s first boyfriend for her when he handled her attempts badly. I did such a good job too, they even managed to part friends. (she d o d g e d a b u l l e t but let’s not get into that.)
Here’s the thing though: I was completely aroace (I didn’t know what that meant but in hindsight I really genuinely was) until I was out of high school. I didn’t even know how to have those feelings. Those parts of me just hadn’t– happened. To say I had no experience in these sorts of things understates the point. I wasn’t just inexperienced, I had zero frame of reference, and didn’t even want one. (I wanted to, I sure did, I wished I wanted things, but I had no idea how to make that work.)
(I’m demi, it works out, which looks the same from some angles and very different from others.)
But I understood how they worked and how other people had them. I knew damn well that me not feeling it didn’t mean that other people didn’t. You don’t have to live everything to know what’s up. Sure, you gotta still take people’s firsthand experiences into account and all, but you may well be able to understand the essence of the thing perfectly clearly, and be able to use that to help someone.
I know it’s easy to laugh at fifteen-year-old virgins writing love advice posts but come on, lighten up: I was super good at it when I was a fifteen-year-old virgin, and while I was also a melodramatic little shit, I also was precisely the same person intrinsically that I am now, so, can we ease up on teenage girls a little. I already knew a lot of the stuff I still know, I just had less observed data to back it up with. Doesn’t mean I couldn’t formulate a valid opinion.
The sex scenes I wrote at that point in my development, though… well, let’s just say I’m glad there were no internet fanfiction archives yet so nothing of that period survives. phew.
bell-park:
autisticgayrey:
How many posts about relationship advice on this site is written by ppl whose only experience with relationships is reading fanfiction
I keep complimenting girls on their cerulean orbs but it’s not working, what am I doing wrong
I get the joke and it’s cute and all but real talk, when I was in high school I used to give fucking bomb-ass love advice, I was so good at it I almost started an advice column by popular demand. Shit, I broke up with my older sister’s first boyfriend for her when he handled her attempts badly. I did such a good job too, they even managed to part friends. (she d o d g e d a b u l l e t but let’s not get into that.)
Here’s the thing though: I was completely aroace (I didn’t know what that meant but in hindsight I really genuinely was) until I was out of high school. I didn’t even know how to have those feelings. Those parts of me just hadn’t– happened. To say I had no experience in these sorts of things understates the point. I wasn’t just inexperienced, I had zero frame of reference, and didn’t even want one. (I wanted to, I sure did, I wished I wanted things, but I had no idea how to make that work.)
(I’m demi, it works out, which looks the same from some angles and very different from others.)
But I understood how they worked and how other people had them. I knew damn well that me not feeling it didn’t mean that other people didn’t. You don’t have to live everything to know what’s up. Sure, you gotta still take people’s firsthand experiences into account and all, but you may well be able to understand the essence of the thing perfectly clearly, and be able to use that to help someone.
I know it’s easy to laugh at fifteen-year-old virgins writing love advice posts but come on, lighten up: I was super good at it when I was a fifteen-year-old virgin, and while I was also a melodramatic little shit, I also was precisely the same person intrinsically that I am now, so, can we ease up on teenage girls a little. I already knew a lot of the stuff I still know, I just had less observed data to back it up with. Doesn’t mean I couldn’t formulate a valid opinion.
The sex scenes I wrote at that point in my development, though… well, let’s just say I’m glad there were no internet fanfiction archives yet so nothing of that period survives. phew.
