dragonlady7 | Nov. 12th, 2021

Nov. 12th, 2021

problems

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so in like 2013 or 2014, i was lobbying my job to get an Etsy.

like a fucking dumbass, i used my work email to sign up for an account there, but my work email was one of those dumb-forward things that just goes straight to a gmail account.

my personal gmail account.

so when i set up the work etsy shop, and then signed it over to them once it was going and they understood what i meant, somehow it’s still associated with that dumb forward, and so if I want to sign up for Etsy for myself as a customer, it won’t let me, because I already have an account, even though the shop is now associated with a different email I don’t have access to. That’s how you log in, that’s where the notification emails go; none of it is my email now.

Worst of all, and this somehow didn’t happen before but is happening with my new phone, if I look at any listings on Etsy, not logged-in, on my personal phone, they now show up in the browsing history of the Work Etsy that is not me. Again, I am not and never have been logged into Etsy on my personal phone browser. But I’m logged into Gmail on that phone. And so Google “knows” who I am, and very transparently is tracking what I look at.

(Yes, this is why there are titties on my work screen at work. Sue me I was looking at lingerie. A girl has needs.)

So I get that I need to install Firefox on my phone and put fucking everything into fucking containers, I grok it, that’s fine, but.

I would actually like to be able to shop on Etsy, as a human person. I mean mostly it’s a trashfire at this point, but. Sometimes. Sometimes a person sees a thing and is like “ooh shiny”.

But this has just driven home to me that I don’t seem to be able to have any way at all to divorce my personal Gmail account, which is not now and never was involved in that Etsy shop, from the commercial Etsy login.

I cannot even check out as a guest, it forces me to log in as work, which then I cannot use because that’s not my credit card on file and my boss would not be understanding of my need for whatever shiny thing it is. (Your picture was not posted)

Iorveth/Roche, Faengil, meet death sitting

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I couldn’t think of any warnings for this chapter. it’s Iorveth being tired and feeling old. With a side of Reappearing Trashy (With Love) Romance novels, and Faengil continues to be Baby.

Feel like I’ve posted this snippet before but now it’s part of a whole chapter that’s on AO3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/35008744/chapters/87386494

“What if we say the wrong thing,” Faengil answered, half under his breath. “What if someone says something so offensive we have to respond and then it’s our fault. Why did I insist on coming here? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.”

“Language, darling,” Iorveth said, feigning sharpness, though of course they were speaking Hen Llinge and no one would know the difference. “It’s all right.”

“Don’t call me that,” Faengil grumbled; Iorveth had used a standard endearment and it was precisely the sort of thing a boy Faengil’s age would object to.

Well, vernín. He’d called him vernín, and Vernon Roche, standing a few paces away, had turned his head and was frowning at him. Now that Iorveth considered it, it was just barely plausible that Roche’s personal name was somebody’s misspelling of an overheard Hen Llinge endearment, and he frowned back at Roche as he tried to decide how he could possibly ask him about it. He’d noticed how close the phonemes were before, of course, in bed, and had called Roche by the endearment to be funny, but in the cold light of day it was slightly more jarring.

Roche crossed the intervening several paces. “Did you call me?” he asked.

“No,” Ioveth said. Faengil had relaxed very slightly, and Iorveth realized the boy now considered Roche a comforting presence. What a world this was.

“Oh,” Roche said, and scowled. Iorveth let the awkward moment stretch out, suddenly rather enjoying it. There was just something so delightful about Vernon Roche’s expression of discomfort, when you had him on the back foot. It made any social setting much more entertaining to navigate. (Your picture was not posted)

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well. i’ve been awake since 3am, so we’ll really see how today goes.

The family holidays situation hasn’t entirely been resolved. It’s possible I have not communicated that well after all? I verified through my collection of online photos that we last were together for Christmas in an even-numbered year in 2012 (Farmkid did not yet exist), so my assertion that it’s going on for a decade that we’ve had the current pattern is not unfounded. But my older sister isn’t entirely nuts for having failed to notice that was the pattern; I know i’ve said many times that I’m on an every other year schedule, but it is perfectly likely, in a family this size, that my sister has never actually heard me say it, or noticed when I did, and so it’s not wildly insane that she hadn’t realized that it wasn’t coincidental.

(I spent 2013 without family, in Rochester with BFF. I spent 2014 with Dude’s mom. 2015 we all got together at the farm. 2016, Dude’s mom. 2017, we all got together in Maryland. 2018, Dude’s mom. (I believe Middle-Little joined me, either in 2014 or 2016, because Mom and Dad went down to Older Sister’s without her one year, and I think OS lived in Georgia still at that point. Don’t recall when the move to Maryland happened.) 2019, I spent at the farm, and Older Sister did not join us and I do not recall the details. 2020, nobody saw anybody (except I did see Dude’s mom), and Dad died and it was the fucking worst.)

So anyway. For Older Sister’s MIL, there’s the stats– whatever else they’ve done, Older Sister has spent less than 50% of the last 10 Christmases with her family. Which was what OS was remembering; she felt she’d offered her MIL at least half of the opportunities, and if she hasn’t spent that many holidays with them it is because she refused for one reason or another, and so it’s really not fair to count those against the total. (MIL is wildly jealous because she moved closer to them to see them more, and then my father died suddenly and they’ve come up to visit Mom three times in a year. I can see her wanting to make sure she gets a chance with them but come the fuck on.)

Anyway, Older Sister called to apologize for springing the change on me, but explained that the travel’s not going to work out, and I said well i can do Christmas on New Year’s at your place if you’d rather, OR I can do Christmas on Christmas at FS’s and not see you, so that still hasn’t been resolved. (If everyone else is also coming for New Year’s I’ll do that one, i’d rather see everyone.)

I’ve had several lovely bits of advice to forget everyone else and do what makes me happy, and while I do appreciate this and totally get where it’s coming from, I should specify here that my family is the main source of joy in my life, and for my entire life the highlight of every year has been whatever time i’ve been able to spend with as many of my siblings as possible, at the holidays or whenever. So unfortunately forgetting everyone else and doing what makes me happy are mutually one hundred percent exclusive. I completely understand why that’s not the case for everyone, nor should it be. But I very earnestly want to see as many of my siblings and niblings as possible this end-of-year, however, whenever, and wherever that happens.

Anyway. I feel super gross today but I did get a lot of unrelenting cat snuggles in my insomnia, which I appreciate. i did not make any art but I worked a little bit on several projects, and made two scraps of flannel into makeup-removing washcloths, and yesterday I folded some fabric and marked where I’m going ot cut it but did not cut it, and. Maybe I can make myself do something this weekend, maybe I’ll actually like. Make some art and feel alive.

I should mention too that writing doesn’t seem to count, that’s been going just fine and is satisfyingly progressing, it just doesn’t seem to scratch the Make Something itch, so. Anyway at least I have that, I’ll be grateful for it.

OH AND. Mom took Farmkid up to Grandpa’s grave for Veteran’s Day and HE HAS A STONE NOW!! It’s lovely, a regulation stone, has his service record on it (Vietnam and Persian Gulf), mentions his Bronze Star (for valor, in Vietnam), and for some reason they wouldn’t let mom put an ampersand in his epitaph, which was supposed to say loving & loved but instead reads in its entirety A GOOD MAN LOVING LOVED

which like i guess gets the point across but we’re gonna go up and Sharpie a comma in there at least. (Your picture was not posted)

information

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bigfatscience http://bigfatscience.tumblr.com/post/130218043930:

Most people believe that a person’s body weight is a direct reflection of their eating and exercise habits. If Sue weighs more than Etsuko, then it must be the case that Sue eats more and is less active than Etsuko. If Sue just ate “normally” and got “enough” exercise, then she too would be thin!

But this behavioral formula for weight loss can only work if body weight is a predominantly controllable characteristic. It is not http://www.nature.com/nm/journal/v10/n6/abs/nm0604-563.html.

Large-scale studies of families http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2336075, including twins who have been reared apart, reveal that fully 70% of individual variance in body weight can be explained by genetics, a degree of heritability commensurate with traits like height. This means that most of the population’s variance in body weight is determined by individual differences in genetic heritage, not individual differences in behavior.

Furthermore, although environmental factors like greater availability of calorie-dense foods, increasing portion sizes, and less active work-lives may explain recent weight gains across the entire American population, these same large-scale studies of families reveal that some people are genetically more susceptible to such (generally uncontrollable by the individual) environmental factors. Thus, many experts conclude that weight is a largely genetic trait that is highly responsive to the environment.

Once genes and the environment interact to settle a person at a given body weight, automatic, homeostatic biological processes http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2605663/ work to maintain it as a minimum body weight – or more specifically, a minimum fat volume – within a relatively narrow range. Decreases in energy intake, such as those proscribed by weight loss plans, prompt a cascade of biological changes that resist weight loss. These include shifts in appetite-regulatory hormones that increase subjective appetite and changes in metabolism that reduce energy expenditure, which can persist up to a year after weight loss occurs http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22029981.

Pitted against these genetic, environmental, biological, and psychosocial factors, is it any wonder that long-term weight-loss is physiologically stressful http://bigfatscience.tumblr.com/post/123173438855/dieting-causes-unhealthy-stress, and virtually unattainable http://bigfatscience.tumblr.com/post/121203518965/there-is-little-scientific-support-for-the-notion for the vast majority of fat people http://bigfatscience.tumblr.com/post/125381767855/is-it-even-possible-for-fat-people-to-reach-a?

References:

Friedman, J.M. (2004). Modern science versus the stigma of obesity. Nature Medicine, 10, 563-569.

Keesey, R. E., & Powley, T. L. (2008). Body energy homeostasis. Appetite, 51, 442-445.

Stunkard, A. J., Harris, J. R., Pedersen, N. L., & McClearn, G. E. (1990). The body-mass index of twins who have been reared apart. New England Journal of Medicine, 322, 1483-1487.

Sumithran, P., Prendergast, L. A., Delbridge, E., Purcell, K., Shulkes, A., Kriketos, A. et al. (2011). Long-term persistence of hormonal adaptations to weight loss. New England Journal of Medicine, 365, 1597-1604.