dragonlady7 | Aug. 26th, 2020

Aug. 26th, 2020

metz/lambert

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minific: at least they manage to agree on lambert

“Well, it is a matter of blood, but it’s not blood-rage,” Aiden sighs. He’s been holding Lambert by the shoulders as his struggles to rejoin the since-ended fray get more lethargic. “He just gets stubborn when he’s like this.”

“M’fine,” Lambert slurs, and attempts to shove at Aiden again. At this point, it’s more like a bleary pat to smear yet more of his own blood on Aiden’s face. “C’n keep– keep goin’.”

“Yes, yes. I know that’s what you think, Lam-boy,” Aiden answers with a long-suffering patience. “But that’s because you’re delirious from the blood loss.”

That only serves to renew Lambert’s struggles, and with more coherency than he’s had since they managed to first run him down, he manages to spit a thoroughly defiant “M’not delir’ous from blood loss. I’m– I’m delir’ous from blood win.”

Aiden chokes on his own high, keening laugh. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Keira huffs and finally just casts Somne. Lambert slumps in Aiden’s grip, but the man has to scramble to keep his bearing with it, being too busy staring at her wide-eyed.

“You just swore,” he marvels, with the same sort of obnoxious tone she’d heard from her own time in schooling.

Keira rolls her eyes and directs Aiden and her charge in the direction of her makeshift operating table. “There’s a difference between having common decorum and being a school-mistress, Aiden. Now, let’s be started.”

happy birthday to me!, the witcher

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Dang I haven’t posted any fic in a while. Well, I’ve been working on this one a while.

As a gift to myself and the world, I have finally posted the thing she-who-won’t-be-Tumblr-tagged and I have been working on. (It’s two separate stories, one by each of us, but it’s the first time really that I’ve worked collaboratively and I’m pleased to say that I have only slightly been a ferocious defensive jerk about it and mostly I have managed to behave myself so never say an old dog can’t learn new tricks if the teacher is patient enough with the dog’s foibles!)

So, my half of it is called Learning Experiences and is Geralt coming home from the Path for the first time. And Anoke’s half of it is baby Lambert arriving at Kaer Morhen and, as is his wont, being super angry about stuff. There’s not much crossover here in this first chapter (Geralt hasn’t met Lambert yet) but we’re just getting warmed up, have faith.

so– my installment: Learning Experiences https://archiveofourown.org/works/26121523

and Anoke’s, where the crossover part begins in the second chapter, is The Path To The Trials https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895626, and is a direct continuation of Lambert’s acquisition via the Law of Surprise https://archiveofourown.org/works/24355231.

Vesemir clapped Geralt gently on the arm. “Good to see you again, Little Wolf.” And then he laughed. “I can’t call you that any longer! You can look me in the eye. Just Wolf, then, I suppose.”

“I suppose,” Geralt said, smiling again to think of it; Vesemir also had always seemed a mountain to him, but they were within a finger’s width of the same height now.

“Well,” Vesemir said. “I’ll be glad to have a drink with you tonight.” He clapped his shoulder again, and moved on down the hallway.

you know that

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Do I buy myself Ethical Trousers from a Woman-Owned Business

when the size chart goes up to something like six inches smaller than my waist measurement but the company owner, when i wrote to ask if they had any plans to expand the range, assured me the largest size would probably fit me and she’d waive the restock fee if it didn’t

(and no, they’re not planning to expand the size range, she’d love to, it’s not possible)

or do i buy myself some pants that come in my size and that I could exchange for two or even three sizes up if they don’t fit, from Some Fast Fashion Large Company that makes multiple pairs of pants in my size and beyond and also is having a sale

shrug emoji

fuck the sustainable fashion industry they are all like this

(for the record, the average American woman’s waist size is 37.5″ and mine is about 44″ most days so I am not exactly a huge statistical outlier clamoring for unreasonable accomodations here but even if I was, for real, fuck this.)

(also for the record every one of these ethical fashion companies offers a 000 size. i have not researched what proportion of adult american women have a twenty-four inch waist but this does seem surprising to me.)

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glumshoe https://glumshoe.tumblr.com/post/625936828433858560:

curiousobsession101 https://curiousobsession101.tumblr.com/post/625928772087152640:

glumshoe https://glumshoe.tumblr.com/post/625919799212539904:

draconym https://draconym.tumblr.com/post/625917879149379584:

glumshoe https://glumshoe.tumblr.com/post/625917241248071680:

hot take but I think it’s probably OK to eat your boyfriend if he’s in the final stage of his lifecycle and has fulfilled his reproductive obligation by fertilizing your eggs and is going to die soon anyway, if eating him provides you with necessary nourishment that you then use in producing the maximum number of healthy viable offspring

No!!! Just because your boyfriend is in the final stage of his lifecycle doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other life plans!!! If he hasn’t offered himself as a nuptial gift it’s entirely possible that he might mate again someday, so who are you to decide his reproductive goals are fulfilled!!! You need to obtain your boyfriend’s consent before you cannibalize him!!!!!

ladies if he doesn’t throw himself into your fangs after sex he just doesn’t care about you

OP is an Australian redback spider specifically.

stop doxxing me

bebeocho, snoutbeetle, replying to replies, the witcher, keira metz, fic snippet

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exrayspex https://exrayspex.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “magic boobs” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627426436984209408/magic-boobs

this is delightful oh my god. keira is def familiar with the whole boobs trying to escape through the armholes of your sleeveless shirt thing and she would not stand for it!

sonnetsandswingouts https://sonnetsandswingouts.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “magic boobs” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627426436984209408/magic-boobs

LOVE the premise, I always look at those kinds of necklines and shudder to think of the sunburn.

bebeocho https://bebeocho.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “magic boobs” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627426436984209408/magic-boobs

i would just like to say that even though i am woefully behind on Meet Death Sitting, i really enjoyed both these snippets very very much. that first one made me emotional (Lambert, baby!! :’(( ). also, GOD i wish i had magic that could keep my tits up

LOL thanks yes– I have become obsessed with Keira’s magic invisible bralette. I say this as a certified Big Titty Bitch (who, TMI, is currently dealing with how at a certain size in the summer you just always have that bit where skin’s gotta overlap and if you don’t have The Perfect Bra at all times that’s gonna get chafed and then it won’t heal? Mega Fucking Bummer)– all I ever do with summer fashions is look wistfully at their lack of bra coverage (WHY ONE-SHOULDER WHY FUCK U WHO CAN WEAR A SINGLE-TIT BRA THAT MAKES NO SENSE), and all those great scraps of lace they call bras that all the skinny girls get to wear, and like, wistful sigh wouldn’t that be amazing, anyway, back to my Glamorise old lady sports bra that goes to my collarbones cuz it’s the only thing i own that doesn’t leave overlap to chafe.

(witch hazel helps, word to the wise, just always be applying witch hazel to all skin, in all seasons, this is how i live, bonus you can put some rose water in it if you don’t like the smell, it’s in the indian food aisle and works basically exactly the same)

On this note however, I have found myself (it is my birthday, I am indulging myself) enmired in yet another Keira story, which is the follow-on from What Mages Are Like where she goes to Yennefer for advice on how best to give a Witcher what he really wants in bed (namely, The Strap), which was only ever a porny side idea I’d sort of abandoned, and yet, Keira walks into Yennefer’s office and all Yennefer can do is think about improvements to the invisible-bralette spell.

(I don’t write enough f/f and listen I have needs)

Keira gave the room a wary, surreptitious, and sensible once-over as she came in, and dropped into the chair with a force that should have sent her breasts right out of her so-called shirt, but they didn’t move. Yennefer itched to pick the spell apart. It would be so much more distracting, she thought, if the spell were designed to allow for some movement, like a looser-fitting breastband– perhaps enough movement that the nipples nearly showed but not quite– but they were held firmly.

A shame.

snoutbeetle https://snoutbeetle.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “fic snippet” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627362244799397888/fic-snippet

Oooo, I’d really like to see more of this!

bittylildragon https://bittylildragon.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “magic boobs” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627426436984209408/magic-boobs

I want more Keira/Lambert from you :D

why thank you both! it is suffering currently because I realized at a genuinely astonishing eighteen THOUSAND words in that I was writing Lambert as a new face model superimposed over Geralt Is A Doormat and that wasn’t going to work, so I’ve had to go and rewrite a bunch of it, but. I am committed now, I guess.

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lookninjas https://lookninjas.tumblr.com/post/627379130869121024/968-one-day-we-tell-ourselves-we-tell-each-other :

968.

One day, we tell ourselves we tell each other too one day it’ll all be back to normal again and maybe it will, you know or come fairly close but honestly won’t it be so strange the day it does? We won’t know what to do with ourselves, with normal when we get it back. It’ll just be strange.

exrayspex, clotpoleofthelord, replies, listen it's my birthday and i'll reply if i want to, the witcher

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aisatsana441 https://aisatsana441.tumblr.com/ replied to your post

“replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627528231357120512/replying-to-replies-with-bonus-boob-centric-fic

Happy birthday!!! Despite the boob chafing, I hope you’re having an awesome day and doing something nice to celebrate!

Oh it’s healed now, but last week had some moments. I am celebrating by writing boob-centric femmeslash, LOL. Later we might get takeout. I would blame the pandemic but honestly that’s sort of my ideal night out anyway.

sonnetsandswingouts https://sonnetsandswingouts.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627528231357120512/replying-to-replies-with-bonus-boob-centric-fic

Boob sweat is the WORST, I end up having to put a scrap of linen in between during reenacting season to avoid Bodice Cleavage Acne From Hell due to the sweat and lack of circulation.

WHY is no lingerie ever made of linen, I fucking love linen as a next-the-skin layer. I have in the past worn bras OVER a linen camisole. If you can get the creases to be in just the right place… I think they make jersey-knit linen which would be stretchy but I have always assumed that would be too spendy for me. But– there’s been a trend lately to make wool bras, and I suppose if you got your merino/spandex blend right they’d be fine but guess what size they don’t come in, that’s right, Average And Above = a no-go for all Ethical Fashion so I don’t know why I bothered looking through every company’s identical size charts… THat, I didn’t feel so righteously mad about because I am pretty wildly statistally an outlier with bra sizes. (Though, unlike when I was young, you now can get 36I or 38H in several places, the Internet has made a few things easier!)

anyway yes when they’re in that mood the ladies must not be allowed to touch one another. I have a patented method but the linen kerchief is 👍

sorrelchestnut https://sorrelchestnut.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627528231357120512/replying-to-replies-with-bonus-boob-centric-fic

okay yennefer critiquing the tiddy spell was exactly what i didn’t know i needed today, thank you

She’s having a great time and so am I.

“There is one thing I quite badly want to do to you,” Yennefer said, “and I promise it won’t hurt, but then after that I’d be perfectly delighted to give you a thorough demonstration of the skill you came to me seeking to learn.”

“One thing,” Keira said, raising her eyebrows.

Yennefer snapped, and the spell dissolved, and Keira’s freed breasts nearly, but not quite, fell out of her shirt. “Oh!” Keira said.

exrayspex https://exrayspex.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “replying to replies with bonus boob-centric fic snippet” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627528231357120512/replying-to-replies-with-bonus-boob-centric-fic

i am SO looking forward to hearing more about keira’s titties, bless you. also, re: summer chafing, i recently discovered these sweat-absorbing bra insert things that you just tuck under your boobs, then put your bra on as normal, and they have been so helpful in eliminating underboob rash hell. i can send you a link to them if you want, they’re cheap and so so nice

A man wrote her, undeniably, and in every tiny facet of her character you can find evidence of that, in every interpretation thusfar, but just because she was created largely for the male gaze does not mean that I cannot also gaze.

Huh! I could take a look at a link for those. I’m actually fine now– but what happened was that I was taken in by those great tomboyx bralettes, https://tomboyx.com/products/essentials-soft-bra-rainbow-pride-stripes and I bought a set of the rainbow striped one and some matching underpants, and yeah sure it’s a passable sleep bra, it keeps my boobs from escaping through my arm holes or whatever, but I wore it during the day one day because I couldn’t resist the allure of the matching set (normally unattainable at my size) and that was absolutely stupid, it was entirely unequal to the challenge of my considerable topography in conjunction with a busy active day of physical activity. So that was four or five days of last week, alas.

But– ah yes! An exception to the Ethical Fashion Is Only For Thinner Than Average Women– Tomboyx! Gender-neutral, and while they don’t have something for every body, they go from a 26″ waist to a 63″ waist, so that’s a bigger spread than the other companies I was looking at. too bad they don’t sell trousers like I need.

clotpoleofthelord https://clotpoleofthelord.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “New Fic: Learning Experiences” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/627512710034259968/new-fic-learning-experiences

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THIS IS LOVELY

well thanks. :)

A commenter just said that reading the story was like looking at Geralt’s baby pics and I am unutterably charmed by the image.