via https://ift.tt/3iD4jhE
astroloquacious https://astroloquacious.tumblr.com/ replied to your
post “replies
and asks and such”
https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/626198592582008832/replies-and-asks-and-such
because the book in your head isn’t REAL or CONCRETE and is therefore
incapable of having flaws. And being so upset at the flaws that you don’t
write means you aren’t improving. To paraphrase Ira Glass, the only way to
get your work up to the quality of your taste is to first produce a lot of
shit. Also I was 100% right and please tell me more about dumbass paladins
and the incredibly exasperated handlers who love them. Lawful Stupids &
Lawful Assholes are the best.
I just gotta address one thing in this very sweet message (which I did
enjoy but I feel deserves a response!), which is that the only way to get
your work up to the quality of your taste is to first produce a lot of shit
–
I have written literally a million words of drafts of this novel, so far;
I started work on it in 2003.
Please believe me, the problem with this novel, and all of them, is not
that I have not produced a lot of shit already.
It has taught me a lot of things! it sure has! I learned close 3rd POV when
I threw away the entire third draft of the book and started from scratch
completely rewriting it in 1st person so that I could then re-translate it
to 3rd person. It was 200,000 words long at the time and I did a complete
retype with no copy-pasting, both times. (That was approximately 2004-5, I
think, though the file dates aren’t definitive since I’ve switched
computers a couple of times since then.)
I just. Haven’t made a full coherent draft any of those times, and took all
these breaks to write fanfic instead so I could get some feedback (and in
the midst of that, took breaks from fanfic to not write at all, which did
rather bad things to my psyche, but not really worse things than spending
my life getting laughed at for wanting to write a novel, really; you gotta
balance this shit).
But it’s not that I lack faith or confidence or haven’t practiced. It’s
just that I’ve spent a lot of time burning myself to acquire some skill and
it’s hard to bravely plunge back in again, and by now I’m extremely
skeptical of that novel ever being anything worth anything on its own as
opposed to an object lesson in The Way Not To Do It.
Which was why I was also working on other unrelated novels… But anyway, I
just felt that should get a response. Because yes! as always, the correct
answer to any worries about writing is generally, write more, but in this
specific case, it can safely be said that I did try that one. It might be
time for me to attempt something else, like maybe supportive beta readers
or like, somebody with some concept of how an edit ought to work, but those
aren’t things I know much about and I’ve been so alone for so long.
This is the novel, in fact, that taught me the valuable life lesson that
Nobody Cares About Your Novel, now that I contemplate it, so. I mean,
there’s some scar tissue here. I’m working through it.
But yes, I’m fully aware, you gotta write a lot of shit before you write
anything you’ll like, and in fact, I’ve done so.
(Actually I’m within 10,000 words of having published two million words on
AO3 since I got an account there in 2012, now that I look. I think of the
million as a benchmark because I remember a Neil Gaiman quote about
something about writing a million words before finding one you like, and
that was when I tallied up my words on the various drafts of this novel and
came up with something over the million mark, so. At any rate, his advice
was practice, and I’ve done that!)