mouths of babes vol 749

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It is Hot here, and thus there’s less wearing of long pants etc. 

Boy has decided that his mother’s leg stubble is an Unacceptable texture. He wants to sit on her lap, but he dislikes her “sting-hairs”, and keeps having to dramatically fling himself away from her.

(Girl has not observed any particular change in the texture of her mother, but it is too hot really for lap-sitting.)

“It’s a good thing I’m by now inured to commentary on my physical being,” MM commented dryly, as Boy wailed on the other couch about her Sting Hairs.

anxietyproblem:

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anxietyproblem:

updates from the middle-aged

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ok so

either hose water has gotten WAY COLDER since I was a kid (unlikely)

or I am WAY LESS TOUGH than I ever was as a tot

because holy FUCK 

we just filled a kiddie pool and I was like “hey kids I’m gonna do a science experiment about fluid displacement” and I stood in the pool and my feet went numb. “oh weird,” I said to myself, but like, i’m doing this for science, so I got down on my knees. My lower legs went numb. “Dang,”I said, and then, because I am a GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT, I proceeded to SIT MY ELEPHANTINE ASS DOWN and overflow the half-full kiddie pool, like I’d planned all along

“AH HA HA CH- CHE-CHECK TH  TH TH THAT OUT KIDS” I said, as my jaw locked up and my entire lower body went totally fucking numb

OK OK OK OK OK I thought, and then was like, I don’t know if I can get up, and then was like, how the fuck do kids play in these pools, and then

well I made it, and then I hosed myself off the rest of the way because I hate a half-wet bathing suit, and THE NOISES I MADE

how TF did I EVER run through a SPRINKLER of that shit on PURPOSE and like, for HOURS

I don’t know man, I don’t know, it was brutal

but all my fat reserves are chilled through which means I’ll be comfortable the rest of the day, thanks. :)

creepyscritches: Time to figure out Quen, Lambert.

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creepyscritches:

Time to figure out Quen, Lambert.