walburgablack replied to your

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walburgablack replied to your post “argh i accidentally got sucked in and spent way more than i meant to…”

oh hon. *now* you’ve been to Asia

incidentally the trick is to say you have half the money they’re asking for, and other things to buy, so yes [object of desire] is pretty but *elaborate shrug*. if you can, say you’ll give a third of what they’re asking for, or what have you.

Ha! I was expecting that, but the price he named was literally ten times what I was expecting to pay and I didn’t know what to do from there. I was like, “I don’t have anything like that much money, are you crazy?” and he was like “FOR YOU I DO SPECIAL DEAL” and it was like I was staring into the eyes of a snake in an old Disney cartoon, it was unreal. I was like “YES SIR OKAY” and that was it.

(Literally at one point he said “tell your friends” and then later was like “never admit to your friends I sold it this cheap” and I was like “you gotta be kidding me” and yet still could not escape.)

Incidentally– I’m not in Asia yet! Istanbul is on the Europe side of the Bosphorus, in part, and that’s the bit I’m in. Which really just goes to show you *mutter* they’re not two continents really *end mutter*.

Tomorrow, though, Asia.

I managed to spare myself a tiny bit of the cash I actually had by desperately clinging to the fact that I still needed to buy myself dinner and didn’t want to starve. It was so eerie. I really in hindsight know exactly how I should have laughed at him but at the time I was like OH MY GOD WHAT DO.

Listen, things have price tags on them and it’s really fucking rude to haggle, where I’m from. And that goes for literally everything. Literally everything. Haggling is Not Done. I thought I would be okay at it and then I just. No, dude. That’s not– no.

So– I’m buying basically postcards only the rest of this trip, and everyone’s getting printed out photos I took, because I cannot be trusted to buy anything.

(Dude is, if you can believe it, WORSE than me. He’d come back with like, a live sheep, and like, “the guy said I had to buy it so I gave him all my money, what do we do now?” “Dude I sent you to buy a bottle of water what is happening?” “I DON’T KNOW OKAY” “well it won’t fit in carry-on, one of us is going to have to kill it” “NOT MY DEPARTMENT”)

Honestly I’ve had a fantastic time because I’m here with him, though, we’ve had a fucking blast, so there’s that. I mean, we could’ve stayed home and done that, but there’s something to be said for novelty and also having sixteen years of shared inside jokes.

He let me buy him a camera (FINALLY) for this trip, and tonight I taught him about exposure compensation, and it BLEW HIS TINY MIND, so that was pretty entertaining.
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welp Instagram crashed so bad I had to delete and reinstall the app, and that wiped out all my app..

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welp Instagram crashed so bad I had to delete and reinstall the app, and that wiped out all my app sharing permissions, so.

my instagram, I’ll try to come back and re-share things once i get home but who knows. Sorry that broke. Nobody probably cares that much, but I was enjoying getting to share stuff. 
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gaysexhaver666: bitter-badfem-harpy: babyangel-jpg: Guys

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gaysexhaver666:

bitter-badfem-harpy:

babyangel-jpg:

Guys really be out here thinking I won’t smash a wine bottle over their head

I recommend a beer bottle or a glass tumbler. Wine bottles are very hard to shatter, and you’re more likely to split a man’s skull open and cause permanent “attempted murder”-type brain damage, and you want to teach them a lesson not, like, become a convicted felon.

Nice, Thanks for the tip! I’m not a pussy and i can bury a body, but this could help someone else!

uh… protip… a beer bottle won’t necessarily break before a skull either. in movies they shatter because they’re props. a friend of mine did this once in a moment of great passion and the beer bottle did not break; the man’s skull quite possibly did. she’s not sure, she ran like hell and has never gone back there. it was, as she related it, a Bad Scene, and she would be delighted to know I’m passing on her very heartfelt advice to Not Do That. 

if you try to avoid this by smashing the bottle on a table or something first before hitting the person with it, you have now changed from just assault to premeditated assault. so. like.

maybe don’t do this unless you’re sure you’ve got a clean getaway and nobody knows you there, and even then there’s security cameras now, you’re really better off just hitting someone with your fist. you might hurt yourself but you’re unlikely to get a weapons charge.

personally, in my not-great but not-nonexistent barfighting experience, a solid body check is the way to go, but that most likely works best when you’re well above 200 pounds and 5′7″, as I am, and maybe not so much if you’re petite. But if you don’t hit someone with any of your limbs, you just slam them out of your direct area, then you can make your getaway and it’s very hard for him to point to a site of impact to blame you for, and witnesses can truthfully say you didn’t punch him or kick him or anything. Hips don’t lie but they also don’t have to do much talking.
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