mm mm mm i got a low-grade Feeling like i got in a fight with somebody and am feelin bad about it,..

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mm mm mm i got a low-grade Feeling like i got in a fight with somebody and am feelin bad about it, buuuuuuuut i have replayed the events of the day and that has not happened, i haven’t even gotten in a fight on the internets, wtf brain

Does that happen to anyone else? It happens to me all the fucking time. 

I think it’s gotta be, like, something to do with like, IDK, rejection-sensitive dysphoria which I deffo for sure have, combined with like, IDK, maybe anxiety, I probably have that? I don’t know. but I get this phantom i-have-Wronged-someone-and-am-Cranky-about-it feeling all the fucking time.

So then sometimes in an effort to justify it I crawl back through my memories and remember, say, a thoughtlessly unkind thing I said circa 2003 to a family friend, or hm, something awkward I did in sixth grade, or like– 

it’s not fair, I have the world’s worst memory. I have like, five memories at any given time. All the good things that have ever happened to me got deleted to make room for this bullshit. Some of which I know I’m not even remembering right. 
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amphiaria: nobody in the entire world has ever wronged 0 people in their entire life, that is just..

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amphiaria:

nobody in the entire world has ever wronged 0 people in their entire life, that is just not reality. let yourself move on from having wronged someone and just try not to do it again
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AP calls the AL senate race for Doug Jones, once Selma reported. It was nearly a tie up to that...

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AP calls the AL senate race for Doug Jones, once Selma reported. It was nearly a tie up to that point.

source

(In case you’re behind on the context, Doug Jones is a Democrat, and known for prosecuting the KKK perpetrators of a racist-terrorism bombing in Selma. His opponent, Roy Moore, is a twice-impeached judge who during the campaign was accused of pedophilia [to the point of having been banned from the shopping mall in his hometown when he was in his 30s] and said that gay people should be imprisoned. This was a special election to fill the seat vacated by Jeff Sessions, the current Attorney General.)
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[fic] A Light Reflected

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[fic] A Light Reflected:

aimmyarrowshigh:

fille-lioncelle:

December Holiday Fic Countdown Day 012

After the Battle of Yavin, Leia feels the effects of her loss. 

Leia. Luke. PG-13 for themes of genocide??? space chanukah. I have no idea what I’m doing.

for @aimmyarrowshigh

Huge fic rec! I cried in real life!
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deputychairman: skygualker: looks like prince william is officiating the finnpoe wedding i am...

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deputychairman:

skygualker:

looks like prince william is officiating the finnpoe wedding

i am undone with tenderness he has to look up SO MUCH!

the EYE CONTACT!

Elvira!

thank you that’s all for now

that shoulder– he’s standing next to gwendoline christie again, does he just do that whenever he can because it’s funny?
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How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

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How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria:

taraljc:

lynati:

………..

huh.

when I was diagnosed, this was one of the things I had no fucking clue existed, that suddenly made all the pieces slide into place to make a recogniseable picture.
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Blurry selfie of Betrayal. Chita needs vaccinations to go stay...

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Blurry selfie of Betrayal. Chita needs vaccinations to go stay at the cat spa. She will never forgive me. (at Kenmore Animal Hospital)
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thesacredreznor replied to your photo “Blurry

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thesacredreznor replied to your photo “Blurry selfie of Betrayal. Chita needs vaccinations to go stay at the…”

how could you do that to her? lmao

I AM THE WORRRST

And I held her for the whole appointment, including holding her while the vet gave her shots, so. She’s not going to forgive me, no.

We kind of deliberately had Dude not do any of the holding. That way even if she doesn’t forgive me and trust me in time for going to the boarding place, she’ll still trust him, so it will be His Turn To Betray Her.

(I’m sad, but. It makes sense.)
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I love animals but I kill them too

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I love animals but I kill them too:

thegreenwolf:

“It’s never easy to take life. Ever.

But it’s necessary.

And I want to face that reality with kindness - not violence.” 

This is a really neat article, and some amazing wildlife photography, too.
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deputychairman replied to your

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deputychairman replied to your post “thesacredreznor replied to your photo “Blurry selfie of Betrayal….”

Human children forget! So fast!

Farmbaby had to get blood drawn for a lead test (badness! badness, 1825 farmhouse BADNESS, it’s been a Whole Thing) and the damn nurse fucked it up so bad, she blew through the vein in BOTH ELBOWS, and Fb was like, barely two and being brave and my sister is trying to be reassuring and was like “if i could have killed someone with my mind it would have been that nurse”, and finally they sent in the nurse who actually knows how to draw blood from tinies, and poor Farmsister had to implore the now very stuck-full-of-holes and miserable (and there was blood! everywhere!) toddler to be brave one more time, and you’d think after that Fb would be hesitant about the doctor but… 

No! She likes the doctor and doesn’t like getting shots but is somehow not traumatized by this and is eminently bribable with lollipops. No hard feelings or worries at all.

Phew.

(I had to get stitches in my face as a tiny, and I remember it, boy do I remember it. But they covered my face with a blue cloth so I couldn’t see the doctor doing it, for some reason like this was going to make it better? So I screamed like a screaming devil the whole time because I thought this mysterious blue thing was trying to kill me? I remember it, I remember pleading with my mother about it, I know I was old enough to talk– about 18 months or so, I could understand a few things, I do remember trying to hold still at one point– but I had no idea what was going on really, and it felt weird and i was terrified because I couldn’t see anything and something was biting me! I’m sure my mother cried then, but I don’t remember that part. She more remembers that another patient in the waiting room had said they’d kill me if I didn’t stop scratching my fingernail on the textured wallpaper (I remember the wallpaper!), which she thought betrayed a stunning lack of realization of how very much worse an injured and frightened 18-month-old could be as an aural nuisance.)

(Seven stitches! I still have the scar. But no fear of doctors. Welllll, not from that.)

sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post “thesacredreznor replied to your photo “Blurry selfie of Betrayal….”

No lie, I cried when they stuck my infant with his first vaccinations. Hormones almost certainly played a part, but still.

Yeah, my friends who are moms have at various points expressed that sentiment. I get it, boy do I.

torrilin replied to your post “thesacredreznor replied to your photo “Blurry selfie of Betrayal….”

For what it’s worth, it’s much easier if it happens regularly. If Midnight felt bad, she’d try to convince us to walk her to the vet, and walks in directions that were not the vet were met with husky rage. She also knew about cabs and would accept waiting for one instead of walking to the vet.

Wow that dog sounds a lot smarter than my cat is.

She developed this horrible fear of being taken places in the car after she got spayed, which, ok, that was probably a shitty time for her, I got no doubt of that. But ever since then, probably once or twice a year we take her out in the car, and we drive her to her Skin-Grandma (she’s our furbaby so we’re her Skin-parents, largely because of how creepy it sounds) who spoils her while we’re away. It’s less than a quarter-mile drive and she loves the destination and never wants to leave. But the trip is still The Worst Thing Ever. So I don’t know if she can be taught not to dread Outings. It’s not even like, it’s the outdoors she’s so afraid of– she goes out of her own accord and sits in the yard and such. She dislikes going near the road but knows fine well what noises cars make. 

Still, being in one is The Worst Fate. 

I’m home now and she pointedly did not come greet me. I went and found her and she let me pet her but was Not Pleased. But dude got home and she came to see him and let him carry her around and is sitting on him now, so I’m feeling put out. You bet your ass he’s gonna be the one to Betray Her to the cat boarding people, there’s no goddamn way I’m gonna be the villain again.
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