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At my best friend’s house yesterday– we
Dec. 11th, 2017 12:29 amvia http://ift.tt/2ATSVuU:
At my best friend’s house yesterday– we went out there early, and brought fancy stuff to change into– I was in the upstairs bathroom doing my makeup, and her kids came in while I was putting in my contacts. She wore contacts for years when the kids were really tiny– they loved to rip her glasses off her face and break them, so she switched to contacts for like, three years– so I figured they’d have seen this before. But the boy, who is four, was fascinated, and didn’t seem to have ever seen anyone put contacts in before. “What are you doing?” he asked.
I showed him the lens, and my glasses, and said, “These are like tiny glasses that you put right on the surface of your eye! So I can wear these instead of my big glasses, and see right!” And as I was saying it, I was like, oh my god, he is going to go shove things into his eyeball. “You should never put anything into your eye!” I went on hastily. “I got these from a doctor and he showed me how to do it, so I know how! Otherwise I’d never put anything in my eye.”
Here’s the thing, I almost never wear contacts so I’m super out of practice at using them and always fuck up. So, slightly distracted, I jammed my finger into my eyeball, and it stung like the dickens and I had to blink a lot to get the contact seated properly.
“Ummm,” the child said, “does it hurt?”
Streaming tears from both eyes and snot from my nose, I said, as cheerfully as I could manage, “Oh, not– well, sort of, yeah, it stings, but– it’s not supposed to.”
“Huh,” he said, and ran off, and I heard him explaining to the roomful of bewildered adults downstairs about the tiny glasses I was shoving in my eye and making myself cry.
(Later, downstairs, makeup complete, the girl, who is 3, climbed up into my lap and frowned at my face. “Looks… different,” she said. She pointed at my mouth, frowning in evident disapproval. “What did you do?”
“Oh,” I said, “it’s lipstick.”
She scrunched up her face. “Why?”
Good question, kid.)
(Your picture was not posted)
At my best friend’s house yesterday– we went out there early, and brought fancy stuff to change into– I was in the upstairs bathroom doing my makeup, and her kids came in while I was putting in my contacts. She wore contacts for years when the kids were really tiny– they loved to rip her glasses off her face and break them, so she switched to contacts for like, three years– so I figured they’d have seen this before. But the boy, who is four, was fascinated, and didn’t seem to have ever seen anyone put contacts in before. “What are you doing?” he asked.
I showed him the lens, and my glasses, and said, “These are like tiny glasses that you put right on the surface of your eye! So I can wear these instead of my big glasses, and see right!” And as I was saying it, I was like, oh my god, he is going to go shove things into his eyeball. “You should never put anything into your eye!” I went on hastily. “I got these from a doctor and he showed me how to do it, so I know how! Otherwise I’d never put anything in my eye.”
Here’s the thing, I almost never wear contacts so I’m super out of practice at using them and always fuck up. So, slightly distracted, I jammed my finger into my eyeball, and it stung like the dickens and I had to blink a lot to get the contact seated properly.
“Ummm,” the child said, “does it hurt?”
Streaming tears from both eyes and snot from my nose, I said, as cheerfully as I could manage, “Oh, not– well, sort of, yeah, it stings, but– it’s not supposed to.”
“Huh,” he said, and ran off, and I heard him explaining to the roomful of bewildered adults downstairs about the tiny glasses I was shoving in my eye and making myself cry.
(Later, downstairs, makeup complete, the girl, who is 3, climbed up into my lap and frowned at my face. “Looks… different,” she said. She pointed at my mouth, frowning in evident disapproval. “What did you do?”
“Oh,” I said, “it’s lipstick.”
She scrunched up her face. “Why?”
Good question, kid.)
(Your picture was not posted)
