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tobermoriansass:
ababelofprose replied to your post “I stupidly looked at the comments on a post so now I have to think up…”
well, if we’re going down an angst spiral, what does rey unexpectedly miss about jakku? what does finn unexpectedly - not miss, necessarily, but feel unmoored without - about life in the first order? or, like literally anything about poe, my eternal fave. i’d be in the tank for like 2k about his favorite food or whatever. OR anything about jess pava. but also, on a less horrid note, obligatory reminder re: suburban mom typology.
okay i’m declaring today a Sad Headcanons About Finn day so here are some more sad Finn headcanons aka, things Finn kind of feels unmoored without from life in the first order:
1) the pop music. thirty years in the unknown regions means that no one in the first order’s ever heard of pop music past 3ABY and all the records on their holonet date back to the heyday of Imperial pop and patriotic propaganda jingles. they’re catchy, is the thing, so sometimes he catches himself humming it - because someone, sometimes it’s Snap, sometimes it’s one of the older soldiers, who go still and he can feel it through the Force - the tension and the itching fingers and sometimes, the sheer rage - and he knows he shouldn’t, but the thing is: those songs are a part of him. the tunes are a part of him, much as he hates it. much as he hates the way it makes general organa’s knuckles go white around the edges of her datapad.
but he misses it.
2) schedules. do you know how much free time people get in the resistance? most times, even with the understaffing, its just all of them sitting around and waiting for the next sound piece of intelligence, the next wave of flyboys to return with news for the next round of action, the next wave of supplies to arrive so they can send out their mercy missions. it’s just long long days waiting for something, anything to happen and almost nothing to do inbetween except count the hours.
3) the psytechs. after every mission or deployment, all personnel are debriefed by psytechs, especially after involvement in conflict. the psytechs talk it out with you and sometimes give you pills and give you treatments to make you feel better and stop the nightmares. this is supposed to be for maximum efficiency, but what it means is that they don’t run you off until you’re no longer working inside where it counts, the way here, sometimes, you’ll run into someone who’s staring out at nothing and people will jump for their blasters over the strangest things. not even their TIE pilots were this highly strung, even the ones who were really crazy.
(the flip side of it is this: no one is too broken to fight and no one is ever scheduled for termination.)
4) being faceless. he shouldn’t feel strange about this but he does. everyone stares. they love him or hate him, but there’s no inbetween and all of them stare. all of them look, even when they’re not looking because their not looking is sometimes more obvious than their looking. he’s exceptional. he’s not just finn, he’s finn. exceptional. their own ex-stormtrooper, a force-sensitive, a bag of tricks waiting to happen. there’s a difference between being an outsider and The Outsider. there’s a difference doing it with a mask and without a mask. he’s finn, he doesn’t need a mask, but sometimes he thinks he could use something like it, something to paint him just like them, so they stop looking.
5) some essential part of his childhood. for the longest time they used to tell him he had to learn how to fight because he was fighting for his parents, against chaos and the tyranny of the mob and the new republic who left them to die when the hutts and the niktos came and the gang wars started - not just on the place he used to call home, whose name he doesn’t even remember now, but across the outer rim. he was doing it for them, he was going to be a hero, he was going to save them: that was what the psytechs and his officers told him and none of this was true, but it still doesn’t change the fact that for sometime he thought it was real and it felt like it was real and it felt like he’d left that child behind, the memory he was supposed to be faithful to, because he wanted out, because he was selfish, because he didn’t want to die.
#this is My Shit honestly#the thing about the waiting around I have written that before so many times I believe it with my whole heart!!!!!#finn is stunned and (secretly bc he is certainly not about to say anything) dismayed with the laxity the resistance is allowed#it keeps him up at night sweating cold because he can see the F platoons on parade in his mind’s eye and they’re legion#above their heads a flotilla of tie fighters roar by#(he was there that was home he will never not remember that)#and here are just a bunch of rumpled part-timers who are pretty much always in a state of uniform violation#whose equipment is in varying states of operational#(they don’t even make their /bunks/ they have personal effects and spice and jokes and—)#and he knows logically that discipline is not the only way to win wars but it still panics him; terrifies him down to his marrow#that he chose the right side but not the one that will win in the end#star wars
tags via @notbecauseofvictories
tobermoriansass:
ababelofprose replied to your post “I stupidly looked at the comments on a post so now I have to think up…”
well, if we’re going down an angst spiral, what does rey unexpectedly miss about jakku? what does finn unexpectedly - not miss, necessarily, but feel unmoored without - about life in the first order? or, like literally anything about poe, my eternal fave. i’d be in the tank for like 2k about his favorite food or whatever. OR anything about jess pava. but also, on a less horrid note, obligatory reminder re: suburban mom typology.
okay i’m declaring today a Sad Headcanons About Finn day so here are some more sad Finn headcanons aka, things Finn kind of feels unmoored without from life in the first order:
1) the pop music. thirty years in the unknown regions means that no one in the first order’s ever heard of pop music past 3ABY and all the records on their holonet date back to the heyday of Imperial pop and patriotic propaganda jingles. they’re catchy, is the thing, so sometimes he catches himself humming it - because someone, sometimes it’s Snap, sometimes it’s one of the older soldiers, who go still and he can feel it through the Force - the tension and the itching fingers and sometimes, the sheer rage - and he knows he shouldn’t, but the thing is: those songs are a part of him. the tunes are a part of him, much as he hates it. much as he hates the way it makes general organa’s knuckles go white around the edges of her datapad.
but he misses it.
2) schedules. do you know how much free time people get in the resistance? most times, even with the understaffing, its just all of them sitting around and waiting for the next sound piece of intelligence, the next wave of flyboys to return with news for the next round of action, the next wave of supplies to arrive so they can send out their mercy missions. it’s just long long days waiting for something, anything to happen and almost nothing to do inbetween except count the hours.
3) the psytechs. after every mission or deployment, all personnel are debriefed by psytechs, especially after involvement in conflict. the psytechs talk it out with you and sometimes give you pills and give you treatments to make you feel better and stop the nightmares. this is supposed to be for maximum efficiency, but what it means is that they don’t run you off until you’re no longer working inside where it counts, the way here, sometimes, you’ll run into someone who’s staring out at nothing and people will jump for their blasters over the strangest things. not even their TIE pilots were this highly strung, even the ones who were really crazy.
(the flip side of it is this: no one is too broken to fight and no one is ever scheduled for termination.)
4) being faceless. he shouldn’t feel strange about this but he does. everyone stares. they love him or hate him, but there’s no inbetween and all of them stare. all of them look, even when they’re not looking because their not looking is sometimes more obvious than their looking. he’s exceptional. he’s not just finn, he’s finn. exceptional. their own ex-stormtrooper, a force-sensitive, a bag of tricks waiting to happen. there’s a difference between being an outsider and The Outsider. there’s a difference doing it with a mask and without a mask. he’s finn, he doesn’t need a mask, but sometimes he thinks he could use something like it, something to paint him just like them, so they stop looking.
5) some essential part of his childhood. for the longest time they used to tell him he had to learn how to fight because he was fighting for his parents, against chaos and the tyranny of the mob and the new republic who left them to die when the hutts and the niktos came and the gang wars started - not just on the place he used to call home, whose name he doesn’t even remember now, but across the outer rim. he was doing it for them, he was going to be a hero, he was going to save them: that was what the psytechs and his officers told him and none of this was true, but it still doesn’t change the fact that for sometime he thought it was real and it felt like it was real and it felt like he’d left that child behind, the memory he was supposed to be faithful to, because he wanted out, because he was selfish, because he didn’t want to die.
#this is My Shit honestly#the thing about the waiting around I have written that before so many times I believe it with my whole heart!!!!!#finn is stunned and (secretly bc he is certainly not about to say anything) dismayed with the laxity the resistance is allowed#it keeps him up at night sweating cold because he can see the F platoons on parade in his mind’s eye and they’re legion#above their heads a flotilla of tie fighters roar by#(he was there that was home he will never not remember that)#and here are just a bunch of rumpled part-timers who are pretty much always in a state of uniform violation#whose equipment is in varying states of operational#(they don’t even make their /bunks/ they have personal effects and spice and jokes and—)#and he knows logically that discipline is not the only way to win wars but it still panics him; terrifies him down to his marrow#that he chose the right side but not the one that will win in the end#star wars
tags via @notbecauseofvictories
