deputychairman: oscarextrada: It’s the truth.

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deputychairman:

oscarextrada:

It’s the truth.

I’m so grateful for all the gifs that mean I don’t have to sit through a film with Russell Crowe in it

Ha I’ve had this Kes/Shara next installment up

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Ha I’ve had this Kes/Shara next installment up as a draft on AO3 for like a week and a half and kept being about to push the button and publish it but I just wasn’t sure, it wasn’t really… completed in my head, I felt like I hadn’t really finished it. So I held off.

It had a cameo in it from a minor character who is in TFA, and part of my hesitation was that I just hadn’t put in the work for the backstory there, and i was debating about it. That’s the thing; you can’t just insert a character to fill a role if that character has no motive to be there besides executing a plot point. There’s got to be at least a vague notion about why they’d be there. 

And then some tie-in novel came out that gave said minor canon character a bunch of backstory details and they actually make the whole story have a reason for existing apart from the little character study of Kes and Shara’s relationship that it was supposed to be, and it’s creepy as fuck how it worked out because I had no idea it was going to happen like that. 

I mean, there are only so many ideas in the world, so it makes sense that they’d tie in well, but. I’m also really glad I didn’t publish it as-is, because it would have been annoyingly insta-Jossed, and also wouldn’t have been much of a story.

Ugh! I’m in my own house for the first time in

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Ugh! I’m in my own house for the first time in over a week and so I thought, you know, all my stuff is here, I could sew a thing. I’ve been wanting to make myself more t-shirt-dresses and the like. And I just did a quick perusal of some pattern ideas, and I’m just– overwhelmed with the fact that literally everything I saw was designed for maybe a 38-inch bust, maximum. I would have to reengineer every single “easy quick!” pattern idea, and I’m just not all that skilled, and I just don’t want to think that hard. 

I just. I just get tired. Of there being so much of me, I guess, or just. I don’t know. Ugh. Ugh! 

Why is the entire Internet of people who sew and talk about fashion made up of miniature people. I don’t feel that enormous most of the time, but then. I guess. I guess I am. I’m an enormous person. And almost nobody makes clothes that fit me. And that’s fine, that’s why I started sewing in the first place. But every single thing I make is pieced together out of smaller things and eventually I start to feel ridiculous that it takes me two shirts to make one, etcetera. I am so enormous. Which should be a value-neutral thing because it just is, but there I am. 

My mother would say to me, “start dieting then!” Thanks mom. That’s been useful my entire life.

thesacredreznor replied to your post “Ugh!

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ugh i feel this. i’ve never tried to sew (partly because of my peripheral awareness that they don’t really make patterns for people my size) but it’s so awful not being able to find anything that can fit me and being reduced to shopping at like 3 stores, one of which i hate, the other is too expensive, the other is fine but the clothes tend to fall apart :(

My weird attention-span or math or spatial reckoning disorder or whatever it is means that I can’t actually follow a pattern, so I’m spared that at least. It just means that I have to really work to reverse-engineer things, and more often than not, I’m engineering things, because what I want has never been made (that I can find) in a size/shape like mine. I just have these boobs, y’know, and they’re like, they have their own postal code. And you have to respect their relationship with gravity in a certain kind of way, and literally no fashion bloggers or DIY enthusiasts or anybody ever talks about that. I see garment after garment that is backless or has a single bust dart or is just ever so cute and exactly what I want and is predicated on having a 5″-6″ difference in full bust and underbust measurement (“for the curvy girl!”) (I have a 12″ difference in underbust and full bust) and like. I’m just. I’m just tired. 

Plus I’m trying to make do exclusively with existing garments and scraps I got as remnants, so I don’t have more than half a yard of any one thing, and a lot of it is already cut in odd shapes that mean it’s irrespective of the grain line, so I can piece together a whole yard of it maybe but it’s not going to hang right. 

And when I can make it work, sure, it’s super artsy, but mostly it doesn’t quite work so it’s frumpy as shit. And I don’t care, exactly, but it’s a lot to think about.

And I’m just tired. 

And I only work part-time now so I can’t justify the expense of just– buying the things I want, and anyway the things made that would work for me are so ugly and shoddy and not my aesthetic. I guess the upside is I’m not tempted to spend money. But the downside is that I’m dressed like a total freak.

I should take some photos of the garments I have successfully made– I debuted a great refashioned tank top that I bought on clearance from LL Bean forever ago, and it was petite, so it was way too wide and short, so I screen-printed Jeeps on it and stuck a strip of an old shirt on as a waistband, then made a skirt out of two different colors of scrap fabric, and added some exquisite wide-lace trim Liesl gave me, and embroidered the neck with neon yellow floss, but it’s too short to be a dress and I don’t know what to wear it with. 

And I’m almost finished with a refashion of a free promotional Miller Lite men’s t-shirt I added a waistband and multicolored-panel skirt to, and I just need to add pockets and do something about the giant armholes where I cut the sleeves off. 

See, I’m not hopeless. I just– I really want to make a cool crossover-back smock I saw a pattern for, but I don’t want to cut into what little virgin yardage I have to make it. But it’s so hard to piece fabric for big things like that, I should just– do it. I have one big piece of nice linen. I just. I don’t want to cut it in case I fuck up. You know.

Anyway. Why do I freak out so much over starting projects? You all know why. 

And yeah this is me being in some despair over making a new chapter 3 by Wednesday. I may not succeed. I have too much subplot to come up with.

acroamatica: millicentthecat: This was in reference to

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acroamatica:

millicentthecat:

This was in reference to how to pronounce “Armitage” BUT I CAN’T HELP IT I have to say something…

Neuromancer popped into my head earlier this morning because it’s the only story I can think of with a character whose a first name / nickname (I guess people would say, given name) is “Armitage.”  In Neuromancer, Armitage is:

-a high-ranking military official with a sinister agenda

-brainwashed and augmented by technology in a Winter-Soldier-esque sort of way

-sort of degeneratively unstable

-presented as possible Big Bad in the story but ultimately sacrificed (in an anti-climactic way) by getting tossed out an airlock into space

Obviously the tweet was just a hint for pronounciation and not any kind of ~secret clue~ but…idk…maybe the name didn’t come out of nowhere?

dear pablo

this fandom needs to club together and buy you a spoon

you’ve done so much shitstirring yours must be nearly worn out

also yes thank you I was trying to remember where there’d been a character named Armitage!Neuromancer is SUCH A GOOD, you know? I just don’t reread it all that often.

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I made a farm dinner @laughing.earth ! Roasted a 4.6 lb chicken...

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I made a farm dinner @laughing.earth ! Roasted a 4.6 lb chicken at 400 for almost an hour (patted dry and oiled and salted), cut up a sweet onion, carrots, and fennel and roasted with salt, olive oil, rosemary for ~20 minutes. Burnt my fingers cutting it up so not as smooth a job as Zack’s demo, but still credible! Gravy for biscuits and gravy tomorrow, and carcass plus carrot greens and fennel trimmings for stock!