dos gardenias para mi
May. 18th, 2013 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7Good Lord it has been a long time since I posted here.
Tumblr doesn't do it. I try, but no.
The latest rage is Snapchat. Everyone on my team is on it, and we send one another mundane photos of our lives, with boners crudely drawn atop them and witty captions like "BAG OF DICKS" and "LOLZ".
We are intelligent people, but there is just something hilarious about crudely drawn boners. Especially hairy-balled ones with lines presumably representing ejaculate of some sort, in bright candy colors because Snapchat doesn't have any other colors in the palette.
To this is discourse reduced, in our modern era. Yadda yadda.
I'm posting because I'm having a fantastic evening, however. I'm marginally tipsy. This morning I took our portable dishwasher, which we rarely use because Z mostly does the dishes and doesn't like the thing, down to the basement, and now we have this like, normal human-sized space to enter the house. The only place we could put that little dishwasher (our kitchen has nowhere we can put a normal-sized dishwasher so we've had an RV-style countertop one for like seven years now) was right by the main entrance to the house, which left the entry way so narrow that I couldn't get my skate bag through easily, and had to do a ridiculous little dance to get by to the basement staircase with a laundry basket, and so forth.
So now the kitchen is bright and airy in the entryway area. Last week I lost my mind and reorganized the spice rack and steamed the floor twice. The week before that we set up the sunporch and cleared out the guest room to be an office. (Z just changed jobs and now works remote; he works from home about 1/2 the time, and rents space downtown at a coworking space the rest of the time.) So we now have FIOS and little by little more of the house looks like grownups live in it.
I am back on antidepressants and they're sort of working, but mostly it's just that the sun is back. It's not even like I care about sunshine, it's just that my brain works better with it there. The antidepressants mean I don't constantly obsess about my social awkwardness, but even with them I still have no actual ability to process real-world situations. Oh well. (I'm also still hella fat but that doesn't bother me too much. Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fatshionista.)
I survived the depths of this winter's depression by obsessively watching and re-watching Stargate: Atlantis. About six years ago I had a ton of LJ friends who were huge McShep shippers. Now I'm one and nobody's doing it anymore. Oh well.
I still have the kind of depression where you just sort of can't get off your ass and do anything because you can't believe it will actually help anything. But I'm alive and slowly making progress on things I like and so on. Not really writing much but hey. Alive.
I took a bunch of photos recently; I went to Savannah and visited my big sister and her babies.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dragonlady7/sets/72157633414019156/with/8705382409/
GO LOOK AT THE ADORABLE CHILDRENS.
All my friends are having babies. I'd promised myself I'd have my nervous breakdown about that when I was 29, but I'm having it now-- I totally think babies look like a fascinating hobby and I'd love to have one of my own. Unfortunately, while I was sort of ambivalent about this before, I began a decade-plus-long relationship with a dude who's pretty sure he doesn't want kids. So if I want them I'd kind of have to go find someone else to have them with, and that'd be a bummer. I've always known that if I were with someone who really wanted babies, i'd totally be into it; now I'm in the awkward position of being pretty into the idea but with a partner who is pretty into the not-having idea. So that's a bummer. I don't think I'll leave him over it (we've gotten along great since 2002 and also we have amazing sex and I wash his socks and he mostly does dishes and gets my jokes, where the hell would I find anyone better? Nowhere!! I know I have great tits but my sense of humor is actually really awful and I fart a lot, there's no way I'll find any other dude this hot who can tolerate me) but I am probably gonna be pretty miserable riding out this biological clock thing, and then in my old age when I have the inevitable regrets that's gonna be a bummer. Goddamn it, can I borrow someone's babies for the critical shit? I don't even mind when they shit on me.
Bah.
Being a 33-year-old woman in a dead-end job still saddled with useless student loan debt kinda doesn't give you a shitload of options. But, my life is comfortable and I am overall happy. So there's that.
So I'm gonna leave you with some recipes.
First off I'm totally into cold-brewed coffee. Coarse-grind some decent whole beans, put them in a French press for 12-24 hours with cold water, stir well and press.
Then you can make an Iced B-52, which rocks: For 2, I used an ounce each of Bailey's, Kahlua, Cointreau, and white rum, and filled the glass the rest of the way with cold-press coffee.
My mania lately has been to pre-mix the booze part of drinks and put them into the freezer in Mason jars. I put the boozey part, above, in the freezer, and rinsed out the glasses I was gonna use and stuck them in the freezer too, for like 2 hours while we ate dinner and watched the season finale of Season 3 of Stargate: Atlantis. (I watched the whole thing, and have been rewatching in order with Z. He likes it more than I'd expected; mostly i watched it for the man candy. Sheppard should've had his shirt off about 90% more than he did, which was basically never.)
The other drink we had tonight was the Sazerac, which is one of those annoying ones that has like a zillion ingredients.
For one, it's 2 oz rye whiskey (better, but you can substitute whiskey or bourbon in a pinch), a splash absinthe, 1/2 oz simple syrup (50/50 water and white sugar, heated and stirred until dissolved, then chilled), 1/4 oz lemon juice or some lemon zest, and four dashes of Peychaud's bitters.
I have a huge collection of bitters now. I'm serious; I have ten different kinds, at least. More, now-- my sister Fiona just gave me two bottles of homemade bitters. Oy.
Yeah so mostly the whole time I've been gone has been more of the same-- I lost my mind, mostly, but I'm getting by.
Hey, my roller derby team's going on 3 years of being undefeated. Finals are June 1. Let's see how that goes, eh?
Tumblr doesn't do it. I try, but no.
The latest rage is Snapchat. Everyone on my team is on it, and we send one another mundane photos of our lives, with boners crudely drawn atop them and witty captions like "BAG OF DICKS" and "LOLZ".
We are intelligent people, but there is just something hilarious about crudely drawn boners. Especially hairy-balled ones with lines presumably representing ejaculate of some sort, in bright candy colors because Snapchat doesn't have any other colors in the palette.
To this is discourse reduced, in our modern era. Yadda yadda.
I'm posting because I'm having a fantastic evening, however. I'm marginally tipsy. This morning I took our portable dishwasher, which we rarely use because Z mostly does the dishes and doesn't like the thing, down to the basement, and now we have this like, normal human-sized space to enter the house. The only place we could put that little dishwasher (our kitchen has nowhere we can put a normal-sized dishwasher so we've had an RV-style countertop one for like seven years now) was right by the main entrance to the house, which left the entry way so narrow that I couldn't get my skate bag through easily, and had to do a ridiculous little dance to get by to the basement staircase with a laundry basket, and so forth.
So now the kitchen is bright and airy in the entryway area. Last week I lost my mind and reorganized the spice rack and steamed the floor twice. The week before that we set up the sunporch and cleared out the guest room to be an office. (Z just changed jobs and now works remote; he works from home about 1/2 the time, and rents space downtown at a coworking space the rest of the time.) So we now have FIOS and little by little more of the house looks like grownups live in it.
I am back on antidepressants and they're sort of working, but mostly it's just that the sun is back. It's not even like I care about sunshine, it's just that my brain works better with it there. The antidepressants mean I don't constantly obsess about my social awkwardness, but even with them I still have no actual ability to process real-world situations. Oh well. (I'm also still hella fat but that doesn't bother me too much. Thank you
fatshionista.) I survived the depths of this winter's depression by obsessively watching and re-watching Stargate: Atlantis. About six years ago I had a ton of LJ friends who were huge McShep shippers. Now I'm one and nobody's doing it anymore. Oh well.
I still have the kind of depression where you just sort of can't get off your ass and do anything because you can't believe it will actually help anything. But I'm alive and slowly making progress on things I like and so on. Not really writing much but hey. Alive.
I took a bunch of photos recently; I went to Savannah and visited my big sister and her babies.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dragonlady7/sets/72157633414019156/with/8705382409/
GO LOOK AT THE ADORABLE CHILDRENS.
All my friends are having babies. I'd promised myself I'd have my nervous breakdown about that when I was 29, but I'm having it now-- I totally think babies look like a fascinating hobby and I'd love to have one of my own. Unfortunately, while I was sort of ambivalent about this before, I began a decade-plus-long relationship with a dude who's pretty sure he doesn't want kids. So if I want them I'd kind of have to go find someone else to have them with, and that'd be a bummer. I've always known that if I were with someone who really wanted babies, i'd totally be into it; now I'm in the awkward position of being pretty into the idea but with a partner who is pretty into the not-having idea. So that's a bummer. I don't think I'll leave him over it (we've gotten along great since 2002 and also we have amazing sex and I wash his socks and he mostly does dishes and gets my jokes, where the hell would I find anyone better? Nowhere!! I know I have great tits but my sense of humor is actually really awful and I fart a lot, there's no way I'll find any other dude this hot who can tolerate me) but I am probably gonna be pretty miserable riding out this biological clock thing, and then in my old age when I have the inevitable regrets that's gonna be a bummer. Goddamn it, can I borrow someone's babies for the critical shit? I don't even mind when they shit on me.
Bah.
Being a 33-year-old woman in a dead-end job still saddled with useless student loan debt kinda doesn't give you a shitload of options. But, my life is comfortable and I am overall happy. So there's that.
So I'm gonna leave you with some recipes.
First off I'm totally into cold-brewed coffee. Coarse-grind some decent whole beans, put them in a French press for 12-24 hours with cold water, stir well and press.
Then you can make an Iced B-52, which rocks: For 2, I used an ounce each of Bailey's, Kahlua, Cointreau, and white rum, and filled the glass the rest of the way with cold-press coffee.
My mania lately has been to pre-mix the booze part of drinks and put them into the freezer in Mason jars. I put the boozey part, above, in the freezer, and rinsed out the glasses I was gonna use and stuck them in the freezer too, for like 2 hours while we ate dinner and watched the season finale of Season 3 of Stargate: Atlantis. (I watched the whole thing, and have been rewatching in order with Z. He likes it more than I'd expected; mostly i watched it for the man candy. Sheppard should've had his shirt off about 90% more than he did, which was basically never.)
The other drink we had tonight was the Sazerac, which is one of those annoying ones that has like a zillion ingredients.
For one, it's 2 oz rye whiskey (better, but you can substitute whiskey or bourbon in a pinch), a splash absinthe, 1/2 oz simple syrup (50/50 water and white sugar, heated and stirred until dissolved, then chilled), 1/4 oz lemon juice or some lemon zest, and four dashes of Peychaud's bitters.
I have a huge collection of bitters now. I'm serious; I have ten different kinds, at least. More, now-- my sister Fiona just gave me two bottles of homemade bitters. Oy.
Yeah so mostly the whole time I've been gone has been more of the same-- I lost my mind, mostly, but I'm getting by.
Hey, my roller derby team's going on 3 years of being undefeated. Finals are June 1. Let's see how that goes, eh?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-05-19 05:56 am (UTC)Savannah is a beautiful city. It kind of reminds me of a bigger-city version of Charleston. You got some great shots! Did you take most of those? I love wandering through those old southern cemeteries. Shocking cultural differences also. And the number of women of childbearing age. Wow!
no subject
Date: 2013-05-19 10:56 am (UTC)I keep joking with my sister that if I were going to steal a baby it would be her middle child, but she's stopped laughing so I'll stop making the joke. I really would steal him, though, he's hilarious. Except that if his blood sugar gets the slightest bit low he becomes a bear for at least an hour, with screaming and growling and roaring and a complete lack of susceptibility to reasoning. They have a technique of shoving food into him the second he wakes up in the mornings, to prevent fatalities in the house.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-19 09:14 am (UTC)I have no advice re: babies, because I don't tend to appreciate kids at all until they can express what they want. I am Unnatural.
And lowbrow humour is so great because it's universal. Sophisticated humour requires all sorts of elitist background knowledge, pah, but come on -- hairy balls! Everyone understands those.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-19 11:01 am (UTC)I had very little use for babies until relatively recently, preferring to do the mandatory cooing thing that is expected from a circumspect distance, but they're just so goddamned interesting.
Hairy balls are intrinsically humorous without context, unlike more sophisticated things. I get the impression Snapchat is more normally used to send pictures of a more genuinely risque nature, or possibly even to spread gossip or snark, but my team is either far above or far below such things, depending on one's perspective. :)
no subject
Date: 2013-05-21 01:55 am (UTC)I watched a video of two men being given electro-shocks to simulate labor and they were screaming and crying and I nearly had a panic attack. Then I watched a video of a woman and she was very calm and I was suddenly suspicious that they edit those videos deliberately to not scare the rest of us off the idea.
And then, OMG, how am I going to pay for this child? And I have to RAISE IT RIGHT. This is terrifying.
But the whole relationship thing is tricky too. Very tricky. I'm sorry you're in that situation.