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dragonlady7I need new music. I need a lot of things. I have had that Mountain Goats song This Year in my head all day. The verses have basically no bearing on my life-- I never drank as a teenager, never had a broken home, never played video games, none of it-- and the video ought not to resonate, but the chorus, which is a simple repetition of the sentence "I am gonna make it through this year / if it kills me", combined with the singer's dead-eyed, sweat-slicked face in the video (in which he has a head injury and the blood trickles slowly down from his temple to his jaw through the course of the video), has taken up irrevocable residence in my mind. I repeated it a bunch today. My life, of course, isn't nearly so hard as all that. And the person who first linked me to the video (I think... it was a while ago) was going through much more difficult things than I at the time. But anyway. That's my current state. I am gonna make it through to the end of this calendar year, at least, even if it fucking kills me. Argh.
I have a gameplan for tomorrow. This is basically my only day off in December. I am going to do all of my Christmas preparations then. Part of this was going to involve a mad dash to Canada, but since the product we were going to go and get is no longer manufactured, at the very least, as a tiny mercy, we are spared dealing with the border on Christmas Eve Eve. I don't know what Z's mom was thinking, but she wanted us to go there. Please no. Thank you, Molson, for discontinuing the only thing Z's mom ever loved. I mean, OK, that came out wrong. Sorry.
Need to make a zillion mini-quiches. (Need a recipe for same. And, um, the equipment to make them. We'll figure it out.) Need to frost cookies, oh yes. Need to finish at least one snuggie. Need to buy several items. Well, it's a good thing I didn't mail out the gifts to my remote kinfolks because some may need to be pillaged and replaced later; we won't see my family, but we will see Z's, so maybe they'll be getting some things I'd meant to give others... Shhh.
I hope the only online things I bought come in, or I'll be somewhat screwed. They should've been here today. Oops.
I tried to buy a couple of things today. Ran into Barnes & Noble on my way to work. About had a nervous breakdown. So... many... books... don't know... what... ARGH! I totally flipped out and grabbed something random and paid for it and ran out of the store hyperventilating.
Did I mention what a weird morning I had? I had the morning off, and it took me 2 hours to get the strength up to get out of bed, and I was ravenous and dizzy and had to cook breakfast whilst clinging to counters and taking sit-on-the-floor breaks. It was weird and unpleasant. Got nothing really done before work. Had planned on so much on my Morning Off. Urgh.
On the upside, while sitting after breakfast and waiting for the blood sugar to normalize, I did get quite a bit written on the novel. Scrivener is still working well for me, and I hope Z actually buys it for me for Xmas or I'll be sad. I have now redone the beginning, plotted the entire novel, and written the climactic scene. It makes sense for the first time. This is, I remind you, a novel I began to write seriously in 2003. I never had a climax or conclusion for it. Not ever. I only had tacked-on sad little pieces of crap. So I'm totally astonished that it makes sense. I had hoped to get the beginning banged into better shape for a possible beta exchange, but never did; I may start posting excerpts at Dreamwidth to motivate me. We'll see.
Once I make it through this year.
I have a gameplan for tomorrow. This is basically my only day off in December. I am going to do all of my Christmas preparations then. Part of this was going to involve a mad dash to Canada, but since the product we were going to go and get is no longer manufactured, at the very least, as a tiny mercy, we are spared dealing with the border on Christmas Eve Eve. I don't know what Z's mom was thinking, but she wanted us to go there. Please no. Thank you, Molson, for discontinuing the only thing Z's mom ever loved. I mean, OK, that came out wrong. Sorry.
Need to make a zillion mini-quiches. (Need a recipe for same. And, um, the equipment to make them. We'll figure it out.) Need to frost cookies, oh yes. Need to finish at least one snuggie. Need to buy several items. Well, it's a good thing I didn't mail out the gifts to my remote kinfolks because some may need to be pillaged and replaced later; we won't see my family, but we will see Z's, so maybe they'll be getting some things I'd meant to give others... Shhh.
I hope the only online things I bought come in, or I'll be somewhat screwed. They should've been here today. Oops.
I tried to buy a couple of things today. Ran into Barnes & Noble on my way to work. About had a nervous breakdown. So... many... books... don't know... what... ARGH! I totally flipped out and grabbed something random and paid for it and ran out of the store hyperventilating.
Did I mention what a weird morning I had? I had the morning off, and it took me 2 hours to get the strength up to get out of bed, and I was ravenous and dizzy and had to cook breakfast whilst clinging to counters and taking sit-on-the-floor breaks. It was weird and unpleasant. Got nothing really done before work. Had planned on so much on my Morning Off. Urgh.
On the upside, while sitting after breakfast and waiting for the blood sugar to normalize, I did get quite a bit written on the novel. Scrivener is still working well for me, and I hope Z actually buys it for me for Xmas or I'll be sad. I have now redone the beginning, plotted the entire novel, and written the climactic scene. It makes sense for the first time. This is, I remind you, a novel I began to write seriously in 2003. I never had a climax or conclusion for it. Not ever. I only had tacked-on sad little pieces of crap. So I'm totally astonished that it makes sense. I had hoped to get the beginning banged into better shape for a possible beta exchange, but never did; I may start posting excerpts at Dreamwidth to motivate me. We'll see.
Once I make it through this year.
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Date: 2009-12-23 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 02:06 pm (UTC)Oh, I bought this book (http://www.amazon.com/Extraordinary-Chickens-Stephen-Green-Armytage/dp/0810933438), solely because in my desperate haze, i glimpsed the cover and laughed my ass off.