tired

[dragonlady7]

Why, oh why, did I think that going to practice after spending the whole day, and I do mean the whole day, gardening would be a good idea?
I am so beat. It's not that any one part of my body hurts-- which I think is responsible for my fallacious (is that a word? it should be) thinking that I hadn't really worked *that* hard-- it's just that all of me feels like it's made of lead.
I know that's good for me. And i used to work about this hard almost every day, when I was waitressing and skating.
But I am such a wuss. I worked for nearly 8 solid hours in that garden, swinging a rake/cultivator thing, shoveling, hauling stuff, bending and lifting and straining. Then I made dinner, which was relatively easy, but involved a lot of attention. And then I sat and stared at tattooed naked chicks for a while, which was neat. (Some blog about alt-porn. Somehow I'd never heard of such a thing. It seems a bit pretentious, and pats itself on the back a lot about not being just 'busty blond bimbos', and the blogger said negative things about blonde models, like hello, you're looking at a fucking naked chick, stop being so picky. And of course, the "curvy" girls were like a size ten. Very alt. Really. But it was diverting, and mostly I looked at their tattoos.
I want a tattoo, but I don't actually want one. I want the concept of having a tattoo. But I can't commit. I'm terrible at commitment. Oy. It's not even the pain that deters me, it's just the having the same thing on me forever that does.
Oh, and also the expense. I sort of forget what it was like to have disposable income. Right at the moment, I actually need to go grocery shopping and stock up on staples, but am making little runs and eking through on creative use of what I have, because I don't think I can afford a full grocery trip just right now. Yes, it's sort of that bad. Ugh.
So money to pay some artist to draw something on me?
Yeah. Whatever.

Oh. I am so tired. Why am I not asleep? Because arising from this couch would require strength, which I don't have.

Comments

[theysleptwhile.livejournal.com]

I've never commented,so perhaps you will forgive me that my first is about alt-porn, which, in theory, is not a bad idea, as far as porn goes. That a porn viewer might wish to view something besides a too-busty, thin waisted blond is for some a radical idea. I doubt very much that Suicide Girls was the first site to vigorously pursue such a wild notion (in the last 10 years), but they seem to have made it more "mainstream." When they started, I became aware of them three states residency ago - so that's a long time - and through the aegis of my wife, who was commenting that here, finally, someone was taking the notion that women could be inked, curvy, embonpoint even, and still be attractive to other humans. Unfortunately, alt-porn has been reduced to large-breasted, thin-waisted blondes WITH TATTOOS. Maybe their hair is dyed. But heaven forfend their body type differs from that you'd find in mainstream pornography. "Alt-porn" is a joke.

I also like the concept of a tattoo, but am a great wuss. I even have planned tattoos, but fled to Asia before my wife could make me follow through. Hooray for Asia!

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't mean to not reply to this. Hah, the tab has been open in the background of my browser since I got the comment in the first place.
Yeah, I noticed the whole reductive nature of it-- at this point, alt-porn and regular porn are pretty much the same thing. (Porn has always been innovative/adaptive like this, whatever people say.) There is apparently one fat chick in all of alt-porn. And almost nobody's black, unless that's the specific fetish being catered to.
Though I must mention, as a blonde, I've always been annoyed at everyone else's assumption that blonde is the default. I still get blonde jokes lobbed at me. Worse is the assumption, by everyone, that I somehow get some sort of privilege in my life from having blond hair and big boobs. Hi, not once have I ever gotten out of anything, cut the line, or gotten any favors from anyone, but I have gotten cut in line, and had the book thrown at me, because of the assumption that this was the case. So I really resent the conflation of blonde-ness with whatever it's conflated with.
Though that's really a separate rant.
Anyway, mostly I was just commenting to say I totally agree and know what you mean. And I didn't mean to leave this comment dangling there in the we-sort-of-only-just-met awkward limbo.

[theysleptwhile.livejournal.com]

No worries. I mentioned I was abroad when I commented, and in fact I still am. My net access leaves much to be desired, so I only sort noticed that you never responded. The worst I could have thought was that I horrified you with my opinion and you decided to have no truck with me whatever. But that wasn't the case, so hooray for sort-of-just-met-you-friend limbo.

Enjoy Pennsic. I never went and am long since out of the scene. Do you know Jhonndo Oakenshield (I think that's his last name)? He's a brewer, a fighter, and the only person I know who went nearly every year. Haven't spoken to him in years, but if you do know him (and see him by chance) tell him Benno, Maud's friend, says hi.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Heh, I will try to say hi to this person, but do recall that there's an annual attendance of around 13,000 at this thing (this year tentatively looks to break records), so unless I've got more to go on than that, I probably won't be able to find him. But if I happen to do so, I will certainly mention it.
:)

[theysleptwhile.livejournal.com]

You'll get this after Pennsic, I know, but I didn't honestly expect you to be able to say anything to anybody for me there. But he is from right next door, in Illinois, so I thought there might be some chance of your having run across him at one of the more local events in the middle kingdom there. Still, this sounds like quitter talk. :)

Hope you had fun!

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Illinois is an 8-hour drive, so I don't really know anyone in the Mid kingdom. But yes, I know what you mean.
I am having fun, I'm just home for a lightning visit to fill in at my real life job and pick up Z to bring him out for War week. But I'm having an insanely awesome time, except that it won't stop raining.