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Oct. 12th, 2008 12:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7My knees hurt.
I KNOW. My fucking KNEES hurt.
It may be because the arch-support inserts are what fucked up my foot until I couldn't walk, so I replaced them with shitty homemade ones made of felt and duct tape. But it leaves me with an unpleasant choice: which would I rather destroy, my lower patellar tendons, or the tendons at the top of my left foot?
It's aggravated by my having snagged my foot on another skater's wheels during practice Sunday, but I'm not best pleased either way.
Ice. Ibuprofen. Don't do anything stupid.
Just went to a special hitting practice, we flew a guy in from another league to lead us in some drills and teach us some stuff, which was awesome. I'm not working on inter-league stuff anymore, even though i'm the only one who was last season and I was eager to continue-- others have taken it over, and you know, despite enjoying it, I'm totally ready to have that happen. Suits me pretty okay, really. I most earnestly desire this year to just be in a position where I can't fuck anything up, either by action or inaction. The less important whatever I'm doing is, the better. It goes against almost everything I believe I care about, but in reality, that's really what I need. Ideas, OK, but execution, no. I must not be left in charge of stuff. Because I keep thinking I'm better, but then I try to do something and nooooo. I am burned out and you don't just stop being burned out by thinking positive thoughts. I wish it worked that way, but that intersection of brain and emotion is damaged, and I have got to heal it. (It seems fine, and then something goes wrong, or someone asks me to do something that's not easy, or someone does something that upsets me, and I freak the fuck out like a crazy crazy person.)
Ice ice ice. I have my new WFTDA skills assessments tonight. I was given, by a conscientious teammate, a packet of the new WFTDA 3.1 rules (yes, there are a lot of computer geeks involved in the rules development, why do you ask?) and the skills assessment I will be required to do, but I have not been able to make myself look at it yet. I know, I know. That's this afternoon. I'm actually having a little alcoholic drink for brunch, then I'll crack this paperwork and do some studying. (The assessments are a skills thing, they make you skate 20 laps in under 5 minutes, 5 laps in under 1 minute, etc.-- I just know they've changed it since my first assessments uh two years ago. Which I passed. And I got better since. So we'll see.
Ice ice ice and I'll feel better. They're not as bad as they were last season. And I'm going to not be an idiot, so they won't get that bad.
On a completely other note, I believe Pleco, the last remaining Pescado Non Grata, has passed away. He hasn't moved in several days. I am not a good fish owner. I tried to care for him, but... I just can't be more than fleetingly sad. This makes me a terrible person, but my first thought when I realized he'd stopped moving (though he does that a lot, so I admit I waited about three days before trying to poke him) was, Maybe I can finally get the damn fishtank out of the living room. The filter is so noisy, it takes up so much room, and he's just not very interesting or happy. I hope he has a better next life, because this one pretty well sucked for him, and I'm sorry.
I KNOW. My fucking KNEES hurt.
It may be because the arch-support inserts are what fucked up my foot until I couldn't walk, so I replaced them with shitty homemade ones made of felt and duct tape. But it leaves me with an unpleasant choice: which would I rather destroy, my lower patellar tendons, or the tendons at the top of my left foot?
It's aggravated by my having snagged my foot on another skater's wheels during practice Sunday, but I'm not best pleased either way.
Ice. Ibuprofen. Don't do anything stupid.
Just went to a special hitting practice, we flew a guy in from another league to lead us in some drills and teach us some stuff, which was awesome. I'm not working on inter-league stuff anymore, even though i'm the only one who was last season and I was eager to continue-- others have taken it over, and you know, despite enjoying it, I'm totally ready to have that happen. Suits me pretty okay, really. I most earnestly desire this year to just be in a position where I can't fuck anything up, either by action or inaction. The less important whatever I'm doing is, the better. It goes against almost everything I believe I care about, but in reality, that's really what I need. Ideas, OK, but execution, no. I must not be left in charge of stuff. Because I keep thinking I'm better, but then I try to do something and nooooo. I am burned out and you don't just stop being burned out by thinking positive thoughts. I wish it worked that way, but that intersection of brain and emotion is damaged, and I have got to heal it. (It seems fine, and then something goes wrong, or someone asks me to do something that's not easy, or someone does something that upsets me, and I freak the fuck out like a crazy crazy person.)
Ice ice ice. I have my new WFTDA skills assessments tonight. I was given, by a conscientious teammate, a packet of the new WFTDA 3.1 rules (yes, there are a lot of computer geeks involved in the rules development, why do you ask?) and the skills assessment I will be required to do, but I have not been able to make myself look at it yet. I know, I know. That's this afternoon. I'm actually having a little alcoholic drink for brunch, then I'll crack this paperwork and do some studying. (The assessments are a skills thing, they make you skate 20 laps in under 5 minutes, 5 laps in under 1 minute, etc.-- I just know they've changed it since my first assessments uh two years ago. Which I passed. And I got better since. So we'll see.
Ice ice ice and I'll feel better. They're not as bad as they were last season. And I'm going to not be an idiot, so they won't get that bad.
On a completely other note, I believe Pleco, the last remaining Pescado Non Grata, has passed away. He hasn't moved in several days. I am not a good fish owner. I tried to care for him, but... I just can't be more than fleetingly sad. This makes me a terrible person, but my first thought when I realized he'd stopped moving (though he does that a lot, so I admit I waited about three days before trying to poke him) was, Maybe I can finally get the damn fishtank out of the living room. The filter is so noisy, it takes up so much room, and he's just not very interesting or happy. I hope he has a better next life, because this one pretty well sucked for him, and I'm sorry.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 12:42 am (UTC)Regarding the fishtank: What type of filter do you use? I use a canister filter on mine, and it's fairly quiet. If you decide you want to keep the tank around, perhaps switching to a quieter filter would be an option.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 02:25 am (UTC)The filter wasn't bad, but the water would evaporate within a couple of days to the point that it made splashy noises, and so it just always was splashy. I just don't know if I'm cut out for fish. I may try again, but water changes were just so difficult and messy, I just don't know if it was worth it. I'm really just not a fish person, I think. I love other people's fish!!!!
Kind of like two-year-olds, really...
no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 03:40 am (UTC)Before I had a water softener installed, I used a Python (http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=3910) to do the water changes on my tank. Water changes are a lot easier when you don't have to go around hauling buckets! Still, tanks do require a bit of time every day, and if you're not really a fish person, that may be more fussing than you're willing to do. Certainly you wouldn't be the first person to decide that fish-keeping just isn't your thing! (I think I like my fish so much because they are the easiest pet I can have right now; I just don't have enough time in my life right now for anything much more demanding.)