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dragonlady7I'm in a rotten and very down mood, to the point that Z is reading the Fail Blog and laughing, and I won't let him send me a link to it or even tell me what the pictures are of because I know it would bum me out too much. I fail at life way too often to find it funny when other people do too. At least, in my current mood.
Things that are, at the moment, fail:
* I have a sunburn on my upper ass, in that embarrassing "Yes, you bend over like an old lady when you work in your garden and oh, your fucking pants don't fit, fatass" spot. From the top of my underpants to the middle of my back, there is a big old sunburn, and it's the itchy kind. Motherfucker, my pants don't fit and I'm a fucking fatass. This would not bother me much, because I have been increasingly happy with my increasingly fat ass of late (the more weight I gain, the better I look, I'm serious), but it's the goddamn itchy kind, and also, who the hell gets sunburnt there. I am like one of those lawn ornaments of the bent over lady.
* Twice in a week I have wanted to skip practice, O indulgence of indulgences, but have not been able to do so (it would be so luxurious.... I can't even explain it... I think if I die and go to Heaven, what Heaven would be like for me would be just the constant smug indulgent feeling of skipping roller derby practice and just having amazing sex or maybe amazing cake instead: this is, however, a theoretical feeling because I don't know what that would feel like because I never get to do it) because I have to meet someone there and pick something up from them. And both times, guess what, the person in question has not shown up. The first time, it was a miscommunication, but tonight, I don't know what the deal was.
* Tonight the person who didn't come was supposed to bring money that Z is owed. A lot of money. So that I could deposit it into the bank tomorrow, so that we can go to London. And they didn't show up, so I don't know what's going on with that. Did I mention, it's a lot of fucking money, and also, without it, we do not have money to go to London, and oh, you know what, this is another bullet point of FAIL so I need to put in a carriage return now.
* We are supposed to leave for London on Wednesday. We do not have plane tickets. We do not have hotel rooms. We also do not have wedding presents. We have nothing. We are completely unprepared. And we also don't have money. See above.
* At the practice I wanted to skip tonight, we were doing a drill (which, at least, I was doing fairly awesome at), but then I clipped wheels with someone, and did a clean, straight double-knee fall on my kneepads, and just tweaked the everloving shit out of my left knee. (The worse of the two.) And kicked myself in the shin. And it hurts like the God damn dickens. And I didn't even fall funny, or do anything spectacular. And I tried to just kinda walk it off, but it didn't work. So I'm icing it and took some ibuprofin and I'll stay off it and whatever.
* I was going to exercise every day this month and then yesterday for no reason I didn't. So I fail at that too.
* I decided I would eat ice cream because it would make me feel better, but I just have an upset stomach instead.
There are more things I've recently totally failed at in life, or am currently totally failing at, but I'm mostly just tired of typing right now.
There are tons of good things too, I'm sure, but I'm just sort of not in the mood right now.
Things that are, at the moment, fail:
* I have a sunburn on my upper ass, in that embarrassing "Yes, you bend over like an old lady when you work in your garden and oh, your fucking pants don't fit, fatass" spot. From the top of my underpants to the middle of my back, there is a big old sunburn, and it's the itchy kind. Motherfucker, my pants don't fit and I'm a fucking fatass. This would not bother me much, because I have been increasingly happy with my increasingly fat ass of late (the more weight I gain, the better I look, I'm serious), but it's the goddamn itchy kind, and also, who the hell gets sunburnt there. I am like one of those lawn ornaments of the bent over lady.
* Twice in a week I have wanted to skip practice, O indulgence of indulgences, but have not been able to do so (it would be so luxurious.... I can't even explain it... I think if I die and go to Heaven, what Heaven would be like for me would be just the constant smug indulgent feeling of skipping roller derby practice and just having amazing sex or maybe amazing cake instead: this is, however, a theoretical feeling because I don't know what that would feel like because I never get to do it) because I have to meet someone there and pick something up from them. And both times, guess what, the person in question has not shown up. The first time, it was a miscommunication, but tonight, I don't know what the deal was.
* Tonight the person who didn't come was supposed to bring money that Z is owed. A lot of money. So that I could deposit it into the bank tomorrow, so that we can go to London. And they didn't show up, so I don't know what's going on with that. Did I mention, it's a lot of fucking money, and also, without it, we do not have money to go to London, and oh, you know what, this is another bullet point of FAIL so I need to put in a carriage return now.
* We are supposed to leave for London on Wednesday. We do not have plane tickets. We do not have hotel rooms. We also do not have wedding presents. We have nothing. We are completely unprepared. And we also don't have money. See above.
* At the practice I wanted to skip tonight, we were doing a drill (which, at least, I was doing fairly awesome at), but then I clipped wheels with someone, and did a clean, straight double-knee fall on my kneepads, and just tweaked the everloving shit out of my left knee. (The worse of the two.) And kicked myself in the shin. And it hurts like the God damn dickens. And I didn't even fall funny, or do anything spectacular. And I tried to just kinda walk it off, but it didn't work. So I'm icing it and took some ibuprofin and I'll stay off it and whatever.
* I was going to exercise every day this month and then yesterday for no reason I didn't. So I fail at that too.
* I decided I would eat ice cream because it would make me feel better, but I just have an upset stomach instead.
There are more things I've recently totally failed at in life, or am currently totally failing at, but I'm mostly just tired of typing right now.
There are tons of good things too, I'm sure, but I'm just sort of not in the mood right now.
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 05:41 am (UTC)I really, really hope things work out. Somehow.
To add to your misery...but that's what sisters are for, right?
Date: 2008-04-18 01:57 pm (UTC)Not to add to your misery (hopefully you woke up in a better mood today) I was just wondering if you have a time preference for leaving home and arriving in lovely Savannah? Ticket prices are good now, but...
Good luck with London travel!
Love, sister number one
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 04:44 pm (UTC)I say, go give the universe a kick in the pants!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 07:27 pm (UTC)And if it all goes tits up, just come and visit later in the year when the boy's external and you can spend time hanging out and being vomited on.
Uxxx