silver cat
Apr. 7th, 2008 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7Chita really isn't gray, she's silver. I have nothing else deep to say on that, I just needed a topic.
Having trouble organizing thoughts and being productive-- evidently, I am still recovering today. I did get a bit of work done, laundry, cleaning, and the such. I have made myself a vast collection of lyrics and notations for songs I need to learn. I did a shitload of derby-related e-mailing and online research, for all I was taking today off from that-- oh well, derby waits for no woman.
I also got the remote for my camera to work, hurrah, so I took a bunch of pictures of myself in new clothes I got last week and hadn't yet had time to try on. Funny: from some angles I'm like, Hey, that's not bad, and from others I'm like, Holy cow, there's a lot of me. I have a dress to wear to the wedding, hurrah, and it is very different from anything else I have ever owned, double hurrah, and it looks pretty good, which is a triple hurrah, but my bra shows under it, boo, and I am not sure any of the bras I have will quite work. Which is OK: Safety pins were invented for a reason, but still, bummer.
I also have a swimsuit that I like, for the first time ever. I do look fat in it, but I don't care, which is also a new one for me. Whatever: I am 200 pounds most days (sometimes I'm 195 and sometimes I'm 205 and funny enough, I feel thinner on the heavier days: obviously, whatever), and there is really no point in my pretending that there's anything wrong with that. I know it's normal to be critical of your own figure but I just don't have the attention span for it anymore.
I have some photos taken now, finally, for the photo meme I posted about, oh, six months ago? And I'll post those... later. I have run out of gusto. It is probably silly of me to be considering going to bed at 9:30 on a Monday night, but it is rather tiring to spend a day coughing with a badly bruised (that's my self-diagnosis, anyway) rib, so I reserve the right to go to bed super early like a true geez0r if that's what I want to do. I'm a grown-up and I can do whatever I want. Nyah nyah.
I wish I had more energy, though, because I want to be more productive than I am. Whatever.
Oh, I also cut my own hair today, using the Feye self-trim method, just to see if I could. It worked, though my result was pretty much just straight across-- well, when your hair is down past your hips, it doesn't really show if it's a straight line or not, so it's hard to tell. However, I took less than an inch, all told, and that's not actually enough to make the ends not scraggly. So I will have to either a) do it again, this time with feeling, or b) go with my other half-formed plan of going to a real salon and getting it cut and styled. I was thinking of getting some long layers put in, but the stylist (a fellow skater) kept making me slightly nervous by suggesting shorter styles for me. Not that I think she would cut my hair shorter against my will, but I am slightly worried I'd let her talk me into something that would perhaps look OK for a few weeks, months even, but I'd probably regret right away.
Hey. Don't judge me. I'm a grown-up. I can do what I want. And I've had my hair really long for fifteen years now, and there's a lot of sentimental value in it. And vanity. I know it's a Stereotypical Fat Girl thing to have sentimental long flat straight hair, but I'm kind of over being ashamed of the fat thing so I think I can be over the ashamed of fat-girl hair thing too...
Summer is coming and if I do some gardening this summer, my hair will do its usual thing of bleaching in its own highlights, so I can do prettier things with it. It's a bit flat and dull at the moment. But I am looking forward to a summer, a real summer. We'll see.
Having trouble organizing thoughts and being productive-- evidently, I am still recovering today. I did get a bit of work done, laundry, cleaning, and the such. I have made myself a vast collection of lyrics and notations for songs I need to learn. I did a shitload of derby-related e-mailing and online research, for all I was taking today off from that-- oh well, derby waits for no woman.
I also got the remote for my camera to work, hurrah, so I took a bunch of pictures of myself in new clothes I got last week and hadn't yet had time to try on. Funny: from some angles I'm like, Hey, that's not bad, and from others I'm like, Holy cow, there's a lot of me. I have a dress to wear to the wedding, hurrah, and it is very different from anything else I have ever owned, double hurrah, and it looks pretty good, which is a triple hurrah, but my bra shows under it, boo, and I am not sure any of the bras I have will quite work. Which is OK: Safety pins were invented for a reason, but still, bummer.
I also have a swimsuit that I like, for the first time ever. I do look fat in it, but I don't care, which is also a new one for me. Whatever: I am 200 pounds most days (sometimes I'm 195 and sometimes I'm 205 and funny enough, I feel thinner on the heavier days: obviously, whatever), and there is really no point in my pretending that there's anything wrong with that. I know it's normal to be critical of your own figure but I just don't have the attention span for it anymore.
I have some photos taken now, finally, for the photo meme I posted about, oh, six months ago? And I'll post those... later. I have run out of gusto. It is probably silly of me to be considering going to bed at 9:30 on a Monday night, but it is rather tiring to spend a day coughing with a badly bruised (that's my self-diagnosis, anyway) rib, so I reserve the right to go to bed super early like a true geez0r if that's what I want to do. I'm a grown-up and I can do whatever I want. Nyah nyah.
I wish I had more energy, though, because I want to be more productive than I am. Whatever.
Oh, I also cut my own hair today, using the Feye self-trim method, just to see if I could. It worked, though my result was pretty much just straight across-- well, when your hair is down past your hips, it doesn't really show if it's a straight line or not, so it's hard to tell. However, I took less than an inch, all told, and that's not actually enough to make the ends not scraggly. So I will have to either a) do it again, this time with feeling, or b) go with my other half-formed plan of going to a real salon and getting it cut and styled. I was thinking of getting some long layers put in, but the stylist (a fellow skater) kept making me slightly nervous by suggesting shorter styles for me. Not that I think she would cut my hair shorter against my will, but I am slightly worried I'd let her talk me into something that would perhaps look OK for a few weeks, months even, but I'd probably regret right away.
Hey. Don't judge me. I'm a grown-up. I can do what I want. And I've had my hair really long for fifteen years now, and there's a lot of sentimental value in it. And vanity. I know it's a Stereotypical Fat Girl thing to have sentimental long flat straight hair, but I'm kind of over being ashamed of the fat thing so I think I can be over the ashamed of fat-girl hair thing too...
Summer is coming and if I do some gardening this summer, my hair will do its usual thing of bleaching in its own highlights, so I can do prettier things with it. It's a bit flat and dull at the moment. But I am looking forward to a summer, a real summer. We'll see.
