dragonlady7

So Z just got a spam that linked to this site. How to Propose in Paris? (Link goes to a... mirror of the site, explained below. Better not to link directly to spammers.)
It's poorly-translated, and features a bunch of over-contrived "romantic getaway" packages you can buy so that someone else can propose to your girlfriend for you, basically. There's the one where there's a skywriter, the one where it's on the Jumbo-Tron, the one where you're at dinner and musicians come over and serenade you and it's in the lyrics, the one where you're at a wax museum and one of the statues has a parchment in its hand...
My favorite, however is this one: When You're Too Much Of A Pussy To Kill Her Yourself.

While forming part of the au-dience during a circus perfor-mance, your sweetheart will be the involuntary victim of a knife throwing contest - a prelude to your spectacular declaration of love...

Yes. We promote necrophelia. No I did not click "more information" because I honestly don't want to know.

When this got really hilarious is when Z mused, "I'd like to just find-and-replace every instance of 'declaration of love' with 'penis'."

After flying over the most fa-mous fun park in the world in an ultralight aircraft, your amazing penis will float across the sky right in front of your sweet-heart's dazzling eyes...

After sharing a romantic dinner on an amazingly magical river boat, you'll witness a great illu-sion show during which the ma-gician will reveal your penis...

Ahh.
Edited to add: Done.
But then I became completely enamored of the idea of staging one of these elaborate proposal scenes-- skywriting, Jumbotron, parachute writer, etc-- and instead of it being a marriage proposal, it being a crude sexual proposition instead.
Think of it. The girl, unsuspecting, sitting beside her beau, watching the game... a plane... oh it's a skywriter... Look! "J-e-s-s... It's writing my name! Jessica... will... you... OH my god!!! Oh my god! You didn't! Jessica... will... you... BLOW ME???!!! WHAT???!!"
Tenderly, blushing, he says, "I just didn't know... didn't know how else to ask..."

This amuses me so immensely I briefly considered getting a sex change so I could go and find a girlfriend to do this to. But then I considered two things: 1) FTM totally sucks, you don't get a real working penis, and I'd have to chop off my boobs, and 2) If I had a girlfriend who was serious enough to take me remotely at face value in such a situation, and she wasn't ALREADY blowing me on a regular basis, I would certainly not be together with her.

So, today, I've learned that I'm a misogynist. Actually I just hate chicks that want their dudes to blow $5k on the proposal alone, and I hate the Bridezilla sense of entitlement and ridiculous consumerism that sort of thing engenders. Both in the bride AND the groom.

And that site is ridiculous and poorly translated.