We don't actually manufacture penis-related products.

[dragonlady7]

Dude on phone, probably middle-aged white man: I have a technical question.
Me (usually takes technical questions. Switchboard is busy, don't have time.): One moment please. (Tries all three people taking calls. All are busy or away. Makes a quick decision: if his question's hard, they'd have to put him on hold and call me anyway.) I'm sorry, sir, all our reps are busy. When I'm not manning the switchboard I do answer the technical calls, so maybe I can help you.
Dude: I told you what I need, I have a technical question.
Me, patiently: Yes, you said. Can you tell me what the question is? I can probably answer it.
Dude: I want to talk to a man.
Me, confused because we have only one man in the office: Excuse me?
Dude, slowly and clearly: I want to talk to a man. A male.
Me: *slams phone down*


Immediately, I call the office manager. "I'm sorry," I say, "I just hung up on a man, here's what he said."
"Awesome," says the office manager. "Go take a coffee break. I'd've hung up on him too."


I go, pour a coffee, hyperventilate in the bathroom, come back. "He called back," she says. "Or, I think he did. I answered the phone, he said, 'You're a loser, you know that?', and I said, 'What?' and he hung up."
"Has to have been him," I say.
"Man what a douche," she says.
"I feel bad now," I say.
"Don't," she says.
"No," I said. "What if his question was really sensitive? Like, I mean, he had his penis stuck in the thing. I shouldn't have refused to accomodate him."
She laughs.
"The only thing is, there isn't even a man in the office to give the call to," I go on, reflectively.

Comments

[cofax7]

Driveby via jonquil's flist: I love this story. What a jackass.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

It still makes me mad to think back on it. Ooh! What an idiot! The part that makes me so angry is, of course, that he still undoubtedly thinks that his request was perfectly justified and I am the one who was wrong.

[heebiejeebie.livejournal.com]

wow

[mother2012.livejournal.com]

Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm fuckin' *proud* that you hung up on him!

Go the Dragon Lady!

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Everyone in the office agrees with me.
Except the sales manager.
The only man in the office.
"You should've given me the call," he said.
"You weren't at your desk," I said. "And also, I was incoherent with rage, so no."
"Don't do that again," he said.
"If an incident that horrible repeats itself," I said, "I cannot promise what my actions will be. And Jesus, someone that much of a dick wouldn't be satisfied with any technical answers we could give him anyway."

[buschibaby.livejournal.com]

He probably did have his penis stuck in it. Sounds like a filter-fucker to me.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

He just seemed so smug. Nobody with their cock in a small household appliance has any business sounding so damn smug.

[kittyc1978.livejournal.com]

pigs deserve to be hung up on!

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

At the least!!

I wish I could've re-educated him a bit, but there just wasn't time.

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

He wanted to talk to a man. You should have honored his request - put him on hold for a minute or two while you round up the most imbecilic male who works in the building to talk to him. Maybe after a few minutes of trying to get technical help from a janitor or dockworker, the moron would have realized that possession of a penis does not automatically confer knowledge of anything except how to paint your name in the snow with your pee.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

The shipping clerk walked by and I thought immediately, "Dammit, I should've just had him talk to Willy." Willy's great, and friendly, and knows a ton about UPS, and he knows all about how much our machines weigh, but he's got no freaking clue about how the damn thing works. That ain't his job.

But you know what would happen then. He'd want to talk to a white man.

Then I'd give him Jimmy the maintenance guy. He empties the garbages.

...
I wouldn't really want to do that, though. Because both of those guys would probably not think it was funny either. Jimmy's pretty touchy about people thinking he's "slow" and would probably feel like we were making fun of him.
It's funny to imagine doing it, though. Willy would probably have played along-- he's got a good sense of humor. But I don't know him well enough to know that for sure.

[ithilwen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it would only work if the guy in question had a good sense of humor, understood why you wanted him to help, and was willing to string along the jerk. Teaching the sexist moron a lesson, satisfying though it would have been, isn't worth upsetting your non-jerky male colleagues.