sense of humor: low and falling
Sep. 13th, 2007 10:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7Eyes: were dryish, but tolerable last night. This morning I woke and was paranoid, but of course once I was up and about they were fine.
At work again, and they're dry and I'm paranoid. They're not as bad as yesterday, and I have some eyedrops, so they're OK. (I looked and found some that didn't have that scary vasoconstrictor shit that Visine uses, so I can use them more than... twice in a day.) They're some Bausch & Lomb thing, and they're for old people because they didn't have the non-vasoconstricting ones for not-old-people in the Giant Walgreens we went to.
This one has propylene glycol and glycerine in it.
I don't have redeye. Even at their worst yesterday, the only red was where the edges of my eyelids were raw. My eyes themselves, they are not red or bloodshot. Vasoconstrictors will not help me. I don't need to get the red out. I just need there to be some kind of tears or moisture in them.
In short, this is getting old. I have no sense of humor and everything annoys me.
Whatever doesn't annoy me, because it is nontrivial, stresses me out. I'm flipping the fuck out over tiny things. It's great!
I can see, but I just keep panicking when I remember how much pain I was in and how ineffective I was by about 2 pm yesterday, and how frustrating the next three hours were. If it's too bad, I will leave early today, it was stupid of me to sit there trying to be useful. I couldn't even answer the phones because I feel helpless with my eyes shut and that makes me really ineffective and also snappy and rude.
The a/c is turned down today, so I don't have an Arctic Breeze blowing directly into my eyes. But I'm worse now than I was at 10 am yesterday, so I'm not hopeful. A coworker suggested moving my desk, but I don't think it'll help. (There's an A/C vent right over my current location.)
Mostly the problem is, of course, that it's bothering me, so I can't think of anything else, so I'm paying it too much attention.
Also propylene glycol makes my eyeballs feel funny, and the amount of extra-hard blinking I'm doing only makes it feel worse-- there's just this feeling of pressure, now.
Z's comment was that I've probably got the glaucoma and my company should let me go smoke weed in the back room. Just because his company actively encourages such behavior doesn't mean mine will even allow the suggestion of it, was my humorless response.
At work again, and they're dry and I'm paranoid. They're not as bad as yesterday, and I have some eyedrops, so they're OK. (I looked and found some that didn't have that scary vasoconstrictor shit that Visine uses, so I can use them more than... twice in a day.) They're some Bausch & Lomb thing, and they're for old people because they didn't have the non-vasoconstricting ones for not-old-people in the Giant Walgreens we went to.
This one has propylene glycol and glycerine in it.
I don't have redeye. Even at their worst yesterday, the only red was where the edges of my eyelids were raw. My eyes themselves, they are not red or bloodshot. Vasoconstrictors will not help me. I don't need to get the red out. I just need there to be some kind of tears or moisture in them.
In short, this is getting old. I have no sense of humor and everything annoys me.
Whatever doesn't annoy me, because it is nontrivial, stresses me out. I'm flipping the fuck out over tiny things. It's great!
I can see, but I just keep panicking when I remember how much pain I was in and how ineffective I was by about 2 pm yesterday, and how frustrating the next three hours were. If it's too bad, I will leave early today, it was stupid of me to sit there trying to be useful. I couldn't even answer the phones because I feel helpless with my eyes shut and that makes me really ineffective and also snappy and rude.
The a/c is turned down today, so I don't have an Arctic Breeze blowing directly into my eyes. But I'm worse now than I was at 10 am yesterday, so I'm not hopeful. A coworker suggested moving my desk, but I don't think it'll help. (There's an A/C vent right over my current location.)
Mostly the problem is, of course, that it's bothering me, so I can't think of anything else, so I'm paying it too much attention.
Also propylene glycol makes my eyeballs feel funny, and the amount of extra-hard blinking I'm doing only makes it feel worse-- there's just this feeling of pressure, now.
Z's comment was that I've probably got the glaucoma and my company should let me go smoke weed in the back room. Just because his company actively encourages such behavior doesn't mean mine will even allow the suggestion of it, was my humorless response.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 03:44 pm (UTC)(Glaucoma's one of those things you wouldn't know you had until a doctor told you. My dad's had it for a number of years.)
Sweetie, if your eyes are bothering you this badly, I'd say go see a doctor. It's probably something as simple as seasonal allergies, but better to have a doctor tell you that than sit and worry. Has your insurance kicked in at your job yet?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 03:54 pm (UTC)I went and got my own insurance through the state government.
It's not very good. But it's sort of cheap.
I have to pay $25 for each doctor's visit.
And it does not cover any prescriptions.
It is bad enough that it bothers me, but it is not so bad that I think they'll be able to do anything about it. I am concerned that my hypochondriac tendencies have kicked in and so it is worse because I have noticed it and am upset about it.
(Adding support to this hypothesis is that I had told myself that if it was bad today, I'd leave at noon. It is 5 til, I have not reapplied the eyedrops since 10:45, and my eyes are within normal parameters-- not fine, but in a state that normally probably wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't notice especially.)
And if they refer me to an opthalmologist, oh guess what, that's not covered either. Those motherfuckers are expensive.
I have a long history of "toughing it out" with difficult medical conditions, until I can't take it anymore (often weeks), and then I go to the doctor, finally. The doctor says, "Um, there's nothing wrong with you," and the horrible problem... never happens again.
Either that or they say "it's just N" and give me a $95 prescription that doesn't help, and the problem takes another 5 years to go away on its own. (Like the eczema. It basically cost me $115 to have her say, "Yeah, it sucks.")
no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 06:27 pm (UTC)are you dehydrated?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 07:30 pm (UTC)I have a habit of trying to drink 8 glasses of water every day at work, so I don't think I'm dehydrated... I've been making an extra effort, though, and the extra effort seems to help... It's really hard to say, though. I wish I weren't such a dang hypochondriac-- it's really hard to tell what's actually helping and what I just think is helping.