resolutions?
Jan. 2nd, 2007 09:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7"So," Z asked me over dinner last night, "what are your plans for 2007?"
"Hm," I said, "maybe I'd better hear yours first."
"Mine might depend on yours," he said.
"Mine might depend on yours," I answered.
We were at an impasse. Then Z hit upon a great idea: he is going to publish a romance novel. A cheap, formulaic category romance, under a ridiculous pseudonym. He later checked all the Harlequin guidelines.
More serious plans were discussed, but to no real end.
Z mentioned that he'd like to fix up this house. I pointed out that owning it might be a good first step in that process. I also mentioned that buying it together would be easier than either of us buying it alone, but that I wouldn't be willing to be a co-owner without some sort of legal bond, although I didn't say the M word. He nodded thoughtfully.
I mentioned that my mother and father had raised some pretty compelling points about the advantages of the way of life they had chosen, what with a wedding and some kids and whatnot. Z asked, shrewdly, whether they'd raised similar points to my younger sister, whose boyfriend they dislike, and I answered that they had said nothing of the sort. Then he asked why they were so interested in my doing these things, and I at first shrugged and said "They want grandkids?" Z pointed out that my older sister was already engaged in an attempt to produce those, and I hit upon the better answer: "They think that would make me happy."
He didn't ask whether I agreed.
He then mentioned that his uncle-and-girlfriend have been together for 20 years this year, never having been married. But both of them were married to other people when younger, and the girlfriend has children. His uncle does not, but she does.
So then he went on to his cousin, who is not married and is happily with a boyfriend of at least six years. She has no children. But she, also, was married when younger.
I am not sure whether he was trying to make the point that being married is unimportant, but I already knew that not everybody does it. What I also knew is that many people don't but it's not necessarily what makes them happiest. And I found it significant that his examples were older divorced people. They'd at least tried it once.
We ended up discussing weddings and how much fun they were versus apocryphal weddings-that-sucked tales, but neither of us had ever gone to a really bad one.
The upshot in the end was nothing, but at least the topic was raised. I didn't bother getting into the bullshitting about what do I want vs. what society wants me to want, as for some reason I'm feeling a lot more levelheaded about that sort of thing than I was over the summer. Society wants me to want a big rock and a Big Day, and I don't really want either of those things. Society also wants me to pester Z for these things, and I have to say, I don't want that either. What good is wanting something so badly you make someone else do it against his will? Then it's no fun for either person and it winds up being a big mess and you're worse off than you were without it.
I know, I know, that was boring. Sorry. Z's idea of writing a Harlequin romance was much more amusing. He wanted to bet me that he'd do it-- idea to submission in twelve months. I didn't take the bet. I probably should have, because I doubt he'll really do it-- it takes him six hours to write a 500-word article, at the very least, so I can't imagine how long 50,000 words would take him. But it would certainly be amusing.
I am so logy today, I don't quite know what to do with myself. I should do the laundry but Z failed to give me any of his dirty clothes, and I don't really know where to go to hunt them down. If I am super super lazy I won't do the laundry today either. And then I can go to work naked. Yay! :/
"Hm," I said, "maybe I'd better hear yours first."
"Mine might depend on yours," he said.
"Mine might depend on yours," I answered.
We were at an impasse. Then Z hit upon a great idea: he is going to publish a romance novel. A cheap, formulaic category romance, under a ridiculous pseudonym. He later checked all the Harlequin guidelines.
More serious plans were discussed, but to no real end.
Z mentioned that he'd like to fix up this house. I pointed out that owning it might be a good first step in that process. I also mentioned that buying it together would be easier than either of us buying it alone, but that I wouldn't be willing to be a co-owner without some sort of legal bond, although I didn't say the M word. He nodded thoughtfully.
I mentioned that my mother and father had raised some pretty compelling points about the advantages of the way of life they had chosen, what with a wedding and some kids and whatnot. Z asked, shrewdly, whether they'd raised similar points to my younger sister, whose boyfriend they dislike, and I answered that they had said nothing of the sort. Then he asked why they were so interested in my doing these things, and I at first shrugged and said "They want grandkids?" Z pointed out that my older sister was already engaged in an attempt to produce those, and I hit upon the better answer: "They think that would make me happy."
He didn't ask whether I agreed.
He then mentioned that his uncle-and-girlfriend have been together for 20 years this year, never having been married. But both of them were married to other people when younger, and the girlfriend has children. His uncle does not, but she does.
So then he went on to his cousin, who is not married and is happily with a boyfriend of at least six years. She has no children. But she, also, was married when younger.
I am not sure whether he was trying to make the point that being married is unimportant, but I already knew that not everybody does it. What I also knew is that many people don't but it's not necessarily what makes them happiest. And I found it significant that his examples were older divorced people. They'd at least tried it once.
We ended up discussing weddings and how much fun they were versus apocryphal weddings-that-sucked tales, but neither of us had ever gone to a really bad one.
The upshot in the end was nothing, but at least the topic was raised. I didn't bother getting into the bullshitting about what do I want vs. what society wants me to want, as for some reason I'm feeling a lot more levelheaded about that sort of thing than I was over the summer. Society wants me to want a big rock and a Big Day, and I don't really want either of those things. Society also wants me to pester Z for these things, and I have to say, I don't want that either. What good is wanting something so badly you make someone else do it against his will? Then it's no fun for either person and it winds up being a big mess and you're worse off than you were without it.
I know, I know, that was boring. Sorry. Z's idea of writing a Harlequin romance was much more amusing. He wanted to bet me that he'd do it-- idea to submission in twelve months. I didn't take the bet. I probably should have, because I doubt he'll really do it-- it takes him six hours to write a 500-word article, at the very least, so I can't imagine how long 50,000 words would take him. But it would certainly be amusing.
I am so logy today, I don't quite know what to do with myself. I should do the laundry but Z failed to give me any of his dirty clothes, and I don't really know where to go to hunt them down. If I am super super lazy I won't do the laundry today either. And then I can go to work naked. Yay! :/
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-02 05:49 pm (UTC)Actually, I did laundry yesterday, but Trevor is currently doing his laundry on his own, which means he has not done laundry at all. So maybe *he* can go to work naked.
On the romance story note: take the bet, then race him to see who can finish one first. Then submit them both. :)