nnnnnoooooooooooooo

[dragonlady7]

leopard_lady had a brief friendslocked rant recently titled "OMGWFTNO" and for some reason that 'word' has filled me entirely with mirth. Which is nice, except that it's so resonant with me precisely because it is applicable.

See, I went outside a moment ago and discovered that someone had trodden on one of the flowers in my front yard.
One of the flowers several feet away from the WALKWAY that takes you safely through the flowerbeds.
THERE'S A WALKWAY.
Which means there's NO REASON to tread on any of the flowers.
It is a nice walkway. It is about 12-18" wide. It is wide enough to walk on.
The flower? There was no reason for it to die.

And I flipped out for a moment, and then paused, and had a screaming-horror realization: I AM THE CRAZY SUBURBANITE UPTIGHT FRUITBAT! I am no better than The Old Bat Next Door!!
OMGWTFNO!
I am ONE HEARTBEAT AWAY from putting up snarky-cutesy signs with no hint of irony whatsoever that say, "Keep the fuck off my flowers bitch", only, in more suburbanite language, probably with a cute pun and maybe a drawing of a bunny or something.

SAVE ME, JEBUS!

But I spent HOURS on that flowerbed. And really, truly, it kills me that someone would step on a flower right near a walkway. Not near enough that it was just them aiming for the walkway and missing. No, far enough away that it's obvious they just said, "fuck this walkway which takes me nearly two feet out of my way, I am striking off cross-country through this flowerbed".
And the flowers aren't even all that close together. You would have to be a complete clod to actually step on one. They're all obnoxiously widely-spaced, because I just planted them and they haven't grown in at all.
And now one right in the middle is snapped off just above the roots. And I am PISSED OFF. Which makes me precisely that which I hate.

NOOOOO.

On another note, Ubermanager has gone on to a bigger better job. Last night he stopped by to say goodbye, and his last words to me were his typical brand of backhanded compliment. "You work hard," he said. "You don't always make the challenge, but you work hard, and that's important."
Don't always make what motherfucking challenge, bitch??!!
Don't get me wrong, I'll miss him, but Jesus. This is the same guy who gave me a score of 100% on my most recent Customer Service Evaluation and then said, "You're good when the volume of business is light like this but you lose it a bit when it gets busy." Motherfucker, Jesus himself loses it a bit when it gets busy.

From which I dedeuce, probably rightly, that Management considers me a bit unreliable and volatile, which, I mean, look at the above rant. Fair enough. But I challenge you to find ANY waitress who isn't at least a little bit unstable and volatile. Jesus.

Except now I'm convulsed with doubt over my spelling of "dedeuce" and yet refuse to look it up. Neurosis! Yay!

Also I am in the crushing depths of just about the worst eggshell-head hangover ever, except I didn't drink last night. This current health issue I'm going through (is it a cold? is it allergies? is it Divine Retribution for my unnamed sins?) is really the pits, as it's bad enough that I suffer constantly, but not bad enough that Karma will let me call in sick. Even though it's the Allentown Art Festival today and I am totally crushed that I can't go.


I need to make myself an OMGWTFNO icon now. thanks, jill.

Comments

[mother2012.livejournal.com]

CRAZY SUBURBANITE UPTIGHT FRUITBAT:

Aaaaah hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Uber manager:

Aarrrrgghhhhh!

"hangover":

DON'T go to work! Go to the Allentown! Call in and tell them that you have the worst case of flu ever, and you don't want to spread it to the rest of the workers so that they're left with no one to work! (And imply that you got it there in the first place.)

[kkatowll.livejournal.com]

deduce. :) blame it on the cold.