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May. 24th, 2006 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7LJ, why do you offer to restore from a saved draft when you ought to know fine well I already published that draft as a full-on post??
Rgh.
This morning I didn't even try to catch the early bus. I'm trying to clean my room. I ought to sort through my clothing and (gasp) throw out that which doesn't fit me or doesn't suit me or I don't like to wear anymore. It's an opportune time for it: I have the money to replace out-of-date pieces with ones that would fit me. But I don't have the guts. Sure, the shirt is faded and stretched, but I bought it in Crete when I was 15, and I may never go there again. Some of the things I can't stand to throw out weren't even mine, originally. There's a long-sleeved maroon-and-navy striped shirt that I believe is homemade, which now has holes in the cuffs of the sleeves: I have a photo of my mother, aged about twenty-six, wearing it and a pair of faded bellbottom jeans, her brown hair in a messy ponytail as she looks wearily at the camera over the wheelbarrow full of cement she's pushing. She told me to throw the shirt out when I was in high school, and I refused. I still refuse.
I'm currently wearing a pair of jeans that must be a size twelve, probably date from 1995 or so, and have holes in the knee and thigh, and the cuffs have been trodden on until they're nearly detached. They just barely fit me now that I'm thinner. How long did I have them while I was a size 16 and couldn't even zip them up? Why did I hang onto them, when they were so worn? I don't even remember these jeans, which ones they are, why I'd still have them. They're not particularly comfortable. But it seems wrong to throw them out. I couldn't say why it seems wrong, it just does. I am hopeless.
I should, right now, go through all my possessions and consolidate or get rid of the ones that don't satisfy. Both computers that irk me should go, and I should get one I like. All the faded, worn, stretched t-shirts should go, regardless of their history.
Will I do it?
Maybe.
On another note, I just got the bill for my smaller student loan, and am psyching myself to pay the whole thing off in one fell swoop. It's small, just over a thousand dollars-- I had to take it out in my final year of college because the financial aid office decided to reduce the amount of my federally-subsidized loan when my sister graduated, despite the fact that my younger sister started college that same year.
It's not a very good loan-- it's higher-interest than the other one, the five-digit one. But for some reason it feels weird to think of not having it. I should throw a party, or something.
Rgh.
This morning I didn't even try to catch the early bus. I'm trying to clean my room. I ought to sort through my clothing and (gasp) throw out that which doesn't fit me or doesn't suit me or I don't like to wear anymore. It's an opportune time for it: I have the money to replace out-of-date pieces with ones that would fit me. But I don't have the guts. Sure, the shirt is faded and stretched, but I bought it in Crete when I was 15, and I may never go there again. Some of the things I can't stand to throw out weren't even mine, originally. There's a long-sleeved maroon-and-navy striped shirt that I believe is homemade, which now has holes in the cuffs of the sleeves: I have a photo of my mother, aged about twenty-six, wearing it and a pair of faded bellbottom jeans, her brown hair in a messy ponytail as she looks wearily at the camera over the wheelbarrow full of cement she's pushing. She told me to throw the shirt out when I was in high school, and I refused. I still refuse.
I'm currently wearing a pair of jeans that must be a size twelve, probably date from 1995 or so, and have holes in the knee and thigh, and the cuffs have been trodden on until they're nearly detached. They just barely fit me now that I'm thinner. How long did I have them while I was a size 16 and couldn't even zip them up? Why did I hang onto them, when they were so worn? I don't even remember these jeans, which ones they are, why I'd still have them. They're not particularly comfortable. But it seems wrong to throw them out. I couldn't say why it seems wrong, it just does. I am hopeless.
I should, right now, go through all my possessions and consolidate or get rid of the ones that don't satisfy. Both computers that irk me should go, and I should get one I like. All the faded, worn, stretched t-shirts should go, regardless of their history.
Will I do it?
Maybe.
On another note, I just got the bill for my smaller student loan, and am psyching myself to pay the whole thing off in one fell swoop. It's small, just over a thousand dollars-- I had to take it out in my final year of college because the financial aid office decided to reduce the amount of my federally-subsidized loan when my sister graduated, despite the fact that my younger sister started college that same year.
It's not a very good loan-- it's higher-interest than the other one, the five-digit one. But for some reason it feels weird to think of not having it. I should throw a party, or something.
