there are times
Mar. 11th, 2006 10:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7There are times when it becomes very depressing to have a boyfriend who is not fond of physical contact.
Times that include times like now, when I am horribly sore and aching all over, and asked if I could maybe get a backrub, and he said sure (after criticizing me for asking too indirectly), but then when I came to sit at the foot of his bed to perhaps collect on this, instead he said he was sleepy and asked me to please turn the overhead light out on my way out.
So, no backrub, no snuggles, and I stubbed my toe twice in the dark on my way to get into my own (cold, empty) bed, where I am now sitting and feeling rather wretched.
There are also times when one regrets not having the balls to hit people when they're mean. But you know what? Whimpering "you promised you'd be nice to me" never actually works, because then you get an irritated, grudgingly obliged, heavily abridged version of what you wanted in the first place, and you're too wretched to actually enjoy it. But if you don't remind someone they promised to be nice to you, and they're not, then what do you get? You get to sit around and feel wretched. Which is worse? I couldn't tell you.
A question: I have become socialized, through much of my life, to be polite and unassuming, and not ask for things directly, but rather to attempt to get someone to agree upon things by a circuitious route. Z hates this, and thus if I do not ask for something directly, I will not get it. Why must it be that everything I have learned about behavior must be wrong, and his is right? If I want something and have to ask for it and then get it out of duty, then you know what? I don't want it. That's not worth having.
But my back is actually really fucking sore.
The lesson here is that you should really, really tip your server, because a whole goddamn 8 hours of getting treated like dirt has made her so miserable that she hates everything. And it's your fault, you cheap asshole. Die in a muddy ditch and get eaten by worms.
Times that include times like now, when I am horribly sore and aching all over, and asked if I could maybe get a backrub, and he said sure (after criticizing me for asking too indirectly), but then when I came to sit at the foot of his bed to perhaps collect on this, instead he said he was sleepy and asked me to please turn the overhead light out on my way out.
So, no backrub, no snuggles, and I stubbed my toe twice in the dark on my way to get into my own (cold, empty) bed, where I am now sitting and feeling rather wretched.
There are also times when one regrets not having the balls to hit people when they're mean. But you know what? Whimpering "you promised you'd be nice to me" never actually works, because then you get an irritated, grudgingly obliged, heavily abridged version of what you wanted in the first place, and you're too wretched to actually enjoy it. But if you don't remind someone they promised to be nice to you, and they're not, then what do you get? You get to sit around and feel wretched. Which is worse? I couldn't tell you.
A question: I have become socialized, through much of my life, to be polite and unassuming, and not ask for things directly, but rather to attempt to get someone to agree upon things by a circuitious route. Z hates this, and thus if I do not ask for something directly, I will not get it. Why must it be that everything I have learned about behavior must be wrong, and his is right? If I want something and have to ask for it and then get it out of duty, then you know what? I don't want it. That's not worth having.
But my back is actually really fucking sore.
The lesson here is that you should really, really tip your server, because a whole goddamn 8 hours of getting treated like dirt has made her so miserable that she hates everything. And it's your fault, you cheap asshole. Die in a muddy ditch and get eaten by worms.
