windy

Feb. 5th, 2006 05:08 am
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (headphones me pen)
[personal profile] dragonlady7
I dislike windy weather. I really do. Obviously I live in the wrong climate. But I dislike windy weather. I cannot sleep well on windy nights. I don't just say that because the window beside the head of my bed rattles. I say that because the noises on a windy night unnerve me so much. I am awake, have been awake since four, and am utterly paranoid about everything at the moment. I cannot stop worrying about things. And the wind is howling and moaning and squeaking, and I swear to God a man just shouted something but I know it was the wind. A moment ago a pickup truck was stopped on the street just a few feet down from my house's frontage, and the doors opened and closed several times-- he had his flashers on, I don't know what was going on, and I definitely saw someone walk across the street back to the truck. I became convinced that someone was trying to break into either my house or car or the one next door, and I turned on all my outside lights and stood peering out the front door's little window to see what was going on without myself being seen.
The man-shouting noise just repeated itself-- it's the wind, definitely-- but the gusts are rattling so hard I think I can hear the neighbors' windows. Oh, how I hate it when it's gusty.

One night in Rochester (now there, there is a windy city) it was windy, so windy the house was shaking, and I panicked and had to go sleep on my living room floor because when the house shook, my bed would move as if someone were climbing onto the foot of it, and Jesus that freaked the everloving fuck out of me. It freaks me out now just remembering it. Jesus. Brr. I sat weeping on the couch for an hour because I was so tired and yet was so terrified, and one of the hard things about not living with your Mom anymore is that when it's 3 am and you're terrified, nobody cares.

So I'm in the papasan and am trying to get more of that novel written. I can't do anything noisy because Z can't have gone to bed more than about 2 hours ago-- he's trying to sleep late today so that he can be up all night driving, and it's just as well I'm up because I need to be tired enough tonight to sleep, so that I can take the second driving shift starting from about 4 am or so. Now, I just have to stay up... and lose the paranoid anxiety...

Gosh darn it, I hate when I have to work on that novel I'm jonesing to finish. (The villain's backstory presented itself entire to me yesterday morning while I was at work. God, so goddamn handy, this imagination of mine. Sometimes.)

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dragonlady7

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