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[dragonlady7]

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.


"Well, now, Calvin can run and scream all he likes."

I am in my kitchen, so the nearest book is on the floor of the living room, and that's Volume I of the Calvin & Hobbes Boxed Set Z got for his birthday from his mom.

(I posted in a comment to lenine2's journal, about this meme, that the closest book was a phone book, as I'm at the table in my dinette (which I ought to post pictures of, now that it's been cleaned and rearranged), but actually in linear feet the Calvin & Hobbes book was closer, or at least appeared to be from my vantage points. If that's cheating, I don't know.)

In other news: Am in the middle of my three-day work week and man! I wish I had more time off. But, of course, I must appreciate the money I've earned. It's all sitting in a jar on my kitchen table so I can feel like it's worthwhile.

I've written nearly 7500 words on the Barbarians novel since I started more work on it last week or the week before. Good for me. I've also got it outlined scene-by-scene, so there's hope. But if I had a day off, you know I'd be cleaning the house and painting the World's Ugliest Couch portrait rather than working on it. Oh well. I add about 50-200 words a day, which is better than a sharp stick in the eye, I suppose. I'll be a novelist someday.

Comments

[lenine2.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's cheating to skip the phone book, because if you posted the person listed there with their phone number I have a feeling all of us would be compelled to try the number. I know I would be.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Page 123 in the Talking Phone Book is the Coupons section, and #5 is "All Appliances Parts & Service-- 10% Discount On Parts For The Do-It-Yourselfer", so it's not actually totally unkind of me to post it on the Internet.

But page 123 in the Verizon phone book, which was actually closer in that it was on top, was actually the Residential section, so that would have been less than polite of me.


I cannot help but snicker at the phrase Do-It-Yourselfer, but I believe that phrase is wholly innocent in this country. Still, I now have a filthy limerick I thought long since forgotten stuck in my head and I am going to have to recite it to somebody now.

[lenine2.livejournal.com]

Please recite limerick!

I also snickered at Do-It-Yourselfer. But it seems that these days everything makes me snicker. Maybe I'm going through a second adolescence. I'm sure it can't be the bad influence on LJ.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

OK.
This limerick is best understood as recited in an Australian accent, even though the locations are all American. (The primary difference is that this means Carolina and its rhyme have Rs on the end, as I recall.)
It is not family-friendly.
I had entirely forgotten about it.
But it's in my head in the voice of my friend Ursula's father, Julian Brown, a chemical engineer from Melbourne. I can't remember what he looked like, but I can remember this. Sad, hm?

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice
Used dynamite as a phallus.
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.