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dragonlady7Have to work today. Usually the Sun 1-9pm shift is a good money shift. Just remembered new scheduling manager saying she asked another person to come in at noon to help at my location. durr. only realized last night that means she's there before me, and she's senior to me. so that means i'm the second server.
that means i'll make like $30 today.
#($)(@#&!!
It's not worth my goddamn time. New Schedule Manager, I am sure, didn't mean to personally screw me, but by asking this person who is senior to me to come in earlier than me, she did, and that's pretty much it.
I'm going to try to weasel out of closing, then: "gosh, usually the first server closes; i'm just the second server. i'll stock the cooler and leave once it gets dead." but I know the other girl who's in, and she's lazy and will refuse to be the closer, meaning i gotta shift all the damn bottles.
Urgh.
I was so mad about this when I realized it last night that I lay in bed awake for two hours, so that hasn't helped my mood.
This morning I was hoping to do a couple of things withZ maybe before I go in, but he's resolutely refused to wake up, and it's already ten. So I guess we won't get the grocery shopping done. (You might notice the resentful tone of the jealous here: yes, I really would have liked more sleep, but I woke at 8 and couldn't sleep again, and I am grumpy about it.)
Katy emailed me and asked me what I want for my birthday. I've been lying here for about two hours now trying to think of what to put on the grocery list (which I've abandoned hope of using today, but might as well at least put together), and trying to think what to ask for for my birthday. i've been thinking about the birthday list for a while, have mentioned it a few times on here, and have been sort of putting it off-=. In past years I've put together detailed and useful lists.
At the moment I just can't think of feasible things. I want a couch, I want a laptop, I want new bras-- these are all things I have to shop for myself.
I asked Z what he was getting me for my birthday, because in the past he has enjoyed teasing me about it, and he's always bought me awesome things in the past. But he was quite grumpy about it and made it quite plain that he doesn't have any ideas and isn't particularly interested.
And I don't really know how to want feasible things anymore. I've spent the better part of the last year trying not to want things because I couldn't afford them. I've always been an absolute cripple when it comes to shopping. And at the moment, I'm a bit tired, a bit depressed, and for God's sake what the hell am I doing with my life? I'm a fucking waitress, is what I am, and in debt up to my eyeballs to pay for the student loans for the degree that my current employers didn't even notice was on my resume, and I don't want anything. I don't want a better job. I'm not good at anything and don't want to do it for a living. I don't want things. I don't want possessions. I want time, I want time I can spend doing things I enjoy, except I don't enjoy things.
But of course it's not true, of course I want things, and of course I want people to give me delightful possessions for my birthday, which is officially now A Depressingly High Number. I just don't know what to ask for. Yes. I will be 26, and I am a fucking waitress who's never finished anything and is highly unlikely to make anything of herself and whose most significant achievement will probably be paying off her student loans, finally, when she is 60. I was thinking maybe I'd like to someday get married and have kids but will I ever have the sort of career that will make that sort of thing financially possible? Unlikely. I'll scrape around in stupid jobs and wind up the kind of lady who refers to her cats as her 'babies' because she convinced herself she didn't want any real human children and now it's pretty much too late anyway. Right? Sure.
Yes, and I had thought that sitting here daydreaming about stuff I want and just might be able to get would be an enjoyable way to while away the time until Z woke up.
Urgh. I am getting a little tired of being such a whiner, but then, whatever-- that's what lj cuts are for! Joys.
that means i'll make like $30 today.
#($)(@#&!!
It's not worth my goddamn time. New Schedule Manager, I am sure, didn't mean to personally screw me, but by asking this person who is senior to me to come in earlier than me, she did, and that's pretty much it.
I'm going to try to weasel out of closing, then: "gosh, usually the first server closes; i'm just the second server. i'll stock the cooler and leave once it gets dead." but I know the other girl who's in, and she's lazy and will refuse to be the closer, meaning i gotta shift all the damn bottles.
Urgh.
I was so mad about this when I realized it last night that I lay in bed awake for two hours, so that hasn't helped my mood.
This morning I was hoping to do a couple of things withZ maybe before I go in, but he's resolutely refused to wake up, and it's already ten. So I guess we won't get the grocery shopping done. (You might notice the resentful tone of the jealous here: yes, I really would have liked more sleep, but I woke at 8 and couldn't sleep again, and I am grumpy about it.)
Katy emailed me and asked me what I want for my birthday. I've been lying here for about two hours now trying to think of what to put on the grocery list (which I've abandoned hope of using today, but might as well at least put together), and trying to think what to ask for for my birthday. i've been thinking about the birthday list for a while, have mentioned it a few times on here, and have been sort of putting it off-=. In past years I've put together detailed and useful lists.
At the moment I just can't think of feasible things. I want a couch, I want a laptop, I want new bras-- these are all things I have to shop for myself.
I asked Z what he was getting me for my birthday, because in the past he has enjoyed teasing me about it, and he's always bought me awesome things in the past. But he was quite grumpy about it and made it quite plain that he doesn't have any ideas and isn't particularly interested.
And I don't really know how to want feasible things anymore. I've spent the better part of the last year trying not to want things because I couldn't afford them. I've always been an absolute cripple when it comes to shopping. And at the moment, I'm a bit tired, a bit depressed, and for God's sake what the hell am I doing with my life? I'm a fucking waitress, is what I am, and in debt up to my eyeballs to pay for the student loans for the degree that my current employers didn't even notice was on my resume, and I don't want anything. I don't want a better job. I'm not good at anything and don't want to do it for a living. I don't want things. I don't want possessions. I want time, I want time I can spend doing things I enjoy, except I don't enjoy things.
But of course it's not true, of course I want things, and of course I want people to give me delightful possessions for my birthday, which is officially now A Depressingly High Number. I just don't know what to ask for. Yes. I will be 26, and I am a fucking waitress who's never finished anything and is highly unlikely to make anything of herself and whose most significant achievement will probably be paying off her student loans, finally, when she is 60. I was thinking maybe I'd like to someday get married and have kids but will I ever have the sort of career that will make that sort of thing financially possible? Unlikely. I'll scrape around in stupid jobs and wind up the kind of lady who refers to her cats as her 'babies' because she convinced herself she didn't want any real human children and now it's pretty much too late anyway. Right? Sure.
Yes, and I had thought that sitting here daydreaming about stuff I want and just might be able to get would be an enjoyable way to while away the time until Z woke up.
Urgh. I am getting a little tired of being such a whiner, but then, whatever-- that's what lj cuts are for! Joys.
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-01 04:12 am (UTC)Where have I been? Oh yes, Ohio.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-01 12:41 pm (UTC)No, you haven't really missed much. :D
no subject
Date: 2005-08-01 01:13 pm (UTC)We've been partying a lot recently. Blame it on too many brain cells lost.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-01 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-01 08:25 pm (UTC)Most men don't get married unless they have no choice. He has sex and a housekeeper, why on earth would he want to commit to marriage? Your business, of course - just sayin'. But this is why marriage is becomming less and less popular. Men have convinced us that we love sex too, and shouldn't have to do without. This benefits THEM not US.