misc

[dragonlady7]

Am disgusted, having spent entire early (and much mid) afternoon waiting for a thunderstorm that simply never came. We NEED RAIN and it refuses to do so.

Several items to update about. First off, hi to everyone: I'm still here. Are you? I shall go read my flist and see.

1) It seems of all the alternatives I considered when I moved my computer to the basement, this one has come true: that I just never sit down here anymore. Which is odd, given how hot it's been, but I'd just rather lie prone in the heat near Dave than come down here and connect to the world. Also, writing? Pfeh. I haven't done a lick of it and nothing interests me. I seem to have nothing to say, on any of my stories, although a few of them are still ticking over in my mind. I have tomorrow off, and will undoubtedly be up late tonight, so I have a little hope somewhere. And I seem to have nothing to say to anybody either, which is unusual. I have a nagging feeling that I owe an email but I couldn't say where. There isn't much activity in my inbox these days.

2) Have done a bunch more gardening. Am ripping out about a foot-wide strip along the entire back fence, because it's a pain to mow, and am letting the morning glories go wild along it. Am also considering a second planting of peas. Why not? They're supposed to grow well in the fall, too. Though I've no idea. At worst, nothing comes up, and we get the same effect as if I'd just tossed out the half-packet of seeds left over from this spring.
Did I mention my mother praised my garden extensively? I was thoroughly pleased.

3) Katy needs a "plastic bottle opener key chain" in Iraq, and can't find any there because there are no beers. Where would I even go to look for such a thing? I really don't know.

4) Was going to do a Patriotic Phone Post of me singing a patriotic song yesterday, and I practiced all the way home from work in the car, but I couldn't get through any of them without crying, and, well, singers sound like shite when they're in tears. So no.

let tyrants shake their iron rod
and slav'ry clank her galling chains
we fear them not, we trust in God

5) Nobody seems to want me to mail them any postcards, so I guess I won't. If you've changed your mind and want me to send you a weird homemade postcard from my free printer, do drop me a line with your snail-mail address. (A good method to protect your physical address from The Internet would be to comment on this post and then immediately delete the comment: it will be invisible, but I'll have the text of it in my notification email. Another good method would be to comment on the last post, where comments were screened. And yet a third method would be to email me at this username at livejournal dot com.)

6) Dave has a job interview on Thursday. I'm enclosing an edited version of the ad, his cover letter, and the reply email. Please note the timestamps on the emails. This is about the funniest thing ever.


WANTED: COMPUTER GEEK
[Local Alternative Newsweekly] is seeking someone to help with IT/Sys admin and with
programming our website. ESSENTIAL: Experience with OS X (installing &
maintaining software used publishing environment), PC/WinXP
(connecting to mac based network, troubleshoot web issues), general
LAN setup & maintenance. PHP/MySQL experience. Familiar with HTML/
javascript/ XML/ CSS, building templates as per art directors
specifications. Experience maintaining a Linux web-server, and setting
up Apple Xserve. Ability to operate in a deadline oriented
environment. Experience with content management systems, MAMBO and
preparing images for web a real plus. Please email
webmaster [email address].


From: Dave
Date: Jul 5, 2005 11:28 AM
Subject: Computer Geek for Hire
To: webmaster

Dear Webmaster:

I am sending you my resume in response to your advertisement for the
Computer Geek position which appeared in [Local Alternative Newsweekly] on 30 June 2005. I have a B.S. in Computer Science from RIT as well as over three years'
professional experience in the software industry.

My previous position was at a small Mac shop where I leveraged my
geekiness to perform Mac OS X Server administration and network
administration duties. One of my major projects was to work closely
with our image consulting firm to turn their Photoshop mockups into a
full-blown dynamic Web application using XHTML, CSS, and a smattering
of Javascript. I am also a bit of a document production geek, having
designed and implemented an automated high-volume document production
workflow for my former employers around a framework of XML, Adobe
Framemaker, and PDF. Finally, any geek worth his pocket protector
knows Linux, and I am no exception, having hosted my website on my own
Linux server since before the .com boom.

After reading my resume, I am confident that you will find that I am
the geek for you. Please feel free to email me at [email address] or call me at [number]. I look forward to hearing from you.

- Dave [his full name]

enclosure: resume


From: Webmaster
Date: Jul 5, 2005 11:40 AM
Subject: Re: Computer Geek for Hire
To: dave

Hi and thanks for your interest.

We would like to have you come in for interview. Can you do Thursday or
Friday this week, 10-5 either day. Ideally 11 or 2 on Thursday.

Let me know when and I will confirm.

Thanks,
[Some Dude's Real Name]


I only edited the things in square brackets, to remove real contact info and full names.
The rest is as written. Particularly the headline on the ad.

Dave saw this ad, laughed, spent about 45 minutes looking up details and putting together his cover letter, sent it off, and went to take a shower. After a shower and a bit of dealing with the inevitable consequences of parading around naked in my household, he went out to sit on the couch and coincidentally checked his email. There was the reply, sitting there. He did the math and the timestamps are 12 minutes apart.

I guess the time he spent making his resume concise was worth it. But: how far to take the cutesy sarcasm? He was considering wearing his Chucks with his suit for the Interview.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeh, you forgot something. Gmail Notifier has a Release Candidate out, and an Official Website (http://david.kleinschmidt.name/gmail-notifier).

- Z

[(Anonymous)]

Online (http://froogle.google.com/froogle?q=plastic+bottle+opener+keychain&scoring=p), perhaps?

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Hi there again, NYU dude.
Most online places won't ship to an APO address, which is why she wanted me to just go to a store and pick one up and stick it in her next care package. If I order it shipped here, I'll have to wait, and then it'll take that much longer to send to her, and it won't arrive in time for her to give it to the friend to whom she wanted to make a parting gift of it.
But, thanks for the idea. As ever, thoughtful of you.

[reverend-dave.livejournal.com]

Well, if she wants one with a particular design or emblem, you might have to search, but in general, combination bottle openers/keychains aren't rare. Do you have a hardware staore nearby? Not a Lowe's or a big-ass contractor place, but something more Sears-like?

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

We just tried Target and the liquor store, but a general-purpose hardware store might do it-- there's one less than a mile away on Kenmore... Hmm.....
Last I checked, they had a whole rack of gimcrackies by the cash register. Among them were earplugs and a keychain made from a miniature utility knife painted with flowers. But I didn't notice any keychain bottle openers... But then, I wasn't looking, then. Except I kind of was.

The gourmet grocery store had some adorable bottle openers that were like little demons with the bottle opening part being their open, toothy mouths, but those things were $17 and also had no keychain component. They were really cute though.

[tehta.livejournal.com]

I was going to say "try Target and a liquor store." I know Target sometimes has them: I've seen them in mine near the penknives. I think they come and go at various stores. I'd just keep checking liquor and hardware stores, and one is sure to turn up sometime.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm... She needs it rather soonish, though, as it's to be a present for a friend whose stint is up rather soon. She didn't give me a concrete deadline, though.
I pass that damn hardware store every day on my way to work and I keep forgetting to stop...