tagged!

[dragonlady7]

I am going to sit and feel very special for a moment, because nobody has ever tagged me for anything before.
*is special*
Thank you, tehta, for tagging me. :D

Now I'm going to prove how thoroughly uninteresting I am.

Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal, and tag five friends.
I'm gonna follow tehta's example and list five things, even though the meme doesn't say. It's better to have an end number in mind...

1. Making lists. I am a shockingly disorganized person, but I like to delude myself into believing there's some sort of order to my life. Also, thinking about things is almost always more pleasant than doing them. Which is just as well, as most of the things I put on lists are things I never get around to. I make lists of things to buy, things to do, things to make, things to discuss, things to blog, places to go, goals to work towards, philosophies to espouse, etc. I sometimes draw accompanying diagrams, of things like the floor plan of my ideal house with a list of features it will have, or the general design of an item of clothing I will never be able to find and lack the skill to make, and so on. I like to write really ambitious things to do while I'm bored at work, in particular-- "Things To Save Up For: A car, a year in Europe, a horse" and the like. I also like to write things down that I've done, of late-- I think the words give me an illusion of control. (I have a detailed log of every day I've ever worked explaining how much I earned in tips, for example. Not that it helps me understand the trends, but at least I've documented them. Someday it will make sense, which is why I will keep the log for the next twenty years even after it ceases to be useful in any way. Someday there will come a big picture, I am sure.)


2. Making things up. Not just stories, although I do that almost constantly. I like to put things in order, sort of, in my head. I like to make nonexistent things make sense. I like to imagine all sorts of things. Writing them down is sort of a late development in this habit-- I have always told myself stories. The marvel is not that I have so many going at once, now that I look at my disorganized hard drive and piles of unfinished works, but that I have so few going on. I'm more disciplined than I let on. My brain is a crowded little place. And it is important to me to know precisely what they ate for breakfast the morning Eomer left for the first Harad war. (Mutton stew.)


3. Gardening. This is a new one. I suspect it comes out of my unfocused desire to control and order my surroundings. I would compulsively clean the house if I could, but I am overwhelmed by the possessions I have, so I go to the garden instead, which is relatively uncluttered, and I can order it as I like and have the satisfaction of it actually being alive and growing and changing under my direction. I am very easily paralyzed, in general-- by clutter, by sentiment, by uncertainty-- and at the moment at least, the garden has not escaped my control and gone into someplace where I feel paralyzed. So I can go out there and be effective. Which mostly just consists of dumping water on things, but still, I feel like I'm achieving something.


4. Writing in ths journal. I have this thing where things don't seem real unless I'm documenting them. I don't know why. Since I started keeping this journal I've been able to keep much better track of my life. Previous to keeping this journal I used to e-mail a lot more, and in my ridiculously long emails I would do what this journal now does, which is analyzing my life by writing it down. Things make much more sense once I've written about them. It's probably not healthy.


5. Taking pictures. Similar to blogging and making lists, things aren't real unless I've documented them somehow. So going someplace is much realer to me if I come home with pictures of it. And there's just something about having new pictures that is a pleasure unlike any other. Back when I did photography in high school and college, the moment when you pulled the film out of the fixer and could see, for the first time, that it was a negative, that you had pictures that had actually come out-- that was the greatest moment. Now it's when iPhoto finishes importing and I can see the photos on my screen. I love having photos of things, even things that I can see from where I'm sitting, because somehow having a photo of the thing makes it that much realer and better and more satisfying.

Wow, I'm simultaneously uninteresting and screwed-up! This was more fun than I'd thought. :D

Lessee, who shall I tag?
Optionally, of course, I think I would like to see kkatowll, spacellama, buschibaby (I know she won't, as she's never around, but I thought I'd be wishful for a moment), echoriath, and ganga_ do this, although of course they're free to ignore as they see fit. :)

Comments

[sirielle.livejournal.com]

I have always told myself stories.

That's what I do most of the day - daydreaming and telling myself stories...
I totally understand also the photographs. So many times more important for me was to take photo/make movie of an event than just to see it with my eyes ;)
I have no digital camera, that's the only reason my HDD is not overloaded with photos pf my cat... I'm sure I would have takn every little change of the pose he does during a sleep (and how he is sleeping at my monitor right now, covering top of the screen with his head ^_^ ). Then I would take photos outside, torment my friends like in the old days when I tried to make black and white portraits of them... And then...
Definitely I have to buy digital camera. Have to sell my present one, first.

Wow, I'm simultaneously uninteresting and screwed-up! This was more fun than I'd thought. :D
No, I red it with pleasure, so many things are similar :)
I do make lists some times, too. But not often, only when I have to do important things. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes... I blow up even when I have a reminder of paying bills sticked near my computer screen. So what, who would look at the reminder!? even written on paper, put on the mouse pad, so moved so many times all around my desk, doesn't work... I'm helpless sometmes ;)
My emails were ridiculously long too and sometimes still are... As some of my LJ comments ;)
All have changed when I discovered net discussion boards, but still there are people I write very seldom but when I do it's larger then your present entry ;)

In the end - tagging thing. I was tagged by Slayer to fill out fandom meme (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sirielle/1736.html). I had to tag 5 people, but I was afraid to force people to do anything and had no more than 5 possibilities on my flist ;) So I wrote there:
"Five people to tag with this!
I think one of them would be you! ;)"
Perhaps you haven't red it, perhaps didn't know what I meant, but now after what have you said I feel free to officially tag you to do the fandom meme :D

And don't try to deny Fëanorian follower, dear Dragonlady!

;)

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

I know, I'm awful at actually doing any of the lists, but I'm utterly unable to function without them.

I love my digital camera. I've had a digital camera for like five or six years now and can't remember how I ever got along without one.

I actually really don't have much of interest to say for the fandom meme, which is why I didn't consider myself tagged. Cuz I really don't have much to say. I'll read it over, but I really don't think I can come up with much. I'm not really into fandoms so much as I ought to be.

[sirielle.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought when Slayer tagged me - 'I have nothing to say'. But I was wrong. Anyway, you don't need to do it if you don't want, of course :)

[tehta.livejournal.com]

How is this screwed up? I bet I'm more screwed up than you...

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

We should have a contest!!!

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Eh, I'd totally win.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah?

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. Totally. I can get psychologists to testify to this, too.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

.... Damn. I don't have any professional testimonies.

That was a short contest.

Crap. So what do you win?

[tehta.livejournal.com]

Free therapy?

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Er, I don't have any of that, so I can't forfeit it.


Ooh! Ooh! I almost have health insurance! Maybe next week I can finally find someone to give my piece of paper to and then I can get me some! It's been over a year and a half since I last saw anyone with any letters after their name. I'm totally psyched.

But I don't think they'd give me any free therapy to give you either.

[sirielle.livejournal.com]

Free therapy - play music loud and dance as free style as you can, any movement which brings you joy. Remember to sing along with music! ;)
Audience is not necessary, this experience is just for you, but if you manage to make them join, no problem :D