Evan's Porn Video Story

[dragonlady7]

OK, started telling this this morning, but had to leave for work. So. i resume: a funny story.

From work, but it's by a co-worker, not a customer.
A story by Evan:
Porn Video:

Evan has been bartending at the airport for almost a year now. He's an undergrad at UB. He's a tall kid, vaguely resembles that actor from Scrubs, is goofy and yet attractive. He was telling us about this house at UB South campus (which, for the curious, is probably about 3-4 miles away from where I live) where he lives.

So we moved in, and there was this handyman there doing repairs, like installing a new window or something. I was talking to him a little bit, and he was telling me the previous tenants were these totally wild and crazy party guys. I was nodding along, and he's like, "Yeah, at one point Ron Jeremy showed up and they filmed a porno in this house!"
Now, I thought that was a really weird thing to say, and I wasn't exactly comfortable discussing, y'know, porn with this dude, so I just kind of nodded and left.
A bit later, though, I was talking to the neighbors, and they were all, "the guys who used to live here were like totally nuts! Once they had this weird party with all these girls from California or something, and God only knows what they were doing in there!"
And then, like six months ago, I was talking to the landlady. She said that the previous tenants were just wild boys and she really didn't want to know what they'd gotten into. At one point, she said, they had camera crews in there or something.
So I was wondering about that. Then one of my friends was talking to me about how there are rumors about a UB porno, and how he went looking for it. He found it, so he brought it over and we all sat down and watched it. And holy shit! It was filmed in my house! There's a scene in my bedroom! And there are all these porn stars, and the guys are like having contests, and the winner gets to have sex with a porn star!

At that point one of the cooks, a middle-aged overweight black woman, is walking by. She pauses, and gives us a look. We are three bartenders, all under 30, sitting in the hallway with our black vests unbuttoned and our white shirttails hanging out, surreptitiously counting our banks, and talking about... porn.
"Porno movies are fun," she says. "I like to watch them in rewind."
"You watch pornos?" The other bartender is horrified.
The cook puts her hand on her hip and looks defiant. "Ain't no shame in my game," she says.
Evan plays an air guitar solo and goes back to his story.

So yeah, they filmed a porn in my house. Sadly, that doesn't seem to help me with the chicks much.

Comments

[lenine2.livejournal.com]

Oh. Hmmmn. Did I tell you I have a friend who had an "encounter" with Ron Jeremy? He seems to get around a lot. He also (apparently) carries paperwork with him that certifies himself as disease-free.

Watching porn movies in rewind - now that would be fun. I'll have to try it.

(I'll have to memorize that: "Ain't no shame in my game." I'm so out of it.)

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Porn movies are really fun when you have a bored and somewhat sadistic girl in charge of the remote. We used to watch porn at parties, on mute, letting Sharon fast-forward or rewind as she saw fit. It was tons of fun. We'd watch all the "plot" parts, and then watch the hot action in fast-forward, and then if there was a good bit we'd rewind it to see how that looked...

Ahh, good times.

[http://users.livejournal.com/ganga_/]

Man. Some people are just so lucky! I'm sure nobody's filmed anything remotely interesting where I live. But that's all right, too. :) Besides, pornos with Norwegian-speaking actors ("actors") would just freak me out.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

I don't know if Evan considers himself lucky to be sleeping in a bedroom where some random dude and some random porn star got it on.

What, Norwegians can't have sex in Norwegian? Do you, like, have to watch German porn or something? When you get it on you have to speak only English? I am intrigued by this, "Norwegian-speaking porn stars would freak me out" premise.

[http://users.livejournal.com/ganga_/]

No... German is hard because I rarely understand what they're trying to communicate... "Is she happy or sad? Does she enjoy that or not? What's that dude saying to make her take all her clothes off?" And so on and so forth. And I never understand the plot.
Norwegians can get it on all they want to. But it would be just weird to watch porn where they spoke Norwegian. People speak English during intercourse, you know? It's like ...LJ.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Hum. So you have to blog and have sex in English. Is most of your life so rigidly compartmented into different languages?