![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7It is dark out. Oddly, this suits my mood, as I am in the sort of mood where nothing is really bothering me. It's kind of silly, but there you have it. I've been awake on and off since about 6:15, but have spent the day thusfar giving in to an all-encompassing laziness that means I didn't so much as sit up until 9:30 despite being awake, and then spent until nearly 1:00 doing absolutely nothing of value. I read some Silmfics, drooled over hawt Calaquendi, surfed around various little bits of the Internet, and sometime after noon got up to make lunch and noticed that I still hadn't picked my keyboard up from the nightstand where I'd left it. Yes, all this time I'd been on the Internet I hadn't typed anything. I didn't even have the feeble excuse of feedback and community-ly duties to reason away the time I'd just spent reading things. I couldn't even delude myself into thinking maybe I'd written something and forgotten about it-- no, the keyboard was still put away.
I have been thinking about writing but in the last... week, or more, i believe, i have done no more than edit a word here or there in the BarbariansNovel draft I am reconsidering. I tell myself that the heroine's latest total character overhaul is percolating in my mind and that's what counts, but it's quite shocking for me to look at the last-saved dates on all my Word documents and realize that ain't none of them been worked on in days and days. I don't even think I know where I left off with the First Age fanfic stuff.
But if you're going to be a slacker, you might as well not be ashamed of it. I've done nothing! I'm utterly useless, and given my current mood, that doesn't really bother me. It just means I'll have a productive phase later, right?
I don't know why I'm so cheerful. The house is a mess, in that there are more dishes than merely the kitchen can hold. But there are little bouquets of flowers everywhere, that I picked and arranged for the party. The narcissus or paperwhites or whatever they are that I found randomly escaping the pachysandra patch in the front are making the whole house smell lovely, and oddly enough are blending with the still-good-smelling odors of the dirty dishes to make things a feast for the senses. I wouldn't feel the same were it a hot day, but it is cold and so the turkey-carving pan full of turkified oil actually still smells pretty good.
I also feel thin today. Am wearing jeans I know used to dig in at the waist, and they're actually riding a tiny bit low. I haven't lost any more weight really but I am feeling skinny. The scale informs me this isn't justified. I cling to the belief that the ab exercises I have been doing every other day for the last, like, week maybe are having some effect. Hah. But it's mind over matter, with me. :)
At any rate, I am setting records with my laziness and have no intent to stop. I have wednesday off; today I will be a slob, and by Wednesday the house will be absolutely repulsive and so I'll clean it then. Perhaps with Dave's help. And all will be well. Sure.
And, in my head, I think that Al's color is better and his behavior more like a healthy fish. His scales are still sticking out but maybe he's strong and can still heal. He does look more blue. Maybe he's recovering.
I have been thinking about writing but in the last... week, or more, i believe, i have done no more than edit a word here or there in the BarbariansNovel draft I am reconsidering. I tell myself that the heroine's latest total character overhaul is percolating in my mind and that's what counts, but it's quite shocking for me to look at the last-saved dates on all my Word documents and realize that ain't none of them been worked on in days and days. I don't even think I know where I left off with the First Age fanfic stuff.
But if you're going to be a slacker, you might as well not be ashamed of it. I've done nothing! I'm utterly useless, and given my current mood, that doesn't really bother me. It just means I'll have a productive phase later, right?
I don't know why I'm so cheerful. The house is a mess, in that there are more dishes than merely the kitchen can hold. But there are little bouquets of flowers everywhere, that I picked and arranged for the party. The narcissus or paperwhites or whatever they are that I found randomly escaping the pachysandra patch in the front are making the whole house smell lovely, and oddly enough are blending with the still-good-smelling odors of the dirty dishes to make things a feast for the senses. I wouldn't feel the same were it a hot day, but it is cold and so the turkey-carving pan full of turkified oil actually still smells pretty good.
I also feel thin today. Am wearing jeans I know used to dig in at the waist, and they're actually riding a tiny bit low. I haven't lost any more weight really but I am feeling skinny. The scale informs me this isn't justified. I cling to the belief that the ab exercises I have been doing every other day for the last, like, week maybe are having some effect. Hah. But it's mind over matter, with me. :)
At any rate, I am setting records with my laziness and have no intent to stop. I have wednesday off; today I will be a slob, and by Wednesday the house will be absolutely repulsive and so I'll clean it then. Perhaps with Dave's help. And all will be well. Sure.
And, in my head, I think that Al's color is better and his behavior more like a healthy fish. His scales are still sticking out but maybe he's strong and can still heal. He does look more blue. Maybe he's recovering.
