euw it''s in my HAIR
Apr. 4th, 2005 08:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7Thusfar my Monday isn't off to a very good start. Firstly I had a dream, which I shall describe here, but I warn you, it is probably way TMI and non-PG to boot. There were zombies and also an orgy, and everyone in this dream was a moron.
So there were zombies. Something about this chick and her dead husband? family? It was set in some old-fashioned kinda time, I think? Not sure. At any rate, I knew fine well it was a story about zombies but nobody else did, so I was simply sort of present and we all went back to the graveyard to, like, say goodbye or something, and I was like, she's going to step into that little depression over the grave and she's totally going to fall in and zombies are going to come swarming out, and lo! she did.
I was not amused, although I'm not entirely sure I was a character. Everyone else shrieked and screamed. A group of people ran into this house, and then the house caught fire, so we all went up into the attic.
The attic, people.
Duh.
Anyway. Once we were in the attic, there were four of us-- the chick and her dude, and a character that maybe was me and some other dude. I don't know who anybody was, really. And then we proceeded to have an orgy. See, the house was on fire, so the zombies wouldn't get in. Although there was no smoke, only dramatic crackling noises.
And man, it was a terrible orgy. Everybody started getting all kinky and I got exceedingly frustrated because nobody would just fuck and I just wanted an orgasm already. I never did get one. I am a bit frustrated this morning. The plot never resolved itself, either.
And if this is some metaphor for my life, what with my never getting laid and never finishing any of my books, I am not amused.
In other news I am extremely jealous of Dave's stuffed monkey, which not only got to go to Coco Beach with Dave's mom, but also now sleeps in Dave's bed every night and he kind of snuggles it. I am JEALOUS. I was so cold last night I slept with a heating pad and fuzzy socks. I was wearing a slip, as it struck me as a good night-dress (additionally, i was already wearing it, which was a big point in its favor), but I was so cold I dug up a pair of fuzzy slipper-socks. Then my feet were all right, but I was still cold. So I plugged in the heating pad, and set it on my ass while i slept on my face. I did turn it off before I went to sleep. But it was quite nice.
This morning the sun is up, at least. Still snowy, but at least sunny. Crap, i shouldn't have said anything-- when you speak its name, the sun hides. Hiss!
I got up and went into Dave's room (it's next to the bathroom door and I noticed he was awake on my return trip) and it was then I noticed the monkey was all posed in his bed next to him, with its head on the pillow and its arm over the blankets. I told him it looked like his gay lover or something and I half-expected it to be smoking a candy cigarette. (SO DAMN JEALOUS I can't even tell you; I don't REMEMBER the last time I got snuggled it was so long ago.)
It really didn't help that Dave and I spent much of yesterday evening (while he was in the living room working on his homework, dammit) IMing back and forth and laughing at the underwear models on internationaljock.com and I decided that Dave totally needs a pair of these and that boy-bitz aren't so funny-looking after all.
I then went into the kitchen. Dave went grocery shopping not long ago, and he bought me yogurts. So I picked one up out of the fridge. Uh-oh, I thought, looking at it-- the foil cap was kind of (crap, what's the word?) (edited to add: DISTENDED. That's the word.) inflated, taut, poking outward, and I thought it probable that the yogurt had something wrong with it. So, experimentally, I pried back the pulltab.
SPLORT. It was like some sort of demented Mixed Berry spoiled-yogurt money shot, all over my face and chest.
I was not amused. And yes, the yogurt was bad, but not in the usual way that yogurt goes bad, and if I had a car and a morning off I would go to Wegman's and return it, which I have never done, but I think they should be alerted that a 2-day-old yogurt had exploded. It just seems... eggregious.
So I'm eating a non-spoiled yogurt, and finding little bits of yogurt splatter everywhere. (DAMN you, I showered last night already!!)
Today is the first of five consecutive 8-hour days of cocktail waitressing at Torture Bar. I didn't even think to look at who would be bartending there. Business should be reasonable today, what with all the people who got cancelled over the weekend, although business won't be cheerful.
And I don't have any pants with pockets. And I don't know where to get an apron, still. And now? My goddamn nametag is missing. I'm thinking of getting a replacement that says something bizarre. i always wanted to have a stage name. Perhaps I could go by "Desdemona" or "Scheherezade" or something. Just so complete strangers don't see "Bridget" on my nametag and call me (shudder) Bridgie and think I'm going to ALLOW that.
So there were zombies. Something about this chick and her dead husband? family? It was set in some old-fashioned kinda time, I think? Not sure. At any rate, I knew fine well it was a story about zombies but nobody else did, so I was simply sort of present and we all went back to the graveyard to, like, say goodbye or something, and I was like, she's going to step into that little depression over the grave and she's totally going to fall in and zombies are going to come swarming out, and lo! she did.
I was not amused, although I'm not entirely sure I was a character. Everyone else shrieked and screamed. A group of people ran into this house, and then the house caught fire, so we all went up into the attic.
The attic, people.
Duh.
Anyway. Once we were in the attic, there were four of us-- the chick and her dude, and a character that maybe was me and some other dude. I don't know who anybody was, really. And then we proceeded to have an orgy. See, the house was on fire, so the zombies wouldn't get in. Although there was no smoke, only dramatic crackling noises.
And man, it was a terrible orgy. Everybody started getting all kinky and I got exceedingly frustrated because nobody would just fuck and I just wanted an orgasm already. I never did get one. I am a bit frustrated this morning. The plot never resolved itself, either.
And if this is some metaphor for my life, what with my never getting laid and never finishing any of my books, I am not amused.
In other news I am extremely jealous of Dave's stuffed monkey, which not only got to go to Coco Beach with Dave's mom, but also now sleeps in Dave's bed every night and he kind of snuggles it. I am JEALOUS. I was so cold last night I slept with a heating pad and fuzzy socks. I was wearing a slip, as it struck me as a good night-dress (additionally, i was already wearing it, which was a big point in its favor), but I was so cold I dug up a pair of fuzzy slipper-socks. Then my feet were all right, but I was still cold. So I plugged in the heating pad, and set it on my ass while i slept on my face. I did turn it off before I went to sleep. But it was quite nice.
This morning the sun is up, at least. Still snowy, but at least sunny. Crap, i shouldn't have said anything-- when you speak its name, the sun hides. Hiss!
I got up and went into Dave's room (it's next to the bathroom door and I noticed he was awake on my return trip) and it was then I noticed the monkey was all posed in his bed next to him, with its head on the pillow and its arm over the blankets. I told him it looked like his gay lover or something and I half-expected it to be smoking a candy cigarette. (SO DAMN JEALOUS I can't even tell you; I don't REMEMBER the last time I got snuggled it was so long ago.)
It really didn't help that Dave and I spent much of yesterday evening (while he was in the living room working on his homework, dammit) IMing back and forth and laughing at the underwear models on internationaljock.com and I decided that Dave totally needs a pair of these and that boy-bitz aren't so funny-looking after all.
I then went into the kitchen. Dave went grocery shopping not long ago, and he bought me yogurts. So I picked one up out of the fridge. Uh-oh, I thought, looking at it-- the foil cap was kind of (crap, what's the word?) (edited to add: DISTENDED. That's the word.) inflated, taut, poking outward, and I thought it probable that the yogurt had something wrong with it. So, experimentally, I pried back the pulltab.
SPLORT. It was like some sort of demented Mixed Berry spoiled-yogurt money shot, all over my face and chest.
I was not amused. And yes, the yogurt was bad, but not in the usual way that yogurt goes bad, and if I had a car and a morning off I would go to Wegman's and return it, which I have never done, but I think they should be alerted that a 2-day-old yogurt had exploded. It just seems... eggregious.
So I'm eating a non-spoiled yogurt, and finding little bits of yogurt splatter everywhere. (DAMN you, I showered last night already!!)
Today is the first of five consecutive 8-hour days of cocktail waitressing at Torture Bar. I didn't even think to look at who would be bartending there. Business should be reasonable today, what with all the people who got cancelled over the weekend, although business won't be cheerful.
And I don't have any pants with pockets. And I don't know where to get an apron, still. And now? My goddamn nametag is missing. I'm thinking of getting a replacement that says something bizarre. i always wanted to have a stage name. Perhaps I could go by "Desdemona" or "Scheherezade" or something. Just so complete strangers don't see "Bridget" on my nametag and call me (shudder) Bridgie and think I'm going to ALLOW that.
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-04 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 01:35 am (UTC)- Z
no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 02:40 pm (UTC)Well, turns out the nametag maker doesn't do special characters. Also Sue, while she has a sense of humor, knows that the managers don't, and so she just made me a normal nametag with my real name.
Very disappointing. I should paste on other nametapes over it and switch them out daily.