crocus

[dragonlady7]

Every time I mention crocuses, Dave says "Crocus!" in a badass voice like it's the name of a metal band. I think he got that from Strong Bad; I don't really know. (He's a devoted fan of homestarrunner.com.)

I have the most amazing quantity of dirt under my fingernails-- it's really quite improbable. They're bitten off as short as they go, and the dirt is just everywhere. I think it's in my bloodstream.

So, in the "positive" column there are several things.
First, I made cookies. They are officially "I Am Okay Enough" cookies. I mixed up the dough, found out about the car, and was too traumatized to bake them. But I got my shit together enough to put them in tupperware so they wouldn't go funny in the fridge, and last night I baked them while I reheated dinner for Dave. So there were warm cookies when he got home. My shit may not be entirely together, but I can bake cookies, dammit.

Second, I got my ass in gear and went to a garden center this morning while dave was doing his lab report. I had to go to three-- one was closed, the second I called and it said their hours were 9-7 but when i got there at 9:25 it was closed. So i came back home, and called again to make sure that it wasn't that I was a moron and they'd said 9:30. "Nine o'clock," the girl on the phone said.
"I was just there and the place wasn't open," I said, incredulous. "There were gates blocking the parking lot."
"Oh," and she giggled, "I got a late start this morning."
But, on the upside, while turning around at finding out it was closed, I noticed a "Help Wanted: Bartenders" sign on the pub next door. I was too mad at that point to clearly note the bar's name, but on the second trip I stopped in their parking lot and wrote down the name and address (it was closed, of course).
And I also got Holland Bulb Booster and some organic topsoil, like the package insert from Burpee said. So, later tonight I'm going to bike over there-- I could work over there and not fear the commute, as it's all back streets through a really nice neighborhood with clear sightlines for cars.

And the final entry for the positive column:
We have every single thing we own out of dave's mom's garage, and I cleaned the garage. The van has its seats back in it. I had to have Dave push-start me twice, and determined that the car has to be going at least 3 mph to have enough momentum to turn the engine over.

There's a negative column, of course, but I think I'll put it behind the cut. It could be worse.

Negative column:

I smell like beagle. That could be worse.

The car drips brake fluid every time I depress the brake pedal. I'm fairly certain that there's a big hole in my left rear brake line now that they 'tested' it. There was actually a splatter in Dave's mom's driveway, where the car had been before it rolled into its final resting spot. So, severe leak.
Could be worse: I researched the braking system (after Dad described it, I looked in the owner's manual), and cars have two separate braking systems: each one controls one front brake and the diagonal rear brake, so that if one goes, the car can still stop.
Now, mine's gone far enough that the pedal is squishy and I have to lean HARD in order to stop. I don't fancy my chances at more than 30. But I've never fancied my chances in that car and it was totaled in 2002 because I couldn't stop it at about 35 mph. So, my driving style in that car is already predicated on the fact that I don't have much by way of brakes.
And I know one of my brake lines is not optimal but not leaking either. They showed me both lines, and the one is not leaking. The front brake on the broken line is the one with the screwed-up pad anyway; the other system has no problems and that front brake works fine.

I'm not excited about the upcoming 350-mile journey. But I'm not convinced it's suicide, either. I am leaning towards having dave accompany me, though. In his car. In case all goes to hell. Bleah.

Gardening, i am discovering, is hard work. I'm barely halfway through the front yard after about four hours of earth-moving. Ugh. But, I have everything I need, and all I need is time and work. I will be getting 20 more tulips, and need to think where to put them. I just have no design sense, no feeling for layout. I should draw a picture and try designing the beds that way... I just don't know.

Well. Anyhow. At least there's a positive and a negative column, and I seem to be able to see both.

I haven't had any email from anyone but my mom in about four days, though, so that's depressing. Oh no-- I got one from Kat. never mind. :) But I posted a novel excerpt on my new fiction-writing community and didn't get one reader, which was disappointing. I figured I'd give it a few days, but that was Friday. Bummer.