catalogue of damages

[dragonlady7]

I had One Of Those Days yesterday. Here is an accounting of all the things I broke, including me.

Let's see if I remember how to put together a table. Yes, this would go well in a table.

Incident	Damage	Injury	Result
knocked a glass off my desk	broke the glass	none	glass on bedroom floor
attempted to re-pot asparagus fern	broken pot, damaged fern	hands and legs full of splinters	plant doesn't fit in new pot
reached for pasta to make pasta salad, banged elbow on corner of cabinet door	none	broken skin, no blood, bruise	made a really good potato salad
tried to walk down basement stairs in flip-flops; slipped and nearly fell	none	bruise from banister	The little old lady who used to live here installed not only two banisters but also chrome handles. I hold them.
scraped heel walking down porch steps	none	broken skin but no blood	Stupid steps.
tried to walk past stove, misjudged distance	plastic panel on edge of stove slightly bent	hip bruised	I think the stove was already like that?
washed one of dave's square rocks glasses, put it away	glass is cracked and nearly broken	none	I swear to God it was fine when I put it away. But at least the set of four is down to only one now, so there's only one more to torment me by myseteriously breaking when I'm not looking.
tried to retrieve sheets from linen closet, slipped and hit back of hand on metal shelf	none	broke skin, no blood, bruise	woke Dave up by cursing, but got my bed made and did not sleep on bare mattress. An achievement!

I felt like there was more, but I can't remember any more. I think the rest of my bruises are old, from moving. I am a little disturbed that I cannot remember where the yellow bruise on my right breast came from. I wore a shirt low-cut enough that it showed the other day, and I noticed it and cannot recall where I got it. One would think I'd remember something like that. Ah well, I was probably carrying something awkward.

So yes, do not leave your housewares to me. You don't want that.

Comments

[ellbee804.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you have had an interesting day or so. You should have your own sitcom. My advice: drink yourself into a stupor, and when you come to, pretend it never happened and just start over. :-D

-Ell

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

I wanted to try the drinking thing, but you know, the beer's in the basement and I'd probably break my leg.
XD

I didn't write down that I slipped in leaked water from a drain in the basement and almost fell facefirst into the concrete floor, because my reflexes were good enough that time that I didn't hurt myself *or* damage anything. I flailed a bit but it was all good.

You know, I have days like that a lot. I just thought to make a list this time.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I have a large and interesting bruise on my left leg that I honestly have no idea the cause of. And it's one of those scary has-to-turn-yellow-before-it-can-heal kinds of bruises.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I get a lot of those when I've been moving furniture. I've never quite had the nerve to post it, but i took a photo of my thighs last time I moved, just to document the interesting speckled effect that comes from being almost entirely covered in bruises.

[faramir-boromir.livejournal.com]

Oy. Days like this, you wish to just pull up the covers and have someone serve you in bed all day. *slinks away after realizing not a single sentence can be written that does not contain sexual reference*

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Yeah.
Sigh.

That'd be nice.

Of course I mean, um, someone bringing me tea. Right! Sure!
(and sex!)
No! Just tea!

Sigh. Well, I have neither, being home alone today, so I will have to content myself with a long bath-- but not shaving my legs, because I'd probably sever something important.

[faramir-boromir.livejournal.com]

Read my (virtual) lips:
No. Sharp. Objects. For. You. Today.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm with you on that.

Spent much of the morning in bed writing Eomer/Lothiriel smut. :D Doctor, I think I'm improving!