ugh. sleepy.

[dragonlady7]

I have stuff to do and my eyes won't focus properly. Bummer.
I have my monitor positioned really far away, because I don't like to strain my eyes looking at it too close. But at this hour I can't focus properly so I can't see it.
I just went and updated my email settings on all my forums and communities, since the era of the westnet address is drawing to a close and I have Gmail now anyway. I can't get into my Yahoo communities to unsubscribe, which is obnoxious-- I get about a hundred emails a day from this one community I'm no longer interested in, and cannot figure out how they keep getting through, since that email address doesn't work for anything else. But there they are.
Ugh, housekeeping...

I really want to make some progress in writing. I have to clean the house today, of course. Dave's mom is coming over tonight and the place is a crazy mess from moving, and we just haven't bothered sorting it out. I need to get it sorted out so I can go and get a job. There are so many things I need to buy now, that I really need to be earning money. They never cut off my unemployment, but I never got the check this week-- either the mailman helpfully delivered it to the house's former occupants at their new address, or they've cut me off and can't find me to tell me so.
Not that I care. I want to earn some money on my own, finally. I've actually saved most of the money I got from the dep't of labor, so I'm not in bad shape, but if there's no more I don't want to spend it. I'm sort of compulsive about spending money.
And i want a new printer, a new camera, a new wardrobe, etc. I just bought a (used) car that will need some work. I also want to work on this house. I want to repaint most of the rooms. I want to fix a great deal of the wiring. I want to get a nice carpet. I want to make new drapes for all the windows. I need to have some additional wiring put in. I want to do some work on the gutter on the sun porch, to help keep the lawn from being such a rice paddy. And it goes on-- all these things I can only do if i get a job.
Besides which I'm a little tired of trying to explain to people what I do.

So, job. Ugh. First must clean. Just want to write. Have good novel ideas. Nobody cares. Depressing.

I wish I could write something that Dave would be remotely interested in reading. But I can't. I just can't write the sort of things he likes. I am not witty and urban and modern. I write terrible fantasy novels, and ridiculous crap of many sorts. Nothing he'll read.

Ah well. It's all moot. I have had almost nine months now to write as I saw fit, and have accomplished nothing. I always said, 'if only I had time'-- well, i had all the time in the world and did sweet fuck-all with it. I wrote hundreds of thousands of words of completely unusable crap.

Comments

[qowf.livejournal.com]

I'm interested in your good novels. I like what you write, remember?

: )

Willing to chat anytime. And would you be referring to the HA list? Yes, they are chatty. I've been meaning to go on digest for months now.

thanks

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Aw. Very nice of you to say. Perhaps I'll finish something up enough to post something. At the moment I'm just so unfocused, I wrote half a page about Eomund and Theodwyn, and then skipped over to write about Eomer's pet dog. I mean, yeah. Focus. Great. Don't have any of that.


No, I'm not subscribed to the HA list at all. I'm on it, but I don't receive any emails. I hate mailing lists, and am forever confused by them.
I'm subscribed to a list for freelance writers, but it's mostly them volunteering to pray for one another. It's all moms, all Christians, all very... I dunno, home-maker-ly. Kind of not my demographic. It's just not worth it for me to sift through the 200 daily emails to find the one that has information I can use. The rest of it is just such sentimental crap about children and fluffy animals and God and cookies and setting writing goals for yourself along with your weight-loss goals. Yargh!