... and a trachea full of beagle hair
Jul. 9th, 2004 01:13 amThis beagle. jeez.
I discovered another weird, weird thing she does.
Dave showed me, actually.
They call it "neckies", and God only knows how they discovered / taught her this.
If you lie on the floor on your back, the dog really likes it if you blow warm air on her neck. So she'll come and press her neck against your face. This involves her putting the entirety of her weight on her neck, on your face.
This means that you cannot inhale until she gets off of you. I tried. It's terrifying. Your world is beagle neckfat rolls. (She's not fat, but she was once, and the neck skin remains.)
And then she gets kind of overstimulated and runs around, and then comes back for more, and if you've sat up she'll try to climb up your shirt. Apparently when you sneeze this gives her the idea that neckies would be cool, and if you sneeze too much she'll climb up your shirt as well.
If you blow a raspberry on her neck instead, she freaks out and whimpers and barks and then presses her neck on your face again. I have watched this, and it's hysterical, but sort of weird.
And I had this horrifying image of a little old lady, fallen on the floor, hip broken, can't get up, and the dog suffocates her because she wants neckies.
And at the autopsy, the forensic scientists are looking at this little old lady, and they're like, "well she didn't die of hunger, or thirst... Holy crap! She was suffocated."
"Really? Foul play! What was she suffocated with?"
"Apparently... with a beagle."
"BERT! WHAT DID YOU DO!"
Lassie, she is not. Fortunately no little old ladies live here. Or, for that matter, totally drunk college students who would actually be drunk enough not to be able to cope with a twenty-pound dog on their face.
Man, I need more sleep. I don't know where my imagination gets this stuff...