dragonlady7

Dear Asshole,

Your teal Ford Taurus GL with NY plates BYS 7668 has been making alarm noises for about 2 hours now. I commend you on its battery life.

Now fuck off and die, please.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S. I went outside and watched the alarm go off for a few minutes. Then I wrote down the license plate number and make and model and phoned the cops. I hope they torture you.

p.p.s. it seems I was the third person to call the cops, but the first one to get the license plate number and confirm which car it was whose alarm was malfunctioning. I know it was you, green Taurus. I was standing suspiciously next to the topless red Jeep whose alarm has tormented me in the past, and I poked the Jeep, and your alarm started going off.
I know it's you, damn you.