dragonlady7

This is the first one, done at quarter to 1 on a Tuesday night after realizing that I had become totally rusty as a writer and had some hard work in front of me.

Freewrites aren't supposed to be any good. Stop looking at me like that. But, I promised examples, so here it is. I didn't even spellcheck it, just to prove my point. You can edit yours if you want. I'm showing you the raw materials. That's how brave I am, yo.
OK, I'll stop delaying now. Here it is. Sigh.

Freewrite #1 (What's a freewrite?)
Writing for 15 minutes
no topic.

Go.
I can't believe it's nearly one in the morning and I'm still awake. That stupid story idea I had today will never work. Ice, ice, ice. Science fiction is a silly genre anyway. I love it but I'm just not as good at is as I wanted to be.
I can't pause. man, it's been forever since i did this. My typig accuracy is pretty good. Ha ha, I spelled typing wrong. Oh well. Can't go back. Har dto supprss the backspace reflex. woner how many wpm i can type now ?
I think I'fe forgoten what i was going to say. Oh well.. can't stop now. Freewrit.e. I used to do thiese freshman year with Ms. McNamara. I should look her up. it's been ages. My goodness, I'm geting old. I remember that class. I wrote a whole freewrite bout hwhining how bad my cold was and ow mad I was at my sister an for givign it to me. I remember that. and it was really whining whiny and embarrassing. And ms. Mc somehow sensed that and made me read it out to the whole class-- picked me out from everyone there and had me read it aloud. Another one was we had to pick an animal that we'd be if we could be na animal, and write about why. I remember some people just wrote nonsense, but Ann VanGrondelle said she'd be a mouse. I think I said I'd be a pony. I had a pony at that point, and she was fat and lazy. I totally emphathiszed.
I miss that pony. She was awesome. She kicked my sister in the leg. Didn't she? I don't remember whether that was her or the other horse. Tiger. man, he was a bitch. He bit me, I remmber, and i had this huge bruise and they thought I was an abused child. I wasn't, I just had a sister with a bitchy horse.
Which is odd in and of itself.
Shoot, Im' running out of steam and I still have like te n minutes. Fifteen minutes is a long time to write, especially when hyou type as fast as I do. Not fair. Bummer. I used to do thsese by hand and my handw ould cramp up. But you can't stop. You're not allowed. SO I woint. Man, my tpying accuraccy is way down. probably because it's still just before one am and i'm holding my keyboard in my lap. In a fleece blanket with wrinkles in it. Probably getting carpal tunnel or something, man. Wouldn't htat be my luck? I was fine when I worked in the corporate world but the minute I go solo and let my health insurance lapse, bam, I'll get repetitive motion and not even get worker's comp. Oh well... ian't that the way. Man, I can't even spell "ain't".
Well...
Still a bunch of time left, though I'm not supposed to be looking at the clock. I'll get better at these, I'm sure. I remember reading about some author who did hers, and she did them in notebooks and showed some of them to friends who wanted to be writers, and they felt so liberated by how awful her freewrites wrere. That's what I'm going for, right? i'm empowering my adorign fans. Of which I have none. ha! but this is fun anyway. Gives me discipline. Builds character! What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, unless of course it bites your legs off, in which case it makes you shorter. I think that's a quote from Red Dwarf. I haven't seen that show in ages. That show ruled. I think I only ever saw it on videos at Liesl's house. I miss Liesl. I wish she iddn't live on Long Island. That's a godforsaken place, if only because it's so hard to get to. Shudder. I got lost last time I went there. I don't even know where on Long Isloand she is, so it's hardly fair of me to dismiss it like that...
We also watched twin peaks at Liesl's house. I never got past the episode with the giant. That's still bumming me out, that I never finished it. And now I don't have a TV and the fourth season's not even out yet on DVD so I can't watch it on my computer. oh the humanity. I'll never survive.I'm not even a tv fan. David Lynch, is that the guy's name> he did something else and i cna't remember what. Oh well. At the time I thought it was Aaron Spelling, which just goes to show you. Something, but I don't know what.
Dear lord that timer hasn't rung yet, but I am NOT going to check ti to see if it's working. I'm sure it is, and I'm just going to keep writing. What can I write about now? My lord I'm so rusty. What if the human race takes a nosedieve and there's another Ice Age? That was my story premise and I don't know how to write it without breaking every cliche rule there is. I wonder. I also need a name for my protagonist. Is it salable? Should I worry about that yet? I don't know. mMaybe i should stick to SEO, since I"m good at that. Everyone seems to agree anyway. Oh man, can't talk about work. That makes me think too much, and thinking is bad. Bad. Baaaad. I feel like that dude in that funny video... I don't even know what I'm talking about now. Oh well. don't let the internal censor turn on! Think about... think about monkeys! that monkey finger puppet. Silly palsy ear-humping monkey. The little chimp with plushy ears. He sits on your finger and goes, "monkey monkey" and for some reason that never fails to make me laugh when Dave does it. Dave, dave, dave, why are you so silly and why are your feet always cold? Cold cold. Except now there's the electric blanket your mom gave you, and you can sleep with warm feet. That's the sweetest story I've ever heard. I love stories with a happy ending, don't you? Yes, I do.
Yes, we do, they chorused. What's that from? Right, bagenders, the thing with the tight trousers. Man, those guys are funny. I wanted to be a humor columnist. WHatever happened to that? Oh right, I was busy and didn't have time to write it. I know I should resume that. There's so much I want to write, in so many genres, I feel like I"m being pulled apart, and yet I can't manage to fill fifteen minutes with solid typing. I've typed an awful lot but my time's not up yet. No stopping, no peeking... No peeking! No peeking! It was so funny at Christmas when Helen was so drunk and they made her carry all the secret santa gifts from room to room and she was clomping like her shoes were too big and screeching NO PEEKING, NO PEEKING... I can't believe she was that drunk at Christmas, though. She's so funny.
Funny, funny... Funnies. I like to read the funnies. Dave opens up the funnies in tabs in his web browser for me every morning and we read them together. Now his bed's all warm from the electric blanket and I get to crawl under the covers and warm my toes while I read Boondocks and Penny Arcade and Zits and that other one with the little kitty. That's so funny...
I read nan old Peanuts traeasury this vacation and it was hilarious. I didn't know the early ones were that .... edguy? Edgy? tat's a good word for htem. I also hadn't thought about how Snoopy's a beagle just like Dave's dog Bertie is. Bertie is such a bad dog. She's really funny, though. She knows all kinds of words, despite being as dumb as a post. She eats tinfoil and when you say "walk?" she does the funny head-tilties thing that dogs do, with her ears pricked up. She looks like a baby seal someone's about to club. Hee hee, only she's a beagle and beagles are boneheads with superpowered noses. I almost wish I had a nose like a beagle so I'd know everyrththing about everything around me. She can smell anything. She even found the two-year-old ramen packets I'd forgotten

Oops! The alarm. That's it, I'm done.

Hmm... I could go back and edit the typos, but i think it's more picturesque if I leave them in. It gives it a certain... hallucinatory quality. Man, my hands are tired. I think it's bedtime. Too bad I don't have an electric blanket.

Holy cow, can you believe that's over 1500 words? I'm a damn fast typist, yo!