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I was planning fully to finish the Ancient Sea Geralt/Jaskier FINALLY sex scene and post that next and then do chapter 3 of fugitive but oh my god sex scenes take For God Damn Ever to write especially when you’re surrounded by children all the time. it’s. it’s a lot.

so probably i am going to give up and put chapter 3 of Fugitive up even though that’s deffo not the update people are waiting for, oh well, and then hope for a miracle to bestow me the inspiration to complete the goddamn Ancient Sea sex scene.

For some reason Geralt is being very wolfy, which is sort of funny and also sort of– I mean, it’s not deep, it’s just that he’s comfortable being inhuman and that’s sort of sweet. I imagine with sex partners he knows less well he spends more effort on not obviously scenting and biting and growling and acting more like he thinks a Normal Person must, and with Jaskier he is just not bothering because even though they’ve never fucked he’s known him nearly half a human lifetime by now and has already tipped his hand on the Weird Shit.

Here is a teaser snippet, but this is basically where it ends, it took me literally two weeks of writing to get them naked. Argh.

“You keep making those noises, I’m going to fucking devour you,” Geralt promised. 

“Please,” Jaskier said, breathless, “please do,” shoving his hips upward. 

Geralt managed to pull himself away long enough to unfasten Jaskier’s trousers. Jaskier wriggled to help him, which set off his prey instinct again and made him pin the bard down and bite his shoulder, at the last second exerting enough willpower not to break the skin with his teeth. He’d said he wouldn’t leave marks. 

“Fuck,” Jaskier gasped. “Fuck, Geralt–”

Somehow he managed to get Jaskier’s trousers off him, and his braies, and then there was skin, and his scent was overwhelming– the strongest notes in it were of happiness and relief, underscoring the arousal, and it made Geralt feel soft in the middle even as it made him hard elsewhere. 

Jaskier laughed suddenly. “Are you smelling me?”

Geralt just growled in response, a contented noise. He’d spent so long, decades, with Jaskier’s scent, often tinged with arousal, but usually shading to wistfulness, unhappiness, pining, distress, frustration– it wasn’t that he’d never smelled contented, but mostly he hadn’t, and it hadn’t been Geralt’s business to fix. 

“Get your kit off, you nut,” Jaskier said, shoving his fingers into the waistband of Geralt’s trousers, finding where their lacings were and unpicking them carelessly. Geralt growled again, not in the slightest bit annoyed.
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I want more Feral Disaster Brat Jaskier fic, does anyone have any recs??

he’s so textbook, like, poor little rich boy, but like– abused poor little rich boy, family trying to shove him into a mold he doesn’t fit into, teetering on that edge of having been raised rich and privileged and well aware that while he has access to all the money anyone could need, that access is precarious and predicated on fitting into a mold that would kill him by inches, and maybe he walks on that tightrope for a while, balancing suffocating obedience with ridiculous defiance, but probably he hurts himself a lot and does increasingly stupid reckless shit with it, and Geralt meets him just as he’s broken free of it and is out in the world broke and lost and free and savage and high on making his own decisions, no matter how bad they are, just for himself, fuck you dad.

(You can throw in an extra layer, when he meets Geralt, of him recognizing that no, Geralt has the objectively horrifying background, and all his own problems are really just his own fault and he’s so stupid to be so broken-up about the fact that his parents never cared for him because he wasn’t who they’d wanted him to be. They only tried to fantasy-conversion-therapy him, they didn’t, like, strap him to a gurney and literally mutate him or anything, so he needs to stop crying and get over this before this incredibly hot guy laughs at him, and Geralt’s like… I do not know how to process this but I very badly want this boy to stop being so vicious to himself.)

(I feel like this is really well-suited to a modern A/U, somehow. I’m trying to write it in canon-verse but it’s not really, well. I can’t go as far with it as somebody could in a modern A/U. And because of the constraints of POV I basically can’t even show it. So my lust remains unsatisfied, here.)

You combine that with the Bad Decisions Because Of All The Trauma Geralt, and you have a really winning combination of Disaster Humans who would make such beautiful terrible decisions together, and eventually maybe would figure out how to take care of one another. 
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Meet Death Sitting is a series because I couldn’t come up with a separate series title and the motif repeats in the probably-third story, and so it seems reasonable. Anyway, for the moment, I have written a little sequel that contains a plot-point literally no one in the history of ever has ever asked for, but one that seemed really obvious to me, especially after the bit about herb lore in the previous story: 

Ciri is a young lady of a particular age who now has a feral mutant gremlin for a dad, and if that means a middle-aged bisexual disaster bard has to be her mom and give her The Talk, well then. So be it. 

The Miraculous Sisterhood, on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22808449

“It’s not true that I don’t know how babies are made,” Geralt said uncomfortably. 

“Mm, is that so?” Jaskier said. “How many normal adult women have you had normal adult relationships with anyway?”

Geralt glared at him. “That’s not the point,” he said. 

“Well,” Jaskier said, “then you go ahead, explain it to Ciri so she’ll know what to avoid, and I’ll just sit and observe.”

“No,” Geralt sighed. “It’s better if you do. Just– don’t give her scandalous ideas?”

“Are you lecturing me about my dissipated lifestyle?” Jaskier asked. 

“No,” Geralt said. 

Jaskier grinned at him. “I have to get you all annoyed with me so that you’ll miss me when I go,” he said. 

Ciri looked up. “Are you really going?” she asked.

“I have to,” Jaskier said.

“No, come with us,” she said, starting to look distraught.

“We already talked about it,” Jaskier said. “I have to go.”

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “But you’re my mother now,” she said, and laughed, and the tears spilled over at the same time. Jaskier made a pained noise and came over and took her into his arms again, and they sat like that for a while.

He cried too. Why not. He was a tired old man and had nothing to prove to anyone. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said thickly. “I have to go.”
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Yes yes, I just mashed a bunch of stuff into it so it’s massive chapter, but. 

There’ll be a sequel, once I get a chance to come up with, ugh, titles for the series and for the next bit. Ugh! Titles are the worst. 

This one has some smut in it, though it’s again fairly mild so I’m not bumping the rating up. 

Also contains dubious historical analysis, children shooting Geralt with arrows, and a youth gang knife-fight for sheer funsies. (No actual children are harmed.) (Geralt is only moderately scuffed.) (Also indirect mention of child death in the distant past, and mention of the pogrom of Kaer Morhen, but no details given.)

Chapter 8: fuck this needs a title too. Uhhhh Arrow’s Flight. 

“I can smell when you’re turned-on,” Geralt said, figuring he’d just get it over with.

The scent intensified. “Really,” Jaskier said, cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Yes,” Geralt said. “I’ve always been able to. You have fewer secrets than you thought.”

“So you’ve known,” Jaskier said, “the whole time–”

“A lot of people get that scent when they look at me,” Geralt said. “It’s also usually more laced with fear than yours, though.”

He was pinker now, but his eyes were sparkling a little too. “Really,” he said.

“I mean,” Geralt said, “humans get turned on about scary things all the time.”

“I guess you’d know,” Jaskier said. He mock-pouted. “The whole time, you knew I was–”

“I wasn’t going to encourage you,” Geralt said. “You have basically no fear response and it’s not healthy.”

“I’m afraid all the time,” Jaskier said, waving a hand. “Oh, that’s embarrassing. So the entire time I’ve known you, you’ve been perfectly aware that I was completely addled with lust–”

“Not quite the entire time,” Geralt pointed out. “Only every so often.”

“No, it was the entire time,” Jaskier said.
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featuring uhhh I don’t even know what this is. The densest paragraph I’ve ever written, possibly. 

chapter 7: a snail or some kind of turtle

 The Most Perfect Fat Baby That Ever There Was In All Of The Land turned out to have quite a singable chorus, and Jaskier got most of the room to join in on the “Fat baby! Fat baby! Fat baby!” refrain, and it had the entirely expected side effect of winning over all of the surly young men even though Geralt didn’t sing (Geralt had never one time in the twenty years Jaskier had been performing in his presence showed the slightest engagement with any kind of music, so this was not a surprise) because Geralt had wound up sitting down next to him once the young woman had moved to her own chair, so Geralt was right there getting progressively less scary by association as Jaskier extemporized new verses about the child’s inevitable future as a great woman of some kind, because no child of such voluptuous magnificence could fail to achieve– he’d started off with a verse about her becoming an adventurer, but then he’d done one of her being a healer, and then one of her being an alderwoman, and then one of her becoming a blacksmith, and with some prompting from the audience, a baker, a miller, a wheelwright, or a candlemaker. He then extemporized a verse where she went to the university and became a famous bard, which everyone thought was hilarious and self-serving of him, and he managed to tie it all back in to how important bards were and how everyone should always give them food and money all of the time. Those were easy rhymes because he’d done versions of that verse in basically every improvised song he’d ever done, except of course for Toss A Coin, where he’d been begging on Geralt’s behalf instead.

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