A True Story::

[dragonlady7]

Subj: Yay!: A Contemporary Urban Litany for Two
Date: 6/6/2002 1:33:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: dave
To: bridget
Sent from the Internet (Details)



Yay!
A Contemporary Urban Litany for Two
Based on a dialog between Bridget Kelly and David Kleinschmidt
Dramatic interpretation by David Kleinschmidt

Characters
Bridget Kelly, aspiring author and webmistress
David Kleinschmidt, no-longer-aspiring computer programmer

Setting
A cluttered student's bedroom in Rochester, NY; a desk in an office in
suburban New Jersey.

BRIDGET: [looks out window thoughtfully; absent-mindedly drums fingers on
desk. Suddenly:] Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET:Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! [Suddenly confused:] Why are we cheering again?
DAVE: [Thinks a moment.] I don't remember! Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! [Struck by the absurdity of the moment:] This is getting
increasingly ridiculous, but visually entertaining.
DAVE: I agree wholeheartedly and enthusiastically. Yay!
BRIDGET: Good. I like agreement. Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: [Mischievously:] Yeehaw!
DAVE: [Confused:] Uh.. Yay!
BRIDGET: [Snickers.] Yay!
DAVE: [Shrugs.] Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! I have a feeling that what I'm cheering for now is nothing
like what I was originally cheering for, but don't really want to find out.
DAVE: [Curious:] Yay! What are you cheering for now?
BRIDGET: [Guardedly:] I don't think I want to tell you. Yay!
DAVE: [Slightly piqued:] Lovely! Yay!
BRIDGET: [Relieved:] Oh, good. Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: [Perturbed:] Yay for formerly right-justified and now with all
the little thingies taken out!
DAVE: Yay for reformatting!
BRIDGET: That's not usually what I say when I have to reformat. But yay
anyhow, simply in the spirit of the moment.
DAVE: [Cheerfully:] Not like I had anything better to do. Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! We're all a bunch of timewasters!
DAVE: [Cynically:] Yay! The futility of existence!
BRIDGET: Yay! It's all meaningless, isn't it!
DAVE: Nihilism! Yay!
BRIDGET: [Morosely:] Yay!!! Nihilism is fun for... no-one.
DAVE: [Ironically:] How terrible! Yay!
BRIDGET: Isn't it though? Yay!
DAVE: [Vapidly:] I try not to think about it too much. Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay for oblivious soldiering-on in the face of the
meaninglessness of existence!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: [Chagrinned:] My mail program has no idea how to display this
properly anymore! Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay, mine proves itself superior! Mine has no problem. Heh heh
heh.
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: [Annoyed:] Yay! Now this is all [dog barks offstage] up again!
Excellent! Yay for Apple Mail!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Meh.
DAVE: [Alarmed:] Now _there's_ a plot twist! Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay for plot twists!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! This has become nearly entirely meaningless, and is pages
and pages long...
DAVE: Seven whole pages! Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! My email program doesn't count pages!
DAVE: I just printed it out to see! Maybe I'll ship it to you when I can
afford the postage! Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! Rock on!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: [Clearly distraught about something:] Um, yay?
DAVE: [Tries to cheer her up.] Wahoo!
BRIDGET: Yipee! [Smacks her head.] Er, yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay!
DAVE: Yay!
[BRIDGET is distracted by something. DAVE looks at her quizically.]
BRIDGET: [Suddenly comes to.] Oh right. Um, yay!
DAVE: [Happy that BRIDGET hasn't forgotten about him:] Yay!!
BRIDGET: Yay! [Suddenly overcome with the absurdity of the moment:] God
this is silly.
DAVE: [Suggestively:] Hush up. You know you love it. Yay!
BRIDGET: [Coyly:] Yeah. Yay!
DAVE: [Smarmily:] Aww yeah. Yay!
BRIDGET: [Absent-mindedly:] Yay! I forgot what I was going to say, while
I waited for this to scroll down...
DAVE: [Helpfully:] You don't need to think! Just type 'Yay!' Yay!
BRIDGET: Yay! [Matter-of-factly:] Not thinking saves brain power. Brain
power is in limited supply.
DAVE: [Emphatically:] You got that right. Yay!

[Curtain.]

--
Alas! The onion you are eating
is someone else's water lily.
Lucky numbers 7, 14, 21, 22, 32, 45