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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/25ODIlP:s-leary replied to your post “oh no wait i have this feeling of dread like i just got in a fight…”
Free-floating anxiety just shows up like Tinkerbell, goes “boop!” and sprinkles you with “I believe that I suck” dust.
spaceoperafeerie said: nameless formless dread is the WORST. i hope it passes really soon <3
It’s just so vivid! I just– It’s not formless or random or whatever, like it often is, it’s so concretely exactly the feeling I get when I just fucked up, only, I’m like, 99% sure I didn’t, only I’m not that connected to reality so maybe I did and erased the memory? or like? what?? UGH.
I mean. Not that I’d rather have the formless weird shit, but this one is so concretely definitely exactly the feeling of “oh man I could’ve handled that better it’s going to bite me pretty hard when it comes back around any minute now” and– there isn’t an it! There isn’t an it to bite me!
I mean, something will, that’s just how life works. I need… something. maybe I need an old priest and a young priest. wait what’s the etiquette here. I’m too gay for the Catholics so that’s not gonna work anymore.
It seems like it would be so hard to properly medicate this, because I feel exactly the way I damn well ought to if I’d just been in a yelling match that I’d lost. Only. I just. I wasn’t, so that’s the issue.
… Oh man. I been typing all this mad storm of entries while I’m digitizing film, and it’s been almost all baby pictures, and this last roll is said babies and their dad (with whom I’ve grown familiar during this project; clearly the mom takes most of the pictures, and he rarely wears clothes, so wherever they are is a hot climate, and I’ve now seen more late-90s dad bod than anyone strictly needs to, if he were my type this project would be going a lot better for me) sitting next to a hospital bed with a very old lady in it, and then the end of the roll is the family in somber formalwear. :( That was definitely, definitely Great-Grandma’s exodus from the world.
I do take this job seriously, in the end. This shit is important.
The toddler is really cute in his little tie. I wish this roll wasn’t age-fogged. It’s okay, with some adjustments.
Well, I guess I’m less anxious now, because I’m just sad.
Free-floating anxiety just shows up like Tinkerbell, goes “boop!” and sprinkles you with “I believe that I suck” dust.
spaceoperafeerie said: nameless formless dread is the WORST. i hope it passes really soon <3
It’s just so vivid! I just– It’s not formless or random or whatever, like it often is, it’s so concretely exactly the feeling I get when I just fucked up, only, I’m like, 99% sure I didn’t, only I’m not that connected to reality so maybe I did and erased the memory? or like? what?? UGH.
I mean. Not that I’d rather have the formless weird shit, but this one is so concretely definitely exactly the feeling of “oh man I could’ve handled that better it’s going to bite me pretty hard when it comes back around any minute now” and– there isn’t an it! There isn’t an it to bite me!
I mean, something will, that’s just how life works. I need… something. maybe I need an old priest and a young priest. wait what’s the etiquette here. I’m too gay for the Catholics so that’s not gonna work anymore.
It seems like it would be so hard to properly medicate this, because I feel exactly the way I damn well ought to if I’d just been in a yelling match that I’d lost. Only. I just. I wasn’t, so that’s the issue.
… Oh man. I been typing all this mad storm of entries while I’m digitizing film, and it’s been almost all baby pictures, and this last roll is said babies and their dad (with whom I’ve grown familiar during this project; clearly the mom takes most of the pictures, and he rarely wears clothes, so wherever they are is a hot climate, and I’ve now seen more late-90s dad bod than anyone strictly needs to, if he were my type this project would be going a lot better for me) sitting next to a hospital bed with a very old lady in it, and then the end of the roll is the family in somber formalwear. :( That was definitely, definitely Great-Grandma’s exodus from the world.
I do take this job seriously, in the end. This shit is important.
The toddler is really cute in his little tie. I wish this roll wasn’t age-fogged. It’s okay, with some adjustments.
Well, I guess I’m less anxious now, because I’m just sad.
